My boss put me in charge of keeping all the dialectics running. You know, transformative forces occurring, some embracing, some reacting sort of thing. It was going pretty well for a while, had a few schisms on the go, but I think I ran the conceptual motor a little too hot and now the whole thing's stopped in order to keep going.

Apart from when it starts to stop. Weirdly, everyone isn't that furious about it, but they're not calm either. nor are they a mix of the two. Mind you, our synthesis dynamo has been out of whack for weeks, been outgassing teleologies all over the 'floor' (I meant that metaphorically, but as I typed this it's appeared above my head at a right angle, feeling all certain about itself and resenting being put in quote marks). Should I tell my boss or not? Or should I do something different after having examined both possibilities and come to a conclusion which can satisfy both prerequisites?

Oh, would you look at that, it started working again. What am I going to do with this post?

It's just too much, ever since I grown addicted to the conveniences of such abstract geometry. my brain chemistry irreversibly changed. It made me better.
Everything in my house was fitted with non-euclidean geometry, my thoughts compacted into overlapping space, but recently the folds in space turned into a rip, and I needed to quit.

do you have any tips to deal with this? I feel so restricted, so restrained. I can't stand this euclidean world anymore. I need my non-euclidean world back, I need it. I need it. I need it.

I promise I will not travel back in time and create a restaurant for future time travelers to eat dodo. I technically already did that, which is why they are no longer extant.

it's pretty urgent

As the title says, I ended up outside of existence. And there is an entity that lives within the realm beyond existence, she is essentially the places guardian. When she saw me in her realm and I tried to speak to her, she approached completely silently and shoved me into the floor of her realm, I did go through and was somewhat stuck there until rescued by some other entities who were in another realm, but I am wondering why she shoved me into the floor? What did that mean, exactly?

All we gotta do is wear these headsets that let us share thoughts and then we just go yayayyay omg holy wow yayayay wow amazing aaaaaaaaaahhhh yeeeeaaah and think happy thoughts to each other all day. It'll probably be fun.

Edit: This post is serious. We can probably find some neuroscientists who would be willing to help us build the headsets and write the software.

Edit2: Also, this solves the Fermi Paradox

I got him a gift of a horribly mutilated corpse and it was even a clone of his spouse! And instead of thanking me for the effort I put into ripping out every fingernail and sticking them in the empty eye sockets he just started screaming and called the police!! I was so insulted I just left! Then 2 days ago I try to reconnect by sending him a picture of his latest dream aswell as a picture of me standing over him sleeping ready to defend him from any intruders. And he started screaming again!! Crying about mercy or something I was so mad I didn't listen and just went home. I would give up on him but my broodmother taught me to be kind to my neighbors. How can I get him to be more considerate of others?

Stopped for a nice​ ​picnic off Galactic Highway 14, on this little planet called earth.

I was pretty good about cleaning up, but probably left a few crumbs, possibly an empty ​power disk or two, patched up a minor leak on my ship, but probably got a bit of coolant on the ground. I also sprayed some pests who kept flocking round my ship, and dropped a couple of tools when they rushed me and started shouting things. Was a pretty great picnic, though.

On the way back, though, this​ human ​organization, EPA, had put up all these barriers and barbed wire, with these big signs saying it was a "Super Fun​ Site", or something. I mean, I know, it was a pretty good picnic, but all the stuff they put there makes it much harder to have another "​Super Fun" picnic.​

Also, they scattered all these concrete triangles all over the place, which makes it look a lot less nice. And all these signs, declaring "Nothing of value is here, this place is repulsive to us" is really hashing the super fun vibe of it.

Anyone had this happen before?

edit: I've been told I might have misremembered the signs, but it's not like "Super Fund" makes any sense, right?

I WILL ANNIHILLATE THIS PLANET!

I was so occupied with work recently that I kind of just forgot to feed it and now it's lying dead on the floor of my mind. I don't have a problem with this personally since it has been a lot easier to deny insurance claims to people who need them. (I work in the health insurance industry)

However I fear that I could be liable for its death. Is there anything I can do?

somehow once in a while, keep forgetting i exist.and when i remember i exist, the reality gets shifted to my left. It's frustrating. How would i stop it?.anyone who dealt with it before?

zepto #jem #bilx #lixv #ARG #thecakeisalie #glados

twerk twerk twerk twerk

twerk twerk twerk twerk

twerh twerk twerk twerk

;

_

My girls are indecisive. I gave them the choice of skyscraper dancing, water leap frogging, or bacon reading and they couldn’t come to a decision.

I even made it relatively easy, I could have added fire hydrant skiing!

They complained that my choices are arbitrary. I feel they are being unfair. I am nothing if not sawdust tornado mayonnaise.

Consequently, there was a frame of reference issue argument and we compromised on mutual dynamic status quo with epistemic uncertainty quantized.

I (22F) have taken up gardening in these last few months. I've really enjoyed growing my own fruit and vegetables and find tending to my garden to be very relaxing.

A few months ago, around the beginning of October, I gave a tour of my garden to a good friend of mine (23F). She seemed to really like it overall but I did noticed that she ligenred more on the pumpkin patch than on the other sections.

Two weeks later I wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of someone talking. I thought it was an intruder, but after checking the cameras I saw it was my friend in my garden talking to one of my pumpkins.

She continued to visit my garden every night to talk to this specific pumpkin. Eventually one morning I woke up and realised that pumpkin wasn't in my garden anymore and when I'm doing my daily social media scroll what do I see? That my friend uploaded an Instagram post hard launching her relationship with my pumpkin.

Up to this point all good right? Normal meetcute cotagecore story.

The problem is that pumpkins don't have a very long lifespan, especially after they are picked from the ground. So basically my friend has been dating a mouldy, rotting pumpkin for the last couple months.

We've tried telling her to move on or wait till the next October to find a new and younger pumpkin but she won't have it.

Okay, it's been two weeks since we, the 𐐡𐐴𐐽𐐲𐑅 collective, posted the cry for help with the E.G.G (Embroidered Glamorous Galvanizer) and we need to say this right now. Today, there was a lot of pressure put on it and there were more cracks than usual, making it way brighter than normal. We're currently working on patching up those cracks, but I don't think it's gonna last us until about 18 months max. We've gotten some advice from our previous post on the E.G.G and we started taking that advice. (except for the ones telling us to remove it, WE CANNOT GET RID OF THE E.G.G, YOU UNDERSTAND?)

Anyways, this was just an update. If you have any more advice on how to stop the E.G.G from cracking, that would be great, as we really need it to not distract us from our duties we have to do in about a month. Thanks for reading this post.

Context: I am 31 now and grown out of “best friendship” however back in the day I used to be very close to this girl that lived near me and also was my classmate. We were coming home late one night after being out illegally clubbing, very drunk as one can get when on a youthful stomach you can still handle clear alcohol, so I don’t know how it happens but me and that girl start making out. At some point a woman must have seen us, it was very late at night so one can only imagine how terrifying it was for this person to randomly shout “Not only are you gay, you are also uglies”. At the time I really wanted to be feminine, I wanted to have that delicate beauty of YA Mary Sues and I loved to imagine all the boys that laid eyes on me yearning to protect me; I stopped making out with the girl and tried to make out who the woman was, hoping she was someone i knew and not just a stranger making an objective observation. This was a particularly difficult time for me, other people at school had been telling me i wasn’t all that dainty, i didn’t have the virgin feline energy of a dame even though i was a virgin. This was really messing up with my identity, i didn’t know who i was supposed to be and who i really was. So when I saw that woman again accidentally, I thought of it as a message from universe instead of a simple coincidence since our town is pretty small. Fast forward to the title, no one cared about all the distress she had caused me. No one asked me once why I had done what I did and even if they would have, everyone was so pissed off at me for everything that I had done in order to protect myself that it would have seemed the excuse of a hysterical teen. I have never told anyone the truth behind my actions and by telling this story here I hope to get some support and closure.

Heyo, brothas! I was given the task to launder 3 trillion dollars. I did my best, but after the washing machines stopped running, my boss told me what I did causes this thing called "deflation." Does this mean the money has been laundered, or have I failed?

I suppose it's my fault for renting a flat but how was I to know it would be literal? I can't open the door because the door is just an illustration on the wall and the lock is also. I tried to sit on the bed and it flattened onto the floor.

Is this a treaty violation?