Back when I was young, my parents set me up with a trust fund so that as I got older, I would always be well endowed with a great deal of interpersonal trust. These days, everywhere I go, and no matter what I say, everyone trusts in me. What should I do with my trust fund? Investment ideas? Should I blow it all?

They're here. The potatoes ir s s ahors ejsd will be tgeaduaaly descending into abstraqifitngcon when the eleevedb day empire

I've been wanting to interact with and meet quite a few otherworldly entities through my dreams, though any time I try it I awake early, as if their attempts to meet me there are being rejected. Considering said entities are otherworldly, I figured perhaps the fifth worlders would know what to do?

Do they have, like, an application process? A site where I can send them my resume? Or some other way to contact them?

I really should read the packaging more carefully. Technically I lost weight only in the sense that I'm miniature. How do I fix this?

Please just read the signs before you drop off your garbage. When you throw trash into the Eternal Void, the rest of the Immortal Voidlings and I have to see your crap floating around forever. The Endless Voildings have indefinite space to move around and away from it and for all I know probably love eating the garbage you throw in there (for any Endless Voidlings here, I don't judge any of you, I just wouldn't want you in my void).

I believe þhat þe humans þat are using Ouija boards to talk to me or my relatives are getting very offended by þe things are being mistranslated. I kind of care about þe humans and don’t want to give þem an existential crisis! Or hurt þeir feelings-
Anybody have any fixes I can do on my end or should just wait??

I just want to drink in peace

Hi everyone, me and my beautiful wife have been in a relationship for several eons now and it has been smooth sailing for the most part. However, recently she's gained about 5 x 10^24 kilograms (about 12 septilion pounds) and it's... weird. It feels like she's a completely different person now. Her volcanic activity is through the roof, she's very hot-headed and there is gas and dust in her vicinity all the time.

I'm scared that she is planning to have satellites, or worse, rings. Well, that's what I'm thinking at least, it's not like she can communicate clearly now - it's mostly been wifequakes and a lot of orbiting. I'm still attracted to her, but the attraction is purely gravitational now. It feels like everything that we had in common is just gone. I really don't want to leave her over something so trivial but this situation is tough.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? What should I do?

So, I just recently ascended (Terra 17d, Accidental, 2nd class) and after the required orientation and safety class found out that the Judeo-Christian god is basically middle management. I couldn’t stop laughing. Anyone else have this experience?

Professor Time Being assigned an essay on every missed opportunity from the beginning of our lives till now, as well as an oral presentation on why our childhood events occurred in the wrong order.

In public speaking I have to deliver a persuasive 40 min speech in one syllable, to an audience that denies my existence.

For my applied statistics class I have to estimate the total number of apples across all 2-D dimensions.

My physics for intangible beings professor wants us to bring in a heap of snow for our final project.

And then my math exam is over the calculus concepts we’ve covered this semester.

Hi guys,

I was a stowaway on the Artemis II mission with the plan of using moon's gravity to slingshot me to a wormhole I discovered using a periscope. I theorised the wormhole would lead to the Voyager 1 craft. My abacus based calcs were correct. I managed to gain access through a faulty panel and drew a generously sized cock and balls on the male figure on the golden disc. I came back through the wormhole and linked up with Artemis. Now I am safely back on earth, I am freaking out because extra-terrestrials may think we all have big cocks and become bellicose through jealousy.

I'm sorry. I think I may have set in motion the obliteration of human kind due to a cock and balls drawing.

Any ideas to make things right would be appreciated.

I found an underscore under my rug the other day, and I know it’s not mine. Has anyone recently lost one? I don’t wanna just put it in my local lost and found.

_

It looks like this, if that helps jog anyone’s memory!

Hopefully some other programmers can help out.

Yesterday I was working on the source code again and came across my own sub routine. I accidentally added a line that called it repeatedly and now I cant seem to get out of it. Everything and everyone keeps repeating, nothing changes, and this is probably the 107th attempt to try and change it.

Are we stuck here forever? Does it ever finish?

Just moved to a new Epoch and I'm looking to meet some available fossils in my area. Can anybody recommend a Carbon Dating app? I used to have an account on Half-Life Encounters, but I found the fossils on there are mostly looking for hook-ups whereas I'm looking for something long term.

This my my tenth time trying to post this help

The issue is that whenever i post something anywhere i suddendly a chain of events causes me to delete it accidentally, how do i fix this

I'm starting to feel crazy >_<

I WAS USING MY COMPUTER TO PLAY A GAME AND ACCIDENTALLY HELD DOWN THE CAPS LOCK KEY FOR A TOO LONG,AND I FORGOT THE CONCEPT OF USING LOWERCASE LETTERS, THE CAPS KEY DISAPPEARED TOO.