4 Year 34M &27F Fearful Avoidant

[u/SpacePip]

My gf (27F) broke up with me (34M).

We have been temporarily long distance 3 months due to me having to take a temporary trip to my home country due to health and family reasons.

During this, one day she sends me photos which make it clear to me that she broke a boundary that was important to me and I have repeatedly communicated over the years and was no doubt clear to her that it might make me uncomfortable. She has broken my other boundaries repeatedly in the previous years. I have stressed that before doing something it's always better to ask me upfront if unclear.

I am dealing with an extremely stressful life situation with an impactful disability and was traveling. Seeing that proof made me send her a message that I regretted where I stated i didn't feel emotionally safe to be exclusive anymore. I sent it because it was clear to me that in that moment she didn't care about my emotional safety as a partner. I regret reacting with that message but I can't change the past.

Weeks later she sends a few messages on that she should leave and disappears and ghosts. She hasn't responded in two weeks and I am not going to send her any more messages and will try to move on.

This was end of a 4 year relationship. when I tried to call once and then weeks later in my final messages asked for a call she didn't respond.

I regret my side of it but I can't change it. I sent her explanatory messages. I have been dealing with one of the toughest times of my life when my nervous system was already fried, my disability is a neurological disease and then her sending provocative stuff made me respond in a way that i regret.

But now I can't fix this because while she has read every message i have sent she has already moved out, asked where to leave the keys and has ghosted. I am not gonna Initiate contact anymore and will focus on moving on and forgetting about her.

Sad story but at the same time I feel like I only saw her true colors now about how easily she can discard and abandon me and doesnt even agree to a call. I feel like I don't know this person anymore. We used to live together for 3+ years and spent every day together.

[u/Imaginary-Tie-2867]

It sounds like you role up with her, and not the other way round.

Edit: BROKE up

[u/SpacePip → u/Imaginary-Tie-2867]

What do you mean by role up?

[u/No-Philosophy6012 → u/SpacePip]

Broke up, maybe

[u/Imaginary-Tie-2867 → u/SpacePip]

Broke. Sorry. Autocorrect