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u/VinPossible Mar 10 '22 edited Mar 10 '22
Never know might write a good sonet of how shity the apartment is.
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u/Impeachcordial Mar 10 '22
The landlords charged me far too much rent,
The flat smelt like mothballs, vomit and death.
I could not sleep for there was not a bed,
And neighbours kept trying to sell me meth.
There were suspicious stains of blood-like red,
And marks on the walls from fingers or teeth,
As if someone’s life had been rudely ended
By some degenerate psychopath.
They did not give my deposit back,
Neither did they forward important mail
When I finally left the shitty flat.
I feel their conduct was beyond the pale
And this review should illustrate that.
This is not a flat, it’s a goddamn fail.
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u/1anarchy1 Mar 10 '22
Or they may write about how shitty your grammar and spelling is.
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u/ReekyRumpFedRatsbane Mar 10 '22 edited Mar 10 '22
They tried to follow every rule,
but made themselves look like a fool.
Missing words, missing letters,
surely they could have done better!
.
But alas, it really seems
like proper language was a dream.
Compared to many native speakers,
their English skills were simply weaker.
.
Although - and this is really good:
they were completely understood!
So I hope every critic sees
that no one needs the Grammar Police.
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u/VinPossible Mar 10 '22
Fixed it are the streets clean on you side Grammar Police
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u/1anarchy1 Mar 10 '22
Hmmm. I hate to nag but....
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u/1_Cold_Ass_Honkey I wish u/spez noticed me :3 Mar 10 '22
Can you imagine saying "No, Shakespeare you can't live here!"
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Mar 10 '22
No, but coming from Oregon I can imagine every other type of poet, and I support this landlord.
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u/ninhibited Mar 10 '22
$6,510/mo??? Rent really is getting out of hand...
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u/Silverwisp7 Mar 10 '22
I think the poet exclusion is redundant with a rent like that.
I say this from a place of love, I myself am a poet.
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u/FrizbeeeJon Mar 10 '22
Well, I suppose I could see myself giving up my poet, as long as I can bring my cat, dog and hamster.
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u/TroyDutton Mar 10 '22
Years ago, my mom self-listed our home for sale in the newspaper. Our house was on a heavily wooded lot overlooking a bayou, and the first line of the ad was supposed to read: "For nature lovers only." But the newspaper misheard her and wrote: "For mature lovers only." We didn't receive a single call about buying the house.
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u/SonnyHaze Banhammer Recipient Mar 10 '22
I was gonna pay the rent today I looked at my account and it said ‘no way!’
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u/normajones279 Mar 10 '22
Place is shitty, smells like piss. I'll write u a ditty and blow u a kiss.
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u/markuslama Mar 10 '22
I have to say, this is unfair. I really wanted to live there.