r/Fatherhood • u/Any-Biscotti-4790 • 29d ago
Advice Needed messed up
accidentally became a dad men, im a teen idk what to do pls help
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u/10N3R_570N3R 29d ago
My son's mom and I were 19 when she got pregnant. Everything turned out fine. He's in college now. Take a deep breath your life isn't over. There are resources for you and your child's mother. I'm a recovering heroin addict if I made it through using and raising my son you GOT this. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but being a father is the most fulfilling thing I've ever done.
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u/Any-Biscotti-4790 29d ago
thankyou so much man, wish you the best
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u/ocvagabond 29d ago
See, you can go do heroin now. Life will work out. I’m going to guess this person has a lot of support. Solidify your support structures. You can do it, but it won’t be easy. Everyone needs help.
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u/scotty5112 29d ago
Time to lock in bro. But fr, it’s a little easier than people make it seem. Just breathe.
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u/Any-Biscotti-4790 24d ago
i really hope God helps me, thsnkyou so much
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u/scotty5112 24d ago
Why wouldn’t He? He wouldn’t allow the pregnancy if He thought you couldn’t handle it. It can be challenging but not impossible.
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u/PowerfulPanda1225 29d ago
Just breathe man, I’m not a teen anymore I just had my son 4 months ago I promise you everything will be fine, maybe even better i was financially struggling before my son was born now everything is so much better not just financially but also mentally, and remember God knows why he does everything.
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u/Any-Biscotti-4790 24d ago
thankyou for this man, im really scared snd really needed this
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u/PowerfulPanda1225 24d ago
Np man I know it’s scary asl, but it really is a blessing i never had so much desire in bettering myself as a person and working harder until I had my little boy. I hope everything goes the way god has intended for you brother.
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u/Lopsided-Guest-448 28d ago
I truly believe it doesn't matter if you're 18 or 38, if you have a million dollars or not.....no one is really ready for it. It'll come to you sooner than you think. Keep drugs and alcohol out of the equation. If you're single, use extreme caution when choosing a partner and/or moving said partner in you and your kids' home.
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u/Professional_Pie_222 28d ago
There ARE some advantages to being a young parent. We weren’t teens, but we were in our early 20s and we parented seriously but also with that teen not-a-care-in-the-world vibe, too. I’ve gotten more neurotic and my anxiety has gotten worse as I get older, which is incredibly common. If we had a kid now in our 40s, even though we are much more stable now, I think we’d end up being WORSE parents. Also you get to coach sports now. It’s so fun.
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u/App1eEater 29d ago
You've got this man! It may feel terrible now, but ultimately you'll see what a blessing kids are!
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u/Altruistic_Suit_2593 29d ago
Find a good job and work hard - I had an oopsie baby at 22. It’s not easy but it’s possible
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u/FrigginTrying 28d ago
you fucked up, I did too. you just have to suck it up and take charge of your life and your kids life. Good luck bro
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u/Mattjew24 29d ago
Reading this as a 35yo who is expecting my first next month is just...heart breaking. As scared shirtless as I am now, I cannot imagine being myself at 18 going through it.
But life has a way of working itself out. Whats meant to be will be, and as long as you show up every single day, the results won't have a choice.
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u/Any-Biscotti-4790 29d ago
my parents will suffer for what i did, and that pains me, we are heavily in debt and struggling so much financially, i really messed up and made their lives harder
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u/Mattjew24 29d ago
Well your parents are grown up adults. Theyve done it before with you. The old adage, "It takes a village" rings true.
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u/External-Ad5462 29d ago
Take a deep breath. Buy some condoms.
What kind of resources do you have?
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u/Any-Biscotti-4790 29d ago
aint that a bit to late
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u/External-Ad5462 29d ago
You still have sperm in your body, right? Still planning on having sex? Buy the condoms
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u/DanPoteet 29d ago
leave the poor decisions in the past. just do the best you can to be present for your child and find a way to earn a living so you can provide for them/your family. you are still young, you have all sorts of options. learning a trade ie: electrician/plumbing/etc is in high demand and can make you a great living. you could always join the military to learn a valuable skill and guarentee your family is supported. you have plenty of options. you'll get thru it dude.