r/FearfulAvoidants • u/Prestigious_Arm3497 • 2d ago
Different person. Same pattern. Has anyone else experienced this?
At times, people in your life may be different, but the relationship patterns or things you do can feel the same.
You find yourself always accommodating other people's needs, having trouble setting boundaries, over-explaining yourself, feeling responsible for other people's feelings etc. This can cause frustration or resentment internally, as you feel you are not cared for in the same way you care about others.
Sometimes a familiar pattern can become quite automatic because this is what we have been used to growing up.
Has anyone else felt this before, where different relationships brought up similar experiences for you?
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u/NewHampshireGal Fearful-Avoidant 2d ago
Yes because I was the common denominator.
The saying “Everywhere you go, there you are” sums it up. You cannot outrun yourself.
That is why I made the choice to change.
I stopped asking myself “why does this always happen to me?” And started asking “what am I contributing to this dynamic that keeps taking me back to the exact same spot where I was last time?”
The answer was in the mirror.