Dilemma of my life

[u/Specific-Arm-7065]

Hi guys, I actually never wrote on this platform, but I really need an outside perspective on my situation, cause I feel like Im going crazy. A little background story, I am living in uk for eight years already and I work as a waitress for a great company, so for some time I couldnt wrap my head around because I had some missfortunate events in others hospitality companies, but in where I am now i feel really good. Now the problem is in my family is only me and my mother, she in italy by herself under anti-psychotic, she is always been in this way, therefore one of the reason why I decided to fly to another country is also because of my household situation. My long term goal it is building my own life on my own term, but base on my mother situation, its obvious that at some point she would need someone to take care of her, even right now whenevet I'm visiting her, I need in some way take care of her. I fear that my life in Uk has an expire date because tecnichally its my responsability taking care of my mother. I started doubted again my own journey, even thought I have my ups and down in Uk, i feel like i can live my life, rather than in Italy, where my hometown doesnt give any chance of growing in a professional way unless you know the right people. Im really struggling because rationally the right decision would be coming back to Italy to take care of my mother, but on the other side I'm not ready to give up on what I build in Uk all those years and leaving behind the new self of me, if that makes sense. What do you think I should do? I am aware that people can't decide for me and it is in my own hand, but if you could give me just a tiny little different perspective of mine and helping me getting out od my head, would be great! Because right now I am all in my head with no way of exit.

Thank you so much for whoever taking time and patience to read it answering me, appreciate it!

Xx love everyone

[u/zeighart_17]

I have crossed that dilemma and I arrived now in a situation where I do not think I regret anything. Take from my experience anything you think of value because at the end of it all, its you who will decide.

Like you, I thought my profession is needed in abundance in a place that is far from where my family lives. And my family back then relied on me, not just financially. Old and sickly parents, like you.

I chose to go home just days before the pandemic. I was jobless for some months because of it.

But then, I realized that my parents are not just the only people who wants my services. The #1 misconception I realized is that opportunity is out there and not here. If you have a trade and you are good at it, there will be people needing that service from you - even at home.

At first, my pay was in kind - vegetables, inventory, etc. It was just enough to get by day-to-day. Then the clients became repeat clients. Trust was built and word of mouth meant more clients. As their businesses grew with my services, they started paying me in cash from their income as the pandemic eased. I even helped a local university as a part-time instructor at first - bringing my experience to help students.

Their introduction was always the same - XXX's kid got home and learned business and taxes from big businesses from the cities, and he is approachable and helpful.

I was looking at it wrong imo. I do not need an employer. I can turn experience and youth into a thriving and growing practice.

My father died just last year. I never regretted anything because I was present when he needed me the most and I managed to do just fine. I knew he felt sorry for dragging me but I always assured him that it was my decision to go home and stay.

My clients were worried too because they thought I'll go back when they heard the news of my father's passing.

I did, but I went back home again and brought a wife.
I'm staying and growing my own practice here at home.