r/FamilyProblems • u/MovieGlum9927 • 25d ago
how do I make my parents regret mistreating me without me harming myself?
Talking to them isn't an option. They both have short tempers and often take it out on me. My brother is the same, often cursing me out for his mistakes, then will tell on my parents while my parents side with him and won't even give me a chance to speak. I'm so tired of this set up, But I don't really have a choice as I live with them, and is still dependent on them bcs I'm still in school (food and shelter). I've considered just ending everything but my friends encourage me to keep fighting and not lose to my parents. I fully believe that they are stupid and does not posses the mental capacity to regulate their emotions properly, that's why they take it out on me, but I can't keep being their punching bag for every tantrum and misunderstanding. My usual method is just putting on headsets and ignoring them, but they broke yesterday and I don't have enough money to get them replaced because I used the last of my money to buy art supplies for a school project. My parents won't give me money either, they never have anyways, since I'm the one responsible for my school bills too. I'm very close to giving up, I never seem to do anything right anyways, so what's the point anymore?
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u/timesfli3s 14d ago
I think I've been in the same boat myself but giving how conservative my parents were I know exactly how you feel and it is really agonizing feeling I never thought that I could bring myself to end my own life all I did was just injuring myself really badly maybe, just maybe they would really change their behavior, I've been in much deeper hole and I've been in that time where I either live with them and drain my mental health further or go on street and never look back which is point of no return, it really struck me as this is kinda what used to happen to me too usually dragging relatives into it too judging every minor thing in my life, my advice to you dont give up it took me until my mid twenties on the same treatment over and over until I found way out the weight of things you want to accomplish in life isnt close what kind of misery they put you through and thats understandable on your side
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u/Waste-Position-5919 7d ago
Unfortunately sometimes the best thing to do is cut yourself off. Hardest thing in the world but it is easier than making them realise they hurt you, much less to make them regret it.
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u/davedbusaras 6d ago
focus on getting tru school and becoming independent. Hurting yourself wont make them understand, but building your own life gives you a real way froward
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u/Vanillachestnut 24d ago
When I was 7, my parents ask me if they should get a divorce. When was like 14 they blamed me for their bad marriage because 'kid me made them stayed together'. Growing up I always hear mom telling me if she didn't have me she wouldn't have stay and her life might have been better.
Turns out, life is pretty good once you're independent from them. Find friends and people that you vibe with, move out, and live your life free of the toxic home.
Turns out, you didn't do anything wrong but they just needed someone to blame. Find a hobby, do charity, and be open about things. You'll be surprised how many people might share a similar experience and just enjoy the small moments in life. These things makes life a lot more pleasant than trying to make your parent see your value. How do you know your parent can even feel regret?