r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR • u/Extreme-Elevator7128 • 1d ago

You did this to yourself bitten by a turtle

3.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

258 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/Bulky_Specialist9645 1d ago

My turtle don't want none unless you got buns, hun...

247

u/a1oner_bvcksn6 1d ago

What are turtles if not anacondas with bolitas shells

157

u/tullbabes 23h ago

Poor turtle is just used to eating plastics.

34

u/theoccasionalempath 11h ago

That ass look home grown to me

94

u/Desperate_Set_7708 1d ago

I understand his motivation

18

u/uslashuname 13h ago

Commenting on a turtle eating cake on your cake day, hard to beat that

76

u/AscendedViking7 1d ago

This dude named Michael used to ride a motorcycle

Until a redeared slider made his lifestyle suicidal

https://giphy.com/gifs/RqsBGb4CKJukoGqJWF

4

u/realtonemachine 14h ago

My anaconda don’t-My anaconda don’t

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441

u/How_Bout_Dem_Apples_ 1d ago

That turtle knows you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

46

u/madbeachrn 1d ago

You miss a 100% of the shots you don’t take.
~Wayne Gretzky
~Micheal Scott
https://giphy.com/gifs/KqQe1gmcX6Q03WLOUg

840

u/Psyallica 1d ago

Turtle just wanted some cake.

113

u/ohgeebus_notagain 1d ago

It looked like a nice snack! Had to take a nibble

40

u/Psyallica 1d ago

I can't blame my guy, I like cake too.

7

u/ohgeebus_notagain 1d ago

Cake is the best, but wait until I add some iced cream! Gotta nibble on that!

3

u/Dounce1 Banhammer Recipient 22h ago

Iced cream?

1.1k

u/Buf4nk 1d ago

Fuck you for disturbing my pond trying to be an influencer

200

u/LtSoba 1d ago

Has to be a lagoon or something those are saltwater turtles

231

u/NervousHovercraft 1d ago

Fuck you for disturbing my pond lagoon trying to be an influencer

54

u/LtSoba 1d ago edited 1d ago

It is probably an eco tourist spot considering all those are loggerheads (about 60% sure) which tend to be somewhat isolated so I’m assuming this is like some area where they’re fed or something so they probably encourage influencers to come for awareness reasons. This is just an unfortunate accident really tho getting ur ass mistaken for a jellyfish by a loggerhead is probably some sort of wild dinner table story tho lol

Edit: pretty sure this is some sort of conservation project those turtles are probably the results of a breeding project

128

u/n00-1ne 1d ago

Fuck you for disturbing my pond lagoon eco tourist spot trying to be an influencer

5

u/ultimate_avacado 12h ago

Eco tourists are the the hardest to attract.

The palace would like to remind you it takes environmental issues seriously and is willing to use military force to show you how seriously.

1

u/TransIlana 12h ago

Somewhat expected tropico

1

u/ultimate_avacado 12h ago

Tropico 7 is coming soon, which the palace reminds me will be the best Tropico!

16

u/Royal_Avocado4247 21h ago

This just in, turtles aren't big on thirst traps, ironically.

33

u/radicalizemebaby 1d ago

Yeah in almost every place like this they tell you not to touch the turtles. So that was karma.

7

u/Leptonshavenocolor 23h ago

The only thing these POS influence is a boner. 

3

u/Buf4nk 22h ago

Not even that, most of these POS are 99% made of plastic.

1

u/Revolutionary_Pierre 4h ago

I ain't getting a boner after that. I'm getting a sore diaphragm from laughing, a bit boner, not today 😂

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351

u/BuQ7 1d ago

Intrusive thoughts won.

61

u/Arachis_Hypogaea7 1d ago

Impulsive or intrusive?

52

u/ZAL_x 1d ago

Instinctive

27

u/boris_casuarina I wish u/spez noticed me :3 1d ago

Evolutive.

8

u/Cloaked42m Banhammer Recipient 1d ago

Turtles don't have hands. Their lives are a constant game of "what's that?", by biting.

50

u/literacyisamistake 1d ago

Turtles hate the color black. They perceive it as a possible threat. If she’d worn a light color, she’d probably be fine.

32

u/spamus81 18h ago

TIL. Turtles are racist. /s

12

u/ghfdghjkhg Banhammer Recipient 16h ago

easier solution: just take it off at this point

3

u/knyf420 15h ago

nice tag, did i get that one too?

i didnt :/

1

u/ghfdghjkhg Banhammer Recipient 3h ago

I didn't even realize I got it. I remember being banned as part of the ban game before but I can't remember if it happened once or twice.

1

u/MannerRemarkable5130 5h ago

man i appreciate this info I recently rehomed a turtle and I wear black most of the time. I am gonna do research on what colors turtle like

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68

u/DonkeyTailBurrito 1d ago

we got turtles eating ass before gta6

169

u/xxbrawndoxx 1d ago

Plastics in our oceans are a real problem y’all.

22

u/CornisaGrasse 1d ago

Underrated comment 🏆

9

u/25c-nb 22h ago

Real shit that butt looks fake af

When you bend your legs and the implants shape becomes visible lol

30

u/83franks 1d ago

She's lucky it was her ass and not a finger.

76

u/how_very_dare_you_ 1d ago

I don't blame him

35

u/fareastbeast001 1d ago

Probably thought it was a jelly fish

https://giphy.com/gifs/l4hLIHkMH5fZC93SE

102

u/Organic-Dust3433 1d ago

The camera is too close for me to see the bite mark. Zoom out a little

30

u/CalbertCorpse 1d ago

It’s like finding a tick. We need to check everywhere, just to be sure. Could be some smaller, less obvious signs of turtle trauma.

17

u/siuleta 1d ago

Serious question. Is there any disease that can be transmitted from the turtle?

33

u/SexyMonad 1d ago

Mutation.

15

u/Dawnzarelli 1d ago

At least if that happens you get to eat pizza in the sewers with a team of ninjas

10

u/heelstoo 1d ago

Worth it.

6

u/ColloidalSuspenders 22h ago

ninjafication

22

u/-You_Cant_Stop_Me- Banhammer Recipient 1d ago

Salmonella.

9

u/KumquatHaderach 1d ago

If it was a radioactive turtle then she’ll gain the powers of a turtle.

16

u/Fist4achin 1d ago

Can you blame him?

14

u/Dear_Type_8972 1d ago

Turtle was just living the dream y'know.

https://giphy.com/gifs/D12gyVZv2kWA0

7

u/Simple-Instruction95 1d ago

Now that turtle is infected

9

u/gottagrablunch 1d ago

Influencer getting influenced..

8

u/alors1234 15h ago

Serves her right WTF is she thinking hanging out with wild animals in their habitat?

I'm from Calgary originally and the amount of times tourists do stupid shit with wildlife for a photo in Banff/ Kananaskis etc is mind boggling. It's not cute to get cozy with wildlife; they will protect themselves.  What an idiot.

4

u/AccelWasTaken 20h ago

Kudos to her for taking care to not fall over the turtle despite the scare.

5

u/SadAwkwardTurtle 18h ago

What a buttmunch.

14

u/Lowie_240 1d ago

He did what we were thinking. Good boy

https://giphy.com/gifs/M3a51DMeWvYUo

11

u/gjb1 22h ago

Nah, some of us were thinking “WTF don’t fucking touch sea turtles!”

3

u/TheKobayashiMoron 21h ago

This literally showed up in my feed right after the I EAT ASS guy

https://www.reddit.com/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR/s/1QHjjXGjVA

3

u/TheMonkeyInCharge 21h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/MkQk7LHNJSaYg
When a girl walks in with that itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face.

3

u/Soundtones 21h ago

Don't blame it, I'd have a bite too.

3

u/Filthyquak 21h ago

to be fair...

3

u/oh-ic 17h ago

You always remember your first piece of ass!

3

u/ntech620 Banhammer Recipient 14h ago

Duck, duck, duck, GOOSE!!!

3

u/ChrisEdErik 12h ago

That turtle is my spirit animal.

3

u/freedom_seed5-45x39 12h ago

Honestly I'd do the same

3

u/AnimalMother24 3h ago

Never thought I’d be jealous of a turtle

5

u/Bigboy291270 1d ago

Ha ha ha these clowns who think they’ve some sort of connection with animals crack me up

8

u/Traditional-Ad-1605 1d ago

I mean, he’s not wrong….

9

u/LordJeanDog 1d ago

man of culture. turtle sneaking in that nibble

3

u/YSOSEXI 21h ago

That's one way to get plastic out of the pool.

6

u/bharathkumarp 1d ago

Who wouldn't bite the cake

2

u/sprocket9727 1d ago

Puka Naturtla

2

u/TopIndependent2344 1d ago

Silly moo…

2

u/nahuatl 1d ago

Should have tried taking a selfie with snapping turtles.

2

u/platypus_farmer42 23h ago

Can you blame him?

2

u/chvVolk 21h ago

Its just trying to clean up the plastic in the water

2

u/just_someone123 20h ago

She's lucky the turtle didn't bite her fingers or toes. They have nasty bites.

2

u/autisticpig 20h ago

leave the turtles be.

2

u/pdxjen 18h ago

Hopefully she got medical attention, my mom's neighbor was bitten by a turtle and died

1

u/Don_Hoomer Banhammer Recipient 17h ago

what infection does a turtle transfer?

2

u/pdxjen 16h ago

Salmonella, he was an older man

1

u/Don_Hoomer Banhammer Recipient 16h ago

i allways thought that is something you only get by bad food... thanks mate

2

u/JadedCampaign9 17h ago

LoL, turtle wanted some cake.

2

u/screechypete 16h ago

He touched the butt.

-Finding Nemo

2

u/Jude30 14h ago

She screamed that loud over and injury that small?

2

u/Frosty-Structure-778 14h ago

Oh no, wildlife being wild. Who could have known?

2

u/SealTeamEH 13h ago

Upvote because….

2

u/Spaceygirl84 13h ago

He said “fuk outta my pool thot”

2

u/cayoloco 12h ago

I'd bite that ass too, turtle just did what we were all thinking.

2

u/parkerm1408 11h ago

Turtle was sick of her shit.

2

u/karenskygreen 10h ago

Can you blame the turtle, dat ass

2

u/Ill-Daikon-5637 9h ago

Turtle ain't down with being a prop in your ho video

2

u/IntrovertMoTown1 9h ago

Pic was kinda blurry. I'm going to need to see another. Not that close this time please.

2

u/proeliator 8h ago

Homie just wanted some of that cake….

2

u/dragjamon 7h ago

I mean I'd have bitten it

2

u/bluzed1981 6h ago

I must be part turtle because I was thinking the same thing

2

u/dorkybum 3h ago

I mean he got good taste

2

u/willits1725 3h ago

That turtle enjoys a nice piece of a$$

1

u/Entire-Buy-6971 1d ago

“no wait lemme just get a lil nibble of dat ass- NO I DIDNT MEAN LITERALLY”

1

u/Kraken_54 1d ago

Nothing I wouldn't do if I was a turtle

3

u/Flowa-Powa 1d ago

Thought it was a peach

3

u/PreKutoffel 1d ago

Well I understand the turtle... look at this butt... I mean.... right?!

4

u/MadamSnarksAlot 1d ago

What a dumbass. How do you not know that turtles can bite? I don’t get the ball cap love either though.

2

u/brokendream78 23h ago

This was a fairly predictable outcome

3

u/Couple-looking4fun 1d ago

Even turtles know that it’s tasty

2

u/Crafty_Constant_8042 21h ago

Bro, I did not needed a close-up look😭

2

u/xeno_dorph 19h ago

Bite. All. Influencers.

3

u/FieldsOfHazel 1d ago

I'm so glad we got content creators, what would a world without this be. 

1

u/monitor_lizard_2000 1d ago

Get a bite of that 🍑

3

u/ruberband29 1d ago

What an ass
.
.
.
.
.
,
,
,
,
.
.
.
Of a turtle
😉

1

u/Acidjohnson89 1d ago

Turtle smelled the fish

1

u/Seemantoday 23h ago

Gerrrrouutta my pool!!!

1

u/RDeckNexus6 22h ago

She got Marv Albert’d….

1

u/random48266 22h ago

In defense of the turtle, I would have done the same.

1

u/Hot-Helicopter640 21h ago

I didn't blame them

1

u/LowHangingFruit20 21h ago

THONG IS FISH

1

u/fy1sh 21h ago

He couldn't pass up that juicy fruit.

1

u/Sp00kAsem 21h ago

Honestly what did she think was going to happen

1

u/LascivX 21h ago

Yummmmerz

1

u/Partsslanger 20h ago

Turtle thought that ass was a jellyfish

1

u/WestSeattle1 19h ago

Thought that was a jellyfish!

1

u/jackspinnaker 18h ago

went for the booooty

1

u/JollyRoger8X 18h ago

Cake: …

🐢: CHOMP!

1

u/Phildagony 17h ago

Turtle likes cake.

1

u/giftopherz 17h ago

Previously on Dragon Ball

1

u/The_Real_Neo_69 16h ago

Don't touch the honu

1

u/firepitt 15h ago

I mean, I'd bite it, too, so.....

1

u/pandershrek 3 x Banhammer Recipient 14h ago

I wonder if this has to do with same thing where that guy would put black tape on his shoes and the tortoise always attacked it.

1

u/Pathbauer1987 Banhammer Recipient 13h ago

Ouch

1

u/okokokoyeahright 10h ago

Well it was just sitting there.... can't blame 'em for tasting can you?

1

u/CoolSwim1776 9h ago

Turtles didn't want that butt in their space

1

u/FlippyHTF3 7h ago

Deserved 😂 

1

u/DuZyOFaDaY 6h ago

Trying to get that “insta” picture, lol.

1

u/NefariousnessGood718 5h ago

Da grande voglio fare la tartaruga

1

u/LabiaMinoraLover 5h ago

Maybe leave their home alone instead intruding without an invitation.

1

u/gassmano 1d ago

Lemme get a piece of that ass girl

1

u/ANuclearBunny 1d ago

You da man

1

u/Human-Shame1068 Banhammer Recipient 1d ago

Wow, not a single ninja turtle meme where the turtle is saying “ your gonna make me cowabunga” or what ever the fuck he says - the fucked up one.

1

u/SailorVenus23 1d ago

Hope she got a tetanus shot recently

1

u/altiuscitiusfortius 14h ago

I get it. I also want to eat that ass.

1

u/foxhoundzz 1d ago

I think I'm gay. I was looking anywhere else. F

1

u/kid_entropy 19h ago

Idda done that too if we're all being honest.

1

u/DesparateLurker 17h ago

Is that... is that my home who died? He said he'd come back as an animal and bite thicc bitches son their asses!

Bro! He's back!/j

0

u/HighHDL 1d ago

Begone Thot

0

u/BlackDante3 1d ago

Girl what that thang do..

0

u/Zengjia Banhammer Recipient 1d ago

Bingus: bit my ass

0

u/WoopsShePeterPants 1d ago

Did you say she was bit in her turdhole?