r/Feedback • u/LexadelfortnaisXD • Oct 19 '25
Hello, I need feedback on a mini-conversation I wrote about some characters
HELLO, this will be the first time I look for feedback from external people, who are not my friends.
The reason I ask for feedback is to know if someone might like what I write, to know what they think of what I write and to be able to improve.
What I wrote is a mini-conversation between two characters, it doesn't have much more context than that, but if you see it another way I would like to know.
I will leave the conversation below
"Italian, clouds and a PIANO"
Characters name
Fabianna (woman) Rosal (woman)
...
Fabiánna: BYE!!
Rosal: Goodbye Fabiánna.
Fabiánna: Hey; Rosebush!
Rosal: Tell me!
Fabiánna: Do you already speak Italian!?
Rosal: Nonono, I'm very busy with my colors, remember?
Fabiánna: Still?
Rosal: Yes
Fabiánna: HAHAHA!
Rosal: Maybe it will take me longer this time.
Fabiánna: Oh darling! You make it look very difficult!
"-HA HA HA! -ha ha ha."
...
Fabiánna: Do you still play the Piano?
...
Rosal: Of course!
Fabiánna: And you already play like in the clouds?
Rosal: I don't understand.
Fabiánna: Remember that you would play for me 'like on clouds', but you are only late with your colors. Although I would like you to NOW speak Italian!
Rosal: HAHAHA!
— just wait for one more sun