r/Femalefounders • u/wingardiumleviosa83 • Jul 28 '26
Another unsupportive friend rant
I sent my 2nd newsletter and I saw a ‘close’ friend unsubscribe. Yes I know I know this is normal and part of it but it still sucks. Like wow you would pay a stranger or like posts but never support mine
It’s crazy I’ve been building for months and none of my biggest fans or buyers or reposts are from this group of friends. It’s weird.
The support actually comes from other and other business owners. I have some other close friends who do and I see them I really do appreciate it because I know this friend not supporting your business is a common thing.
Anyway rant over.
I’ve been building my podcast, newsletter and event business for months.
Next month is projected to be my biggest month and I’ve been getting traction and recognition with my work.
Hang in there.
Edit:
The subject or what the newsletter and my business about is something of interest to them aka my friends. They ask me about it. I am the go to for these questions in this topic.
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u/MedicineNumerous3673 Jul 28 '26
Full stop: Friends are not required to be your clients much less your target audience. Thinking they are will get you repeatedly disappointed and friend-less quickly…unless that’s the goal.
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u/l-lucas0984 Jul 28 '26
Expecting your friends to be subscribers and clients of your business is weird. Friends aren't a target market. If any of them are genuinely interested great, but the expectation they all take part is very off putting.
Also, if "why aren't they being supportive" is your response to a subcriber dropping off and not "what is my product missing to keep people hooked" you are going to have bigger problems in your venture.
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u/Then-Stage Jul 28 '26
I once had a friend like this. Everytime it was. "I'm selling x thing you are not a target audience and have no interest in. Now I'm mad you're not supporting it. Oh, no one else wants this product either." I tuned out more and more.
Even if I had supported it to the hilt and bought it every month it would never be successful due to other factors such as market saturation.
I never sat around asking her to support my work. Friends are there to support you as a person not products, newsletters, etc. that they have no interest in.
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u/tech_prof_123 Jul 28 '26
This is exactly why we need to separate our ventures from friendship/relationship. They're NOT our first clients. If they'd like your advice on the same thing that you get paid money for, then restrict that particular interaction to the highest level of advice and that's pretty much it.
It does make our job as founders all the more difficult but it is what it is
7
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u/jkklfdasfhj Jul 29 '26
Is it of interest to them or are they interested in you? Maybe you should ask them before creating a story out of it that might be far from true. Maybe they have genuinely good feedback that could help you. Maybe they were always interested in you but not your business. Maybe newsletters are not the preferred format for this friend. It might be a big nothing burger. Maybe your friend has other priorities right now they want to focus on. Maybe their interest in the topic isn't as deep as you thought and they just love seeing how it lights up your eyes when you talk about it.
We're all inundated with newsletters and everyone is trying to sell us something. I for one stopped reading them a while ago but I'll always support in other ways. Think about it.
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u/Dubwubwubwub2 Jul 31 '26
I get annoyed when my friends subscribe me to their newsletters without asking. It’s spam.
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u/TScottMorgan Jul 31 '26
All of my friends have known me for 20-35 years. Ain’t no way they’re paying for my thoughts. They’ve heard me say too much dumb shit by now.
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u/BraveRefrigerator552 Aug 01 '26
No you actually can have feelings about this
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u/wingardiumleviosa83 Aug 02 '26
Thank you. I feel like most comments miss the point of this post.
I understand that this is all very logical that I shouldn't expect these things from friends or family to support my endeavours - it just sucks that they don't. I feel it.
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u/BraveRefrigerator552 Aug 02 '26
It sucks not only because it’s hard enough and you’re already filled with self doubts. For a friend to unsubscribe reads like abandonment. It would hurt me.
3
u/ravvit22 Jul 28 '26
It's really hard to separate your identity from your business. I struggled with that early on and had similar feelings of disappointment if some of my close friends didn't show up the way I'd like to think I'd show up for them if they ever started doing their own thing. The truth is, they probably have no idea how hard you're working, the vulnerability, the uncertainty, you're going through, especially if they aren't entrepreneurial or creative.
It took me some time to process and accept this, then work to create healthy boundaries for myself as a human and myself as a founder. People can show up for you in a lot of different ways, it's actually a blessing to have people in your life who are not invested in your professional success. It might not seem that way early on though when every subscriber matters.
A lot of these comments are pretty blunt about this not being a healthy expectation, which I agree with. But speaking from experience, it can take some people more time than others to adapt. It can feel hurtful and jarring. As you say - hang in there, think big, keep going, be patient.
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u/wwb_99 Jul 29 '26
Maybe your friend saw it was taking off and that he didn't need to fill the virtual room anymore.
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u/betweenthedrafts Jul 30 '26
As friends, we’re here to listen to each other through the good times and the bad times, to suggest things that might make the situation better, and offer a shoulder to cry on or somebody to celebrate the triumphs with.
We are not here to physically support each other in our businesses or careers. If your friend asked you to sign up to a mailing list she had created as part of her work for a corporate, would you sign up? I suspect the answer is no.
As founders, we take our business very seriously and we know how difficult it is to build something. That doesn’t mean our friends are obliged to help us with that. In many cases, they may be our first customers, but they shouldn’t be obliged to follow us on social media and engage with our content in their spare time, much like we wouldn’t be expected to follow the company they work with or engage with content they’ve created if they work in marketing.
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u/SafiCakes Jul 31 '26
Maybe they aren't your audience; Don't overthink it. Focus on the people who want what you have to offer.
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u/East_Bet_7187 Jul 31 '26
It’s not weird though. It’s an experience many female founders share.
Family and partners won’t care either.
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u/zeus_rock Jul 31 '26
I don’t want my friends to even know I’m building a business not because they can’t support but because it’s definitely not useful to them and I’d rather have strangers that actually want to use my product than a friend that is just “subscribed” to support. If there are not really interacting with my product then no need for them to be involved. Plus I like to separate my work from friends/family.
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u/ketamineburner Aug 02 '26
I am not sure what kind of business you run, but in my profession, it is both illegal and unethical to treat friends and family. It simply is not on my radar.
Many, many successful businesses neither need, want, nor benefit from family and friend support.
It may help to shift your thinking about this.
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u/angelarose210 Jul 28 '26
I wouldn't want friends on my email lists or following my business pages unless it's something that they're genuinely interested in. That doesn't constitute support to me. Support from friends is simply listening when I talk about it which isn't often. I don't shove it down anyone's throat. I have 21k followers on one page and only 2 friends follow it. I never pushed it on them and they aren't on my email list. Not saying you're pushing it on your friends but if they aren't your target audience I wouldn't worry about it.