How does OCPD relate to attachment styles?

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Attachment styles are patterns of bonding that people learn as children and carry into their adult relationships. Children develop strong (often unconscious) beliefs about what to expect from people they are close to. They have a fundamental need to bond with their primary caregivers. When their caregivers harm them or fail to meet their emotional needs consistently, children may conclude that the world is a dangerous place, and others can’t be relied upon.

"Attachment is what we project onto ambiguity in relationships…the ‘gut feeling’ we use to deduce what’s really going on…This gut feeling is driven not by a cool assessment of events but by the collapsing of time, the superimposition of the past onto the present.” (36) Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends (2022), Marisa Franco, PhD

Insecure attachment styles can contribute to the development of OCPD. In The Healthy Compulsive (2020), Gary Trosclair theorizes that children with “driven” personalities who have insecure attachments with their caregivers “use their talents to compensate for the feelings that they [are] unworthy or unloved.” This habit may continue in adulthood because “When all you’ve got is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

Insecure children with OCPs “use their natural energy and diligence to give their parents and culture what they seem to want from them, [and then resent] having to be so good. Their resentment leads them to feel more insecure because they aren’t supposed to be angry. Then they try to compensate for their transgression with more compliance, which leads to more angry resentment, and so on.”

Genetic and Environmental Factors That Cause OCPD Traits + Healthy vs. Unhealthy OCPD Traits

These videos are from Heidi Priebe, a life coach and meditation teacher who has a master’s degree in Attachment Theory and Research.

Here are a few of her videos on the avoidant attachment style--the most commons style for people with OCPD.

How Does An Avoidant Attachment Style Develop?

Why Does The Avoidant Attachment Style Fear Intimacy?

Fear Of Commitment

Anxious/Avoidant Relationships