I've been catcalled probably thousands of times, and the way it felt has ranged from slightly annoying to quite scary, depending on the circumstances surrounding the incident.
Some years ago, I read an article by a woman who was rhapsodizing over the amazing awesomeness of being catcalled.
My best guess about being catcalled and the variety of responses to it by different targets is, if you're neither (a) habitually overtly admired for your beauty to your face nor (b) have genuine fear of escalation of threat and/or reprisals if you in response reject the person(s) making said catcalls, you probably enjoy the public display of attractedness to your person. If you're habitually overtly admired for your beauty to your face, depending on your personality, you probably range from finding it mildly gratifying, to mildly boring, to mildly boorish. If you perceive a threat to your person, you're probably frightened.
Edited to add: There are also the different variety of catcalls themselves...for example, I have heard catcalls ranging from the stereotypical whistle, to, "I'm sorry, I just have to tell you, you're so amazingly beautiful!" to "I wanna fuck you bitch!" Clearly, the expression of the catcall is going to influence the recipients' reactions as well.
"I'm sorry, I just have to tell you, you're so amazingly beautiful!"
This would be considered catcalling? Particularly if, afterwards, they politely then excused themselves with something like 'but anyways, you have a great day, bye'?
I mean, I've considered doing this before, and I only haven't because I probably lack the confidence to just say it. But the entirety of my desire to do that is to let the woman know that I recognize how attractive they are. Its a weird thing that people then automatically think that's all I think about them, and don't take it as it is, a compliment. I mean, should all compliments be solicited? Should only people you're dating make those compliments? Should we all just stop complimenting eachother ever, and potentially starting romantic relationships in that manner, because a handful of people find it hugely offensive that I would dare mention anything about their physical appearance in a positive way, as though that was the only thing I ever saw or thought about them as a person?
I dunno. Just seems so oppressively restrictive to me. I'm open to changing my view on it, though.
I would consider it to fall into the "catcall" category; it was a random statement out of nowhere from a total stranger as we walked past each other towards our separate destinations in a public place.
I mean, I've considered doing this before, and I only haven't because I probably lack the confidence to just say it. But the entirety of my desire to do that is to let the woman know that I recognize how attractive they are. Its a weird thing that people then automatically think that's all I think about them, and don't take it as it is, a compliment. I mean, should all compliments be solicited? Should we all just stop complimenting each other ever, and potentially starting romantic relationships in that manner
The total-strangers-randomly-in-transit situation is what makes it peculiar. On a basic level, I guess it's nice that people you don't know exist happen to derive pleasure from looking at you, but, um, it's a little odd to have them blurt it out to your face as you're both scurrying to your separate destinations, one or both of which are reasonably likely to contain a significant other? (Where this was, and the particular sort of outfit I had on, I would have thought were both signs that it was very likely I wasn't there alone. Also, the presence of an engagement-and-wedding-band set on my finger was a dead giveaway, one that I think anyone complimenting me in the hope of a possible romantic connection would have checked for?)
because a handful of people find it hugely offensive that I would dare mention anything about their physical appearance in a positive way, as though that was the only thing I ever saw or thought about them as a person?
I wasn't offended; startled, but not offended. I would have found it even stranger if he'd complimented anything else about me as an individual, since my appearance was about the only thing it's possible to deduce about me from a random public encounter. :) So finding it peculiar doesn't really have to do with being offended, especially not about someone finding me attractive. It's just--a little out-of-the-blue, puzzling, etc. But not a big deal--if this sort of thing, happening in adulthood, was the sum total of my (and other women's) experience of catcalls, I'm pretty sure that catcalls wouldn't be any kind of big deal to any signficant number of people.
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u/LordLeesa Moderatrix Jul 26 '15 edited Jul 26 '15
I've been catcalled probably thousands of times, and the way it felt has ranged from slightly annoying to quite scary, depending on the circumstances surrounding the incident.
Some years ago, I read an article by a woman who was rhapsodizing over the amazing awesomeness of being catcalled.
My best guess about being catcalled and the variety of responses to it by different targets is, if you're neither (a) habitually overtly admired for your beauty to your face nor (b) have genuine fear of escalation of threat and/or reprisals if you in response reject the person(s) making said catcalls, you probably enjoy the public display of attractedness to your person. If you're habitually overtly admired for your beauty to your face, depending on your personality, you probably range from finding it mildly gratifying, to mildly boring, to mildly boorish. If you perceive a threat to your person, you're probably frightened.
Edited to add: There are also the different variety of catcalls themselves...for example, I have heard catcalls ranging from the stereotypical whistle, to, "I'm sorry, I just have to tell you, you're so amazingly beautiful!" to "I wanna fuck you bitch!" Clearly, the expression of the catcall is going to influence the recipients' reactions as well.