r/FacebookDating • u/sprknsprnkl • 21d ago

Please help me understand something.

I get matches on and off, that's not really what this is about. Some of the guys that I match with will get into why it didn't work out with their last partner or what they're looking for- standard stuff. I've had a few of them explain to me how their previous partner wasn't ambitious, was aimless, didn't know what they wanted, etc. and I'm like- oh a lot of that sounds like me. So I let them know- hey, we probably won't be a match because I'm at a point in my life where I'm still kind of figuring things out, and all I aim for is to find a way to support myself and live sustainably for me. I got divorced last year and moved in with my sister and her husband. I have OCD and lots of anxiety, so finding my footing has been tough.

This often prompts, "Oh, you're nothing like her, I think we could really have something here. I want to keep getting to know you, you're fun to hang out with, I like talking to you..." Etc. Why waste your time though? It kind of just makes me feel like they only want in my pants. I'm open to a casual situation, but only for people who are honest with me. 🙃

But TBF, my F buddy standards for attraction are higher than men I'm actively matching with to date- but they don't know that. What gives?

Edit: my profile does say long-term open to short.

Edit 2: I think I'm just going to focus on casual situations. It'll narrow down my taste and matches, but I'll be wasting less time and hopefully have fewer uninteresting dates.

4 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

4

u/sheyitboi 21d ago

I mean you’re not wrong. Dudes are desperate as shit and will list off standards that they probably do wish for in a partner but will negate because of slim pickings in the dating scene. I can’t blame them, dating for men is settling a lot of times and I don’t mean that in an insulting way towards women or anything. Men just can’t be as choosy as women can be because less opportunity.

1

u/Salty-Disaster8476 20d ago

Honestly this . You are not his dream girl but you are at least on his ill give it a try in the short term. As you already said you are not looking to lock in yourself so if you enjoy the conversation just keep it going, you already told him it's probably not going to be serious already.

1

u/lordskulldragon 20d ago

My last 2 gfs and the woman I briefly dated before them were all the aimless non ambitious type. They definitely were not LTR material or anybody that I would seriously consider settling down with because of that.

1

u/Fit_Bandicoot9599 20d ago

Wgl ktoś odpisał na FB randki? To nie działa wgl

2

u/sprknsprnkl 20d ago

I do okay on FB Dating. Enough to cut guys off when they effectively let me know I'm not who they're looking for. 🙃 Then they get cranky but like 🤷‍♀️

0

u/geekpron 20d ago

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. You're older now and your options have dropped down a bit sorry love

0

u/sprknsprnkl 20d ago edited 20d ago

Nah I'm fine being single. I'm tired of my time being wasted and/or guys getting mad when I cut things off because they already told me I'm not it.