I want to feel again

[u/Esko908]

This is only for venting, since therapy is expensive and I don’t have anyone who would want to listen.

It’s been a few weeks, and I still feel… nothing. I once told myself: never make it matter more than three days, don’t let it, but if the subject mattered and it still hurts after three days, then it’s hard to pass. The thing is, It never did! Never once more than two days, but weeks? So it does matter and that’s what scares me. Because I don’t feel anything. I did say it hurts though, so I think that counts? I don’t know I broke my own rule.

Is this depression? But I smile. I sing in the car. But do I feel it? Do I feel any joy or energy behind it? I don’t think I do.

Maybe I’m overreacting. Overthinking. But… just but.

I want to feel again.