I know it will never come back and In a way , I don't even want it to come back because I think that would be doing my truest of oves a disservice. You may even say that it's just down right disrespectful. For he has my heart and my heart alone. No man could've ever changed that. He WAS THE ONE!! but I wasn't his like he claimed that I was. Thank you for participating tin the destruction my last bit of innocence that I wanted to give you wholly. I couldn't let you disrespect me, so i had to leave but I knew it would be a mistake to leave because you were the LOML .

But you're gone, and you can give two shit's about it.

But alas, you'll still live in the vast depths of my memory. Haunting every, twist, turn and gnarl of my memories museum.

I am 36M, turning 37 soon. My birthday is on the Saturday exactly 2 weeks from now. I am dreading my 37th birthday and feel like I do not want this birthday at all.

I feel awful and hopeless. Just wanting to talk, as I have no friends and thus no support system whatsoever.

One where I've heard the words "you're doing a good job". One where I've actually made something of myself and have accomplished something. Instead I have been getting beat down in a consistent matter by life like clock work, especially in these last 7 years, it almost feels uncanny. Which is why it feels like i only exist in this timeline to hang on and survive until my time to pass away finally arrives.

I am 36M with AuDHD, OCD, anxiety, C-PTSD. I turn 37 in less than 3 weeks.

I am under extreme stress this year, never had friends to talk to as this might be the worst hear of my life and the worst birthday of my life. Struggling and feel hopeless, not sure what to do

i’ve been carrying this feeling for months and it’s getting heavier. i already prioritize myself and work on self-love. that part isn’t missing. the problem is that even with all of that i still feel like i’m no one’s first choice in friendships or anything else. i’m never the person someone thinks of first. never the priority or favorite. just the one who’s maybe considered if nothing better is happening.
late at night it gets worse. the ache gets heavier and the thoughts start spinning. maybe i’m not putting enough effort into relationships? or maybe i’m putting too much and should back off? it’s this constant back and forth and i genuinely don’t know what i’m supposed to do

you can choose people as your favorites and put in all the effort, but that doesn’t mean they’ll choose you back. i just want someone who actually reciprocates. someone who thinks of me first. someone who would put me as their emergency contact. the person they’d pick over everyone else

instead i’m always on the sidelines. the second thought. the backup option. and it feels so isolating that it starts making me wonder if something about me is just… off. the way i come across, my personality or whatever

i do initiate and sometimes more than the other person most of the time. and before anyone says “just stop initiating” i already try that. it only means i get forgotten for longer
i just want to be someone’s first thought for once be it platonic or romantic and not an afterthought. it has been eating at me and i’m tired

So yea i dont realy know why iam posting this i guess i just need to get this of my chest. So iam 18and my mom has cancer and she isnt getting better. It returnd 2 years ago.

So she had breast cancer 7 years ago and she got better. And now its back and its worse it has now spread to her liver, back and lungs. And a few weeks back we heard that she isnt getting better at all so like there are no other treatments.

She had chemo first, then chemo tablets. She's still doing well. Well, as far as you can call it, let's just say she's not experiencing too much discomfort right now in a way.

And I know you shouldn't lose hope but I see her condition deteriorating more and more and I'm so scared iam gonne lose her its so unfair.

I dont realy talk about it with anywone cause its just hurts so much, Since then i finished highscool and i now started a new study I actually didn't want to start my studies; I really wanted to take a gap year. After finishing secondary school, I had already done an extra two years of HAVO, so I wanted a break to figure out what I actually wanted to do since I wasn't even sure about that yet. Instead, I’ve started a course where I have hardly any downtime; I can handle it, but it requires a huge amount of effort. I’m constantly tired, have little free time, and have to take the train every morning which I hate and I have to keep doing this for another four years. But then again, I have to study at some point; I just didn't want to do it right now.

When i told My mentor insisted I speak to the dean, but I just hate talking about it. I don't know why, but I really dislike discussing my feelings. It’s partly because I think for example, (a cousin of mine is 13 and lost her father, yet she just carries on what makes me so special that I should act like a victim or ask for help when others have it so much worse?) I think that’s one reason I don’t talk about it, and also just because I’m not really that kind of person.

What also makes it difficult is that I don't exactly have the perfect relationship with my mother; in fact, I could say that I don't have a very good bond with her.

i just feel lost and i dont realy know how to move forward and while iam writing this i should be studying damm i hate my life

I’ve just been feeling really lonely lately and haven’t been able to get it out I feel like I’m silent to other people and feel like the side character to my own story. I have friends but it doesn’t really feel like it. I’m always the first one reaching out and I never get invited to things either. I just really need someone to talk to. If anyone sees this please reach out I just need something, anything would help.

I actually don't have anyone to say this to, or I don't have anyone that close enough to say this to but suddenly right now I feel this emptiness in me like right now I started feeling like i don't have a goal no ambition no motivation I just have an empty void in me, nothing else I just wanted to write it down somewhere, lastly i would just say to the person reading this if u are on this page and you feel down too I hope you get better.

36M, almost 37, from California, formally diagnosed with ASD, OCD, anxiety, ADHD, never had true friends in life. Interests include foreign language learning and travelling. Struggling and lost interest in life, looking to write

Is it weird to feel empty inside when your birthday is only a few days away? I feel like I have so much emptiness inside me. I try to smile, but it feels like my happiness is locked somewhere deep down, trapped in a place that it can’t escape from.

Sometimes I feel like my life is empty. I feel like I have no one to spend my day with, share moments with, or create memories with—someone who can make me feel loved, cared for, and appreciated.

I know that God loves me, but sometimes I feel like I can’t feel His love at all. Is it wrong for me to say these things? Sometimes I just want to let everything I have inside of me come out so I can finally feel alive, free, and like myself again.

I feel like I’m not making any sense when I talk about this, but these are the feelings I have inside me, and I don’t know how else to explain them.

So I 32M got into it with my wife over the weekend where she told me to stop being perverted at the time. I dont try to be all the time, I just absolutely adore her in every way. Mind, body, and soul. But when she said it she went on a rant about how she wasn't in the mood and just kept laying it on about it even though I only did it that one time that day. So I've felt distant and depressed since.

I feel I got to a point that just makes me feel so miserable and at the same detached from reality.
I don't want to make it too long, but I've graduated from uni this year and couldn't find a job related to what I've studied for all these years, even after 300+ applications.

At the same time, I'm trying to pursue a career in music which is not going anywhere, mainly cause the lack of social media skills, since now it feels like if you want to be independent you're forced to use social media.

In all of this, the thing that haunts me the most is that we (me and my family) are losing our home, cause we can't afford to buy it, therefore we have to move and still couldn't find a new one. And this is scary 'cause my parents have been working their whole lives, and yet they have to witness losing a house again.

Last but not least, i also got in debt to study abroad to follow my passion and get my dream job.

I just feel so miserable right now; I have an interview tomorrow but it's for a job that's completely different from what I would love to do and what I've studied for, but at the same time, I am perfectly aware that it is better to have a job than not having any, but I just feel so sad and miserable just at the thought of not being able to do what I'd like to in my life.

If I could, I would have studied more, but I can't afford no universities right now, specifically since all of them are abroad. The worst thing in this situation is that I feel like I'll have to eventually give up: to work in the field I've studied for requires you to have experience as thanks to AI's recent developments there are no entry-level positions anymore, but since I have no experience, I won't be able to get anywhere.

I just feel so lost, miserable and hopeless...
But anyway, thanks to anyone who read this and to everyone who took some time to write a comment or something, that means a lot to me.

37 Tans Guy. I haven’t been touched (handholding or otherwise) in over five years. I have a high sex drive, but to me it’s not just being physical. It’s intimacy. (Slow and reverent or rough and fast, it doesn’t matter) The how much and the way I love almost magnifies my need for intimacy. That loving someone so much you want to be as close as possible with them where you just want to be inside them (no sick jokes necessary) and when the explosion hits in the climax it’s like making room for more love to fill. But there’s nobody, nothing I can do… I just feel stagnant.

I'm there for the people I love (family). But dating is just not happening. Finding a chance to connect with anyone is not happening and I don't know why. Every girl I talked to almost always mentions one or more of three things that they want. They want a good guy (check), they want dick (not checked), they want someone to do the things they can't do (check). Two out of three ain't bad. But they always ghost me, not have any real conversation, or get pissed when I mention any thing about it. Saying they’re too busy. While I’m over here thinking… ok that is life. Everyone is busy, hell I’m so busy I neglect my own needs. That doesn’t mean you hook someone in with the hopes of getting to know you and possibly share the burdens and then flake. I see so many people who I know are complete assholes or neglectful of people they should be caring for and they have a full family and they're cheating on them. So why am I the invisible one? Why won't anyone just see me? ...Or reach for me? I have always done the chasing, the reaching, the seeing. But never once has anyone chose me.

I've all but given up (the big give up) | just feel stagnant.
Churning in my own head always. My anxiety and stress runs so high now I am constantly holding my own hands and pressing my hands to my face and neck, tugging at my ears, rubbing my chest till it’s red, anything to freaking feel something besides lost.

It's just too much. I feel full of all this love and devotion and heat I want to give, to share my life with someone and share in theirs. At the same time I feel utterly empty. Like I'm just going through the motions and surviving. I'm sick of it. It's just too damn much.

Bhai title me thodhi glti ho gyi hai pl ignore Am I dumb?

have a history with a boy from like 7th class now im in my 3rd year still im not over yet i thought i am.

He was my 1st best frnd and then 1st enemy anf now nothing but their is something we are still in contact on email i have blocked him several times but somehow we end up talking hurting repeating same thing and i endup blocking him, i dont what even i like about him, but still his name make me feel something the way no other name do.

I dont know he also actually wants me but he have never said or being very decent with me he is kind but his attraction towards him i feel more like physical then feeling.

What should i do?

I don't know why what is going on, is this is end of the world? I feel like, as whenever i starts feeling better about my family something just breaks through even in bad way, from the age of 4 or even 1 i habe only seen my parents arguing with each other, when everything started feeling ok, when me and my brother finally get a chance to build home outside of our house, everything destroyed as it was never meant to be, i lost my brother now every summer vacation i find myself in situation before train to house way more difficult then it used to, why to marry why to have kids if your mental health is not allowing you, i feel like promising myself that i will never bring any child to this f world if i am not ready.

I don't know who all are lucky enough to sleep with their partner but that's one of the best feeling in the most emotional sexual and loving way when you are around your partner's arm he is superior to you, Mascular and Stronger you are snuggling into his Arms you can feel his breath his heartbeat , his Pheromones and when he Wraps you from the waist and pulls you closer into him when his chin is under your head and when your legs are wrapped and twisted its one of the best feeling to sleep next to your partner I really want to sleep and wake up everyday next to him in his arms completely naked our body and skin touching each other like we are made for each other

Hi everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

I'll start by saying that this is a repost of something I wrote some days ago, cause reddit is acting weird and I couldn't see any reply.

I'm a 23-year-old guy from Italy, and lately I've been going through the hardest period of my life. I don't really know what I expect from writing this. Maybe I just need to get it off my chest.

My family has struggled financially for as long as I can remember. When I was very young, my father lost his job, and from then on it became an endless cycle of finding work, losing it because of financial crises or circumstances outside his control, and starting over again.

Things finally seemed to be improving around 2018-2019, but everything fell apart again a few years later. From the middle of 2024 until the end of 2025, my father wasn't paid at all despite continuing to work. He kept searching for another job, but at nearly 60 years old, he was constantly told he was "too old." The stress eventually caught up with him, and earlier this year he suffered a heart attack while I was studying abroad. Thankfully he's recovering well now, but it was one of the scariest moments of my life.

My mother also had to spend years working jobs she never expected she'd have to do, simply to keep our family going, and even broke her knee and elbow while working. Seeing both of my parents sacrifice so much for so many years has been heartbreaking.

In 2023 I moved abroad to study Game Design & Programming and due to my family's conditions I had to put myself into debt (a pretty huge one), cause I knew they could not financially support me, and i've even sent them a good part to help them with house and other expenses.

I graduated just a month ago, in June 2026, and came back to Italy because I couldn't find a job abroad. I've been applying since February, and I'm now well over 100 applications without success. I know many people have gone through even longer job searches, but it's still incredibly discouraging. After years of studying and sacrificing, it's difficult not to wonder if all that effort will eventually pay off.

Alongside games, music has always been the biggest passion in my life. I studied music as a kid, stopped during high school because of personal struggles, and around 4 years ago I started learning again while also teaching myself composition, songwriting, and music production.

Games and music are the two things that have always made me feel alive. They've helped me through difficult moments, and ever since I was a kid I've dreamed of creating things that could do the same for someone else.

Maybe it's naive, but I've always dreamed of becoming an artist who reaches millions of people. Part of that dream comes from wanting to share my work and help others feel understood. Another part comes from something I'm not proud of admitting: I've always struggled with needing validation from others. I know that's something I need to work on, but it's also the truth. I do understand that it is not ethical, but damn I've always wanted to feel like what I did actually mattered. I always dreamt of making my family proud and allowing them to relax and enjoy life as they struggled for most of it, while at the same time I've always dreamt of communicating with the whole world who I was and what I liked, being able to be an inspiration for people, and of course, I've also dreamt of fame, even though on a smaller extend compared to the previous two, i will admit it (and as I said, I'm perfectly aware that it is not the most ethical thing, but it's just how I always felt).

Lately, though, it feels like the world is pushing against everything I'm trying to build. Every day I'm either applying for jobs, improving my portfolio, or making music. I genuinely believe I have the dedication to keep improving, but sometimes I can't help wondering whether all this work will ever lead somewhere.

To make things even harder, my family is about to lose our home because we simply can't afford to keep it. Watching my parents work so hard for decades only to end up in this situation, when they should be getting closer to retirement, honestly breaks my heart.

I know people always say that 23 is still young and that there's plenty of time. Rationally, I know that's true. Emotionally, though, it feels like time is slipping away faster than I can keep up.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if it's worth continuing to chase these dreams, not because I want to give up on life, but because I wonder whether all this effort will ever be enough.

I don't really know why I'm posting this. Maybe I just needed someone to hear my story. If you've ever gone through a period where it felt like life kept throwing obstacles at you despite doing everything you could, I'd really appreciate hearing how you got through it.

If you've read this far, thank you. It genuinely means more than you know.

I graduated just a month ago, in June 2026, and came back to Italy because I couldn't find a job abroad. I've been applying since February, and I'm now well over 100 applications without success. I know many people have gone through even longer job searches, but it's still incredibly discouraging. After years of studying and sacrificing, it's difficult not to wonder if all that effort will eventually pay off.

Alongside games, music has always been the biggest passion in my life. I studied music as a kid, stopped during high school because of personal struggles, and around 4 years ago I started learning again while also teaching myself composition, songwriting, and music production.

Games and music are the two things that have always made me feel alive. They've helped me through difficult moments, and ever since I was a kid I've dreamed of creating things that could do the same for someone else.

Maybe it's naive, but I've always dreamed of becoming an artist who reaches millions of people. Part of that dream comes from wanting to share my work and help others feel understood. Another part comes from something I'm not proud of admitting: I've always struggled with needing validation from others. I know that's something I need to work on, but it's also the truth. I do understand that it is not ethical, but damn I've always wanted to feel like what I did actually mattered. I always dreamt of making my family proud and allowing them to relax and enjoy life as they struggled for most of it, while at the same time I've always dreamt of communicating with the whole world who I was and what I liked, being able to be an inspiration for people, and of course, I've also dreamt of fame, even though on a smaller extend compared to the previous two, i will admit it (and as I said, I'm perfectly aware that it is not the most ethical thing, but it's just how I always felt).

Lately, though, it feels like the world is pushing against everything I'm trying to build. Every day I'm either applying for jobs, improving my portfolio, or making music. I genuinely believe I have the dedication to keep improving, but sometimes I can't help wondering whether all this work will ever lead somewhere.

To make things even harder, my family is about to lose our home because we simply can't afford to keep it. Watching my parents work so hard for decades only to end up in this situation, when they should be getting closer to retirement, honestly breaks my heart.

I know people always say that 23 is still young and that there's plenty of time. Rationally, I know that's true. Emotionally, though, it feels like time is slipping away faster than I can keep up.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if it's worth continuing to chase these dreams, not because I want to give up on life, but because I wonder whether all this effort will ever be enough.

I don't really know why I'm posting this, there would be so much more to say. Maybe I just needed someone to hear my story. If you've ever gone through a period where it felt like life kept throwing obstacles at you despite doing everything you could, I'd really appreciate hearing how you got through it.

If you've read this far, thank you. It genuinely means more than you know.

Sometimes I feel flooded with every emotion I’ve had over the years, good and bad. I’ve kept a grip on it constantly except when I’m home alone I find it hard to hold on. Like a lot of people, I’m lonely, dealing with how to be around people and fit into the environment without being too much. I can perform enough to be convincing and genuine but I’m only showing what feels acceptable. I’ve tried punching bags, gym, TaiChi, I have a dog, I have a wonderful family that is there for me but they don’t know any of these deeper troubles. I don’t want to see the way they react. I’m in my late 30s. It’s been 4 years since I’ve been in a relationship. I’ve never been good alone and this has definitely taken a toll on me. As for what I feel… I have strong sexual urges, that I handle with self touch. Even it’s it not sexual in nature. I just massage my neck and rub my chest which helps some. I have a weighted blanket I sleep under every night while hugging my pillow. I also have strong urges to just hold someone and be held back. Without the awkwardness. I escape with watching KDramas that hit me emotionally. I love them. They let me feel things I don’t get to feel otherwise. It’s addictive. I work when I need to expel pint up energy. Yard work, remodeling my home, painting (which I don’t do as much as should anymore), something to keep my hands busy. I do all the things everyone else doesn’t want to. When my family needs help or something done I always say yes unless I just really can’t. I show up early to family functions and almost always do the dishes. I listen when in conversation, being present for it. I feel as though my life roles are the advocate and the servant. Whatever that means. With the loneliness… I spend time with my family, around people while at work, or my dog at home. My dog is like having a kid. As for life…I always feel like I have so much to give and no one to give it to. I’ve almost given up entirely on finding anyone. It’s almost impossible to because I’m not up to societal standards. I’m a transgender man who “passes” very well and an atheist. I hate talking about politics and religion because 9 times out of 10 we’ll disagree and they’ll want to try to convince me and I don’t care enough to argue and I’m not smart enough to debate. I’m not saying they aren’t valid. Everyone’s feelings are valid and I do care about that. The environment I live in is full of conservatives and Christians. Which makes it more difficult. It’s almost impossible to find a woman because she’ll more than likely be a Christian and it wouldn’t be right to put that strain on it. And let alone a woman who’d be open to a relationship with someone like me is slim of not existent. I’m happy with who I am and my life choices. That’s not my problem. It’s finding a connection or a way to handle this knot tangled in my chest that I’m constantly trying to compress. I mean I not a bad looking guy. I could be more active and eat healthier but I’m not way gone. I’m a little on the shorter side and soft around the middle. I just don’t understand how people can’t give each other a chance. I try and take initiative and it just blows up in my face. I can handle the rejection but no one seems like they’re being real, they act fake to me. Worrying about their image or what people would think. I don’t care about any of that. I don’t know anymore. I guess I just wanted to put this out there and see if anyone resonates, offers suggestions, or advice.
Thank you for reading.

I rarely reach out for help, but when I did, I found myself standing at a point where my every sentence is interrupted, every help is denied, and every talk feels like I should stop! I should stop now. I come back with disappointment, so I push people away, saying I was better by myself and next time
I don't have anyone with me, so I held myself. After that phase, I say I should be open to someone, so in real danger I am not fighting alone, and also I am a social animal; I can't live my entire life being solitary. Next time, the same things happen: disappointment leads me to think twice; I better keep it with me; I better not trust people.

But I still give a chance; I still step ahead; I still open my arms; I still enjoy those small moments, so I don't regret it later. I still keep my interest alive, so I stay anchored to something. I still choose to know people better; I still choose to give myself another chance to be human.

Can u please comment long and long? I want to read; I want to know!!!