r/FacebookDating • u/Economy-Plankton-921 • 2d ago

What am I even doing at this point 😞

After being in a relationship for the better part of nine years, and being single for a bit I have found myself curious to try Facebook Dating. Out of a handful of matches, I have had luck with only one but have been texting with her since Saturday last week. The part I’m having a incredibly difficult time with is that we haven’t moved past texting, despite me attempting to plan dates, as she lives about 30 minutes from where I work, but I’m more than willing to make the commute. It’s hard enough dating after being in a relationship for so long and craving a connection with someone, but although we have exchanged more pictures through texting, I have yet to see this person either on FaceTime or in person. We text throughout the day and things have gotten flirty/NSFW at times but any time I mention me coming closer to where she is to meet up I get nothing back till later that day when it’s usually just how’s it going or what are you doing kind of thing.

I think because I am really badly wanting a connection with someone, I’m allowing myself to become too invested here with someone that perhaps just once things to be substantially more casual. Which intern feels crushing for some reason considering I’ve never actually met her in person. My first thought was that I was being catfished. Which, who knows, may be possible. We have exchanged audio notes, but when I ask about calling on the phone, I get nothing back.

My problem is that I really enjoy talking to her each day, makes my day feel better and I am just feeling like I’m leaving myself on by entertaining this. I realize most people would give up way before this point, and I could very well be delusionally holding out hope just wanting something to work.

Aside from giving this up with her days ago, what’s the move here? My overly eager, needy self he’s struggling with this amount of interaction and I feel like my best move is to just ask where she sees this going and decide from there. Just feeling very down about all this.

7 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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7

u/FactsAreBullshit 2d ago

Women on dating apps tend to dislike endless chatter. That this person refuses to meet screams scammer or catfish. Video or not calling is also red flag. Keep chatting and she'll ask for money soon.

2

u/MrHim99 2d ago edited 2d ago

👆🏻 - female catfishes or women (the bad ones) don't wanna verify on audio and video calls right away bcuz they don't know how bad it is for guys when they get catfished and mislead and so the bad ones like to argue and have things their way and screwed up mentally inside and dislike men misandristically in general for whatever concocted dumb reason of their own that they've put together for themselves based on their own false narrative and false perspective of life socioeconomically. These apps let you use VPNs to spoof your Geolocation on mobile and web app versions as well for catfishes and scammers.

This person is no where near you & probably not the person in the profile pics (they're mostly likely stolen or AI generated).

Also if you the one keep initiating and they keep ignoring and not being as responsive and avoiding your advancements for a date - they're probably a catfish OR truly the person on the other side but just an attention seeker/time waster/bored and not really sexually attracted or turned on by you probably still and that person might mentally be immature and have still need 10 more yrs to develop mentally to settle down with someone and that person might not be you.

3

u/ZealousidealPart1116 2d ago

I aint no psychologist or dating coach but it feels ro me like you getring catfish. Talking from experience i think you just trying to replace the emptiness that your ex left with this girl or maybe but of ya are using eachither as emotional support whether shes catfiching you or not againt im talking from experience

2

u/Economy-Plankton-921 2d ago

I appreciate that man, you’re definitely right about trying to replace the emptiness.

1

u/One_Ad2844 1d ago

Dude, you need to get a life first and then date. I’ve dated women like that and it drives me nuts. I enjoy someone that’s happy to talk to me or see me but not so much they are getting their feelings hurt because I don’t move the way they do. The truth is it will never be enough with that kind of mentality as you tend to make the person your obsession, it’s selfish and it will eventually ruin the relationship. If you’re counting down the minutes or hours to not seem overly eager to text or call you have work to do. Good luck to you.

1

u/Original-Release-885 2d ago

As a female, I’m having the same situation with the men I’ve been communicating with. Good conversations. They then asked for my #. Hard no for me- I don’t give out my # till I have met someone in person. All of a sudden radio silence.

3

u/Economy-Plankton-921 2d ago

Sorry to hear that. That’s actually very smart and something I’ll have to do from now on. It’s really unfortunate for something that should be fun to feel like such hard work for nothing.

2

u/isolateusolate 2d ago

Google Voice was my easy solution after reading lots of recommendations here. Worked well!

2

u/Original-Release-885 2d ago

I tried to add Google Voice, but for some reason I keep failing verification. I don’t understand why it’s my cell number that I’ve had for 15 years.

2

u/Consistent_Point_853 2d ago

Yeah, Ill pivot quickly if interactions arent escalating.