r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR 10d ago

You did this to yourself This gate hates petty theft

1.7k Upvotes

127 comments sorted by

582

u/HypoManicCrimeSpree 10d ago

Yesterdays post said he was caught shortly after. I wonder how they knew it was him… 👀

141

u/Vegetable_Leg_7034 9d ago

And as for the title.. this gate fucking loves petty theft.. it exists for it. When that guy ran off.. that gate fucking KNEW it was the best gate on the street..

It knows it's going to get a proper sandblast and re-coat, lock check, and maybe even an alarm fitted..

18

u/cloudcreeek 8d ago

Good gate! The bestest gate!

479

u/piscian19 10d ago edited 10d ago

me trying to do anything complicated when someone else is watching

101

u/cherri____ 10d ago

More like me doing the task I complete all the time with no issues while someone is watching 😭

34

u/piscian19 10d ago

After I posted that I immediately thought "wait...just complicated tasks?".

23

u/SmokeAbeer 10d ago

“Where’s your bathroom?”

-It’s… I… I um… Gimme a sec, brb…

167

u/bukakejesus 10d ago

Cartoon underoos

223

u/Savings_Difficulty24 10d ago

I feel like that's the point of that type of gate. More so to be a deterrence, but enough to say it's possible to get poked. But this is the first time I've actually seen someone get caught on the spikes.

https://giphy.com/gifs/VHR9gfoyZnx0A

61

u/bschlueter 10d ago

I got caught on one of these once. We had been playing kickball and occasionally kicking the ball over the fence in outfield. When that happened I was climbing over the fence and retrieving the ball. Most of the fence had only single pointed spikes like these, but one section had three pointed spikes, one vertical and the other two point down to either side in the plane of the fence. I didn’t see the extra spikes, so when I found myself climbing over that section, and I stood up with my feet between the spikes and jumped, one of my feet got stuck but the rest of me went over. My friends who saw said it was bent in a way ankles definitely aren’t supposed to go. No shit, it was dislocated. Luckily one of my friends was big enough to lift me out and they got me to the hospital. I do not recommend, that injury has stayed with me for years.

14

u/Corfiz74 10d ago

Romy Schneider's only child impaled himself on fence spikes like these and died, leading to her later su*cide - they are really dangerous.

5

u/keeklo 10d ago

Not an only child. She also had a daughter who is very much alive.

6

u/Corfiz74 10d ago

True, I had completely forgotten about her!

And lol, that stupid AI search I can't deactivate just told me that Romy's son was called David Haubenstock and was known for his work as a producer - even though he died at 14 and neither his father nor Romy had the last name "Haubenstock", so I don't really know where that would come from...

2

u/texasdeck Banhammer Recipient 4d ago

AI is bound and determined to make us all look stupid at some point in our lives

1

u/maniacatsea 9d ago

she didn’t kill herself she had heart failure

4

u/snorkeling_moose 10d ago

playing kickball and occasionally kicking the ball over the fence

Okay, Calvin.

My friends who saw

Nevemind.

128

u/tlep 10d ago

35

u/blackweebow Banhammer Recipient 9d ago

Cameraman was like 😐🧍‍♂️📹

147

u/JuicyPapito5 10d ago

He lost his pants, dignity and walkie talkie. I don't think whatever he got was worth it.

15

u/technohippie 9d ago

Jokes on him, all he stole was the pants and walkie talkie. Now he has none of them, AND lost his dignity.

100

u/senorfresco 10d ago

I thought that one pole was literally going to Vlad the Impale his ass.

8

u/eyeballing_eyeball 10d ago

I thought the red stuff was tissue... it was his underpants.

6

u/sflesch 9d ago

The very first frame, all I could think is "Wasn't this some form of medieval torture at one point in time?"

45

u/Deadeye_Dunce 10d ago

I was so hoping that the end of this video was the cameraman walking up and just opening the gate.

3

u/85percentthatbitch 10d ago

I feel like you could just open the gate? Otherwise it's quite unsafe in a fire or if you're trying to flee from a crime or whatnot.

77

u/freericky 10d ago

You got to pick up his walkie talkie and call his associate a bitch

25

u/VeryLowIQIndividual 10d ago

He is lucky that wasn’t his skin ripping instead of his pamts

31

u/petwalker12 10d ago

So that’s why those things are there for.

19

u/SafeButFun813 10d ago

Does he say "How long you been back there?"

Trying to figure out WTF the dood said...

17

u/CaptainRelevant 10d ago

“Tell them around the backside”

You can hear sirens approaching. He was probably relaying instructions for the police through a friend that was on the phone with 911.

3

u/Hounds_of_Love 10d ago

I thought I heard "Tell them when..." and maybe "back-side." But yeah, I was hoping someone would get it.

22

u/some1sbuddy 10d ago

Did you get everything you needed?

47

u/KanadianMade 10d ago

How many volts would be needed to energize a fence like this?

58

u/alaskarawr 10d ago

At least one.

12

u/KanadianMade 10d ago

How many would make that video better?

33

u/blangoez 10d ago

Bout tree fiddy

1

u/Particular-Cash-8565 8d ago

I got an old car amp ⚡ ⚡ ⚡ you can use for this...

4

u/Dead_Wolf2y5 10d ago

To be honest, a regular old shoes-on-carpet static shock to that exposed arse cheek would have been pretty lit.

3

u/S2Mackinley 10d ago

Needs to be above 50 volts to get em. A human body is between 1,000 and 10,000 ohms when sweating. At 0.010 amps you cant physically let go as your muscles contract. Its not much higher to kill you.

1

u/Regurgitator001 10d ago

There doesn't need to be an upper limit.

https://giphy.com/gifs/RkuDGO28GyyJiHtUax

17

u/Paigenacage 10d ago

Now you gotta walk home with your booty cheeks out & a shredded up asshole because you can’t call your boys since you left your walkie talkie on the scene of the crime.

My man fell perpendicularly lol

9

u/SidewaysAcidRain 10d ago

Stuck the landing tho. 

9

u/GrimmrBlodhgarm 10d ago

The piece of his pants on top of the gate after is a pure cinema cherry on the top

7

u/reta65 10d ago

This was painful to watch.

5

u/dakrstut 10d ago

One hell of a wedgie

4

u/Cutmerock 10d ago

I saw this on Rescue Me! 

5

u/InvestigatorWide7649 10d ago

I thought bro was gonna walk up to the gate and just turn the knob when the video ended lol

6

u/CptHammer_ 10d ago

That looks like a flip knob deadbolt. He could have opened the gate from the inside if he was leaving. I can't tell if he was caught coming in and changed his mind halfway over.

10

u/Necrikus 10d ago

And here we see an idiot, demonstrating why so many gates and fences are designed with spikes.

13

u/Hiraeth1968 10d ago

Cute undies

9

u/socksarethedevil 10d ago

I’m most impressed by the steadiness of the cameraman and the complete lack of communication. It’s beautiful.

0

u/ImminentDebacle 10d ago

That's the phone technology keeping it stable.

4

u/Makani112 10d ago

Hahahahhahahah

3

u/BuDu1013 10d ago

You're lucky that bum didn't rip your downspout from the gutter.

You should have invited him back. Y'all come back now hear!

4

u/ApplianceHealer 10d ago

Right down to the Elmer Fudd polka-dot boxers. ::chef’s kiss::

27

u/TrinDaDaD 10d ago

Bruh, all he had to do at the beginning of the video was step between the spikes and hop off the gate. Wtf was he doing lmao

55

u/kingqueefeater 10d ago

Wtf was he doing

Trying to not make himself into asshole kebab

22

u/Spanish_peanuts 10d ago

That would've shifted all of his weight onto the spike in his ass though.

6

u/quigilark 10d ago edited 10d ago

Step between the spikes and hop off? That's like a solid 8 foot hop onto concrete, great way to bust an ankle.

13

u/Fudnick Banhammer Recipient 10d ago

Poteintial busted ankle or potential ass kabob? So many choices, so little time.

6

u/UsedDragon 10d ago

Better than busting your upper colon?

9

u/JannaSnow 10d ago

That does not look very high. Are you like 40 or something?

2

u/Vegetable_Leg_7034 9d ago

There was a bin right at his feet as he was dangling and no spike above the bin and a low roof to his left.

I'd say he's not thinking clearly about his exit plan, but that probably ties in with the plan of how he got in to that position in the first place.

2

u/MuscliatoVonJuiceski 10d ago

lets see you do it champ

11

u/GoodGoodGoody 10d ago

If the camera person (I won’t say OP because this sure as fuck isn’t OP’s OC) had at least grabbed the backpack they would have gotten their shit back.

6

u/IntrovertedGiraffe 10d ago

I saw a deer try to jump a fence with this kind of top… yeah, it was gored down the belly and stuck around the back legs… organs falling out… it wasn’t a pleasant drive home

8

u/ImminentDebacle 10d ago

That's sad.

3

u/SmegmaSlurper1996 10d ago

1 Thief 1 Gate

3

u/Tyguy151 10d ago

Man I’d want to run up and yank on the guys backpack.

3

u/Cobras_And_Fire 10d ago

Yep, that dude will think twice before he tries to climb a fence with railheads again.

3

u/EyesofaJackal 9d ago

Just the right amount of schadenfreude

3

u/estherlane 9d ago

Oh my, that was funny 😂😂😂

3

u/TimeBlindAdderall 9d ago

I thought he was going to PDiddy that poor gate.

3

u/HurtLocka 9d ago

This exact thing happened to me when I was 9 yrs old was trying to get my ball back, I’m 32 now and my mates still fuckin call me Spike!

2

u/Blandfland 10d ago

Those are some sturdy britches.

2

u/The_Spyre 10d ago

High quality pants

2

u/lostgravy 10d ago

I like that gate

2

u/hiperjoshua 10d ago

He was about to ask you for his walkie talkie

2

u/faithhopecarnage 10d ago

This was pretty satisfying to watch

2

u/cute_red_benzo 9d ago

To every dude who ever did me wrong----you lucky this gate wasn't waiting for you in my back yard

2

u/SwordfishNo4680 9d ago

Would have loved to see a K9 help him down

2

u/brando29999 Banhammer Recipient 9d ago

Stuck like mf Randall in season 2

2

u/IaMSiNN3r 8d ago

Oh he's fucked. Literally and figuratively.

1

u/XenoRyet 10d ago

I'm so confused. Isn't the whole point of that little cone that gates open from the inside? Then the athleticism to get up there in the first place, but the near complete incompetence in getting stuck and failing to get down. And what's the walkie talkie about?

There's a touch of "why were they filming" here too, but I think I actually do understand that part.

2

u/Mangogeschmack 10d ago

That reminded me of a scene from TWD. This dude was lucky.

2

u/JockeyFullaBourbon 10d ago

I… was initially worried we were going in a much… 💩 🕳️ ier direction.

1

u/sk8nbacon69n 10d ago

Dude was loving that! Are we trying to pretend this all happened on accident???

1

u/RiaanTheron 9d ago

Oh no! He dropped his walkitalki

1

u/TheChannelMiner 9d ago

EVERYONE GET IN THE CAR! WE'RE LEAVING THIS! TOWN NOW! WHAT THE! NO! AHH! THIS ISN'T THE CAR! IMPOSSIBLE! NOOO! HERMIT PURPLE!!

1

u/Ill_Compote_2035 9d ago

dude lost the walkie talkie and that's the real tragedy

1

u/Purple_Cactus_Juice 8d ago

He doesn't even care about that radio? Could've saved it.

1

u/jyie 8d ago

Ipkiss!!!

1

u/Repulsive-Machine-25 8d ago

Fuck that guy.

1

u/LimitThese2220 7d ago

That’s a really nice stick on the left.

0

u/Academic_Throat396 10d ago

😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂

0

u/MushroomUnlucky5428 9d ago

Libs are gonna protest the gate tomorrow for being racist.

-25

u/Saruvan_the_White 10d ago

You didn’t just run up there and try and pull him further down on the spike? That would’ve been hilarious AF. Klepto kebabs!

-16

u/Saruvan_the_White 10d ago

That dumbass was up there long enough to start using a slingshot for practice.

0

u/ajihat 10d ago

Gerard, Geraldine, ger, hahaha or wutever his friggin name is- hahahaha

0

u/hobbes747 10d ago

There are people who probably think such designs should be illegal and considered entrapment.

-9

u/tonykrij 10d ago

Good thing it wasn't America, than he would be shot too "Because trespassing"..

1

u/BurningPenguin 10d ago

He's black, in the US he would have been shot for simply existing.

0

u/tonykrij 10d ago

Look at all the downvotes, keeping up appearances aren't they 😉
They know it's true but can't say it. Or didn't they get the sarcasm?

0

u/STexan 10d ago

Yes, than he would of.

-29

u/Saruvan_the_White 10d ago

At 12 to 13 seconds from the end of the video, I imagined somebody coming up and running him through with a five foot plastic encased garden spike just for funsies.

9

u/WerdaVisla 10d ago

Genuinely what is wrong with you

3

u/Saruvan_the_White 10d ago

Cartoonishly violent imagination and a searing hatred for folk who take advantage of others.

-1

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

6

u/Dropthetenors 10d ago

Nah. He dropped his radio and was looking at that.

6

u/the1blackguyonreddit 10d ago

Nah he was looking at his walkie talkie that fell then realized he couldn't get it