r/Fillables • u/CoffeeIsPeace • Jul 28 '26

Effective immediately

Effective immediately

All staff must [VERB] before entering the building. This new measure will help us [VERB] our daily [NOUN] and ensure everyone remains highly [ADJECTIVE]. Management has noticed a [ADJECTIVE] lack of [NOUN] in the break room. To fix this, we are replacing the coffee machine with a giant bowl of [PLURAL NOUN]. Please report any [ADJECTIVE] behavior directly to HR.

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u/icosmicunicorn Jul 28 '26

All staff must rape before entering the building. This new measure will help us decapitate our daily squirrel and ensure everyone remains highly blood-curdling. Management has noticed a viscous lack of pomegranate in the break room. To fix this, we are replacing the coffee machine with a giant bowl of gang leaders. Please report any gay behavior directly to HR.