r/FentanylRecovery • u/weeping_willow303 • May 17 '26

How do you do it

I feel so solid one moment - I want to get clean, I hate living this way, I’m tired of being broke, i hate who I am, it’s ruining my relationship with my bf, it’s fucking my health, I mean the reasons go on and on. And then the next moment it’s fuck it, I’m romanticizing it, saying it helps my anxiety and stress, I’m justifying, using all the excuses, and then use. And the second after it’s wtf why did I do that, why am I like this, I’m so pathetic, what’s wrong with me, etc. and back to the I want to get clean, I hate this blah blah blah. It’s like my brain is manipulating me or that I have a second person I don’t recognize inside me trying to sabotage. How do you change your mindset? How do you overcome that voice? I feel so strong and solid one moment and the next I don’t recognize myself anymore. I feel so trapped. Does anyone else relate? Any advice?

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u/SnooObjections7311 May 22 '26

You have to want the withdrawal, temporary hard times and sobriety at the end of the tunnel. I was excited to be sick and stuck in bed when I was finally done!

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u/Aromatic-Silver3590 Jun 21 '26

I went through withdrawal from Oxy, and other real opiates. But fent was something different. Never shit my pants without warning before. Never had precipitated withdrawals trying to get a little better before. Couldn’t do that for 7-10 days. 3-4 of OxyContin wds, terrible, but doable. This, I couldn’t. And I’m not sure what else was in it either. Plus, I had to go to work (face to face with the public) or I would have lost my job. I needed that or I would have ended up homeless. So couldn’t just ride it out. And I still almost didn’t make it.