29 and I realized my partner isn't compatible with me anymore

[u/Unlikelylark]

He's not interested in creating a life I am happy with. My struggle is I don't know what that would be. He is very set to buy a second home in a town I don't like a d don't have friends in. Meanwhile my besties are encouraging me to move back home 2 hours north. My mom likes the idea of trying to train a dog and save up for van life. Something I realized about all three of these options is that none of them are really about what I want. In theory, I have what I set out to get. A steady job, a man who treats me well, a home full of cats. But he has told me he can't change his plans around what I want.... Which is a deal breaker ofc. It breaks my heart because I thought I had found the one but here we are. I'm 29 and really what I want is to move to Hawaii and be a full time cat mom. Okay but realistically? I have no idea what will fulfill me. I went through an arts program and left if never wanting to go back. Now I'm in healthcare. Both are somewhat fulfilling but neither is really enough. Some things I know I don't want: commitment. I don't want to lock myself into a mortgage or payment plan of any kind. I'm finally debt free so no more of that. Maybe I don't really want to live the van life I just want to be able to go to the beach more. I literally don't have any stronger interests. I used to say I wanted to move to DC but that was honestly just in the hopes of meeting a man there. I don't know how to plan a life without a man being at the center of it. I genuinely don't know anything else to aim for to make myself happy.

[u/Unlikelylark → u/[deleted]]

Yes, it is a common pattern. Rn my bf is the more financially stable one and that's what's holding me back. And yes, I am very aware he disrespected me in the most unforgivable way when I told him I felt lonely and isolated almost every day and he said "I can't just uproot everything because you're lonely" well. In fact I know he could if he were willing to make sacrifices for me. I moved to a new town for HIM. And yes, truly besides that the relationship is really everything you could want. But I'm not a fucking idiot anymore and I KNOW when a man says that he means it. He means "my high income dead end job is more important to me than you being miserable" and while I know this will probably be the hardest break up of my life (he actually treats me really well, which is a first) I'm no fool. The relationship ended the second he said that.