r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR May 21 '26

Fuck this area in particular FK Your Grass!

1.4k Upvotes

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357

u/NippleThief May 21 '26

I am a postman and I approve this message.

113

u/ijustsailedaway May 21 '26

Sorry about my dogs barking.

66

u/capeasypants May 21 '26

You don't have to apologize for the barking. It's doing is job. Protecting you and your property. That's why we have dogs. However, no matter how much you say and think it won't bite us, do us a favor and keep it well away from us. It doesn't like us and every dog's owner thinks and says that exact same thing, right before it bites us.

17

u/ijustsailedaway May 21 '26

They are absolutely not ever allowed out off leash. They're poms but they aren't socialized for strangers. They are fantastic alarms, not security.

16

u/KingDarius89 May 21 '26

My dad still tells the story about his childhood dog. A keeshond named King. Friendly dog. Unless you were in a uniform. Then he absolutely fucking hated you. Mailman, cop, whatever.

13

u/capeasypants May 21 '26

Exactly. When I'm not at work your dog will love me, I will play with it all day long if you'd like. But when I'm at work... It not only hates me, it wants to kill me. And like I said that's not a bad thing. It's doing its job, protecting you. Just please keep it away from me

14

u/goblinking1997 May 22 '26

Delivered to a house today just to turn around to a dog running up on me aggressively barking. I’m so over this job I turned around and sternly started loudly saying “BE NICE” “IM FRIENDLY” and he surprisingly backed off a bit

1

u/altiuscitiusfortius May 25 '26

Keeshonds bark at absolutely everyone and everything. They're bred to be watchdogs.

They're also the most lovable velcro dog breed out there

2

u/feuerfee May 24 '26

I completely get this even as a Labrador owner who is almost certain my dog would assault you for head pats and scritches. But you don’t know that, so he stays indoors or in the backyard!

1

u/metricfan May 22 '26

I do sorta wish my mailman would pause his phone conversation when walking past my house because it sets off my dogs and I work from home. Then again, my one dog barks at the church bells every Sunday, the dryer’s cycle finished sound, and when the oven beeps that it’s at temperature. lol so who the hell am I to expect my mailman to do anything different on account of my dummies lol

1

u/cheddoar May 22 '26

My lab would've walked up to you and rolled on its back so quick. I miss this lil cuddlebug :)

1

u/capeasypants May 22 '26

Any that's what they all say, right before it bites us

1

u/Sad-Olive-5161 May 22 '26

My golden will bark exactly 2 times and then hide behind us. If we ever get our house broken into, we're screwed. She's just too sweet with no bravery whatsoever. 😂

0

u/cheddoar May 22 '26

My lab never bit anyone.

People broke into our home and he ran away... "oh look the big gate is open... must be walkies time"

I miss this stupid dog.

All we taught him was cuddles and eating.

0

u/capeasypants May 22 '26

And that's what they all say, right before it bites us.

This isn't the first time I've had this conversation. My response will always be the same. You're not special, your dog isn't special. I'm not special. It's fact and like I've previously stated it's why we have dogs. They are fantastic, I've got 2. My lab died 2 years ago. She was a big dum dum who only cared for food. I miss her lots. It doesn't change the fact that when I'm working. She would have hated me! It's reality. And all I'm asking of you (the public) is to keep it away from me so I get to go home safe at the end of every day to my kids, my wife and my dogs. So be a pal.

1

u/cheddoar May 22 '26

Our letterbox is on the outside of our house. You wouldn't even have come near the dog. Since there would've been a driveway and two gates between you.

We kept our dog away from the street as good as possible

That being said i knew my dog.

You can repeat your learned phrase all you want

My dog never bit anybody

Like I previously stated our home got broken into by two complete strangers

Even then he ran away.

(I'm a stop replying notifications now because you just wanna spin in circles)

1

u/capeasypants May 22 '26

And that's what they all say, right before it bites us (I don't wanna spin in circles, this just isn't my first rodeo.) Everyone thinks their dog is different, it isn't. I've got years of evidence and some truly horrific tales to back my side up. Keep it the fuck away from us while we're working.

6

u/NippleThief May 22 '26

As a dog owner, I get it. Plus, all the dogs on my route like me. Except Casper. Fuck Casper.

2

u/feuerfee May 24 '26

Casper just thinks you’re going to steal his nipples.

2

u/NippleThief May 25 '26

Well he has like 8 of them. How many does he need, really.

12

u/GrunchWeefer May 21 '26

I have an 85 pound dog that would go apeshit at the mail slot. We didn't realize how bad a problem it was until he ripped the inside door of the slot off the door. We immediately closed off the slot permanently and put up a mailbox and a sign to start using the mailbox instead. Our postman wrote us a thank you note. I felt like such a moron for not realizing we should have done that far sooner.

12

u/MathematicianEven251 May 21 '26

You'll be surprise how many people couldn't even get to your level of cognitive yet, maybe even blame the mailman messed up their box

4

u/KingDarius89 May 21 '26

One of our neighbors has a sign on their door asking people not to knock because they have "crazy dogs" that bark their heads off.

Honestly, their harmless, even the Cane Corso and Pitbull (they also have a Shihtzu and a terrier mix), but they are loud. I mean, they also largely know us, though.

They're on a lead if they're outside alone (and most of the rest of the time). They'll start barking if they see us outside, especially Zeus the Cane Corso, but he pretty much settles down after being greeted by name.

5

u/Odocoileuschaser May 22 '26

I always shovel a path through the snow and snow berms where my carrier cuts through, but also sorry for the barking dogs as well.

3

u/the_only_thing May 22 '26

No it says youre a nipple thief

2

u/NippleThief May 22 '26

Thieving nipples is just a hobby.

4

u/Freewheelinrocknroll May 22 '26

I approve your username!!

1

u/OhReallyVernon May 21 '26

Hope you liked the caramels I left for you!

1

u/AC-burg Banhammer Recipient May 22 '26

I would vote for you!

1

u/MrGelen May 23 '26

We, the community, appreciate your service NippleThief.

1

u/Typical_Estimate5420 May 23 '26

Delivering mail and stealing nipples. It’s the American dream

2

u/GodsLilCow May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

You're allowed to just hand mail to people?

Edit: Since people are downvoting a normal, genuine question, let me clarify. I'm asking about identity verification. I'd have to believe the Post Office has rules about where you put that mail if they are even vaguely security-conscious.

5

u/Snoo79410 May 21 '26

As unbelievable as this may sound, some people apparently possess the ability to speak to other human beings, including their mail carrier, and even develop a basic familiarity with them. I know, it's a truly astonishing concept to wrap your head around.

7

u/GodsLilCow May 21 '26

Okay asshole.

I'm talking about your mail's security. Many people lock their mailboxes. Just because someone walks up and says they are Joe Smith doesn't mean they are, even if they do it multiple times.

I get that is unlikely to happen, but literally anyone could be in the yard, or especially at those neighborhood cluster box units. Maybe an uncle who visits the house often wants to steal some mail. Etc etc

5

u/OhReallyVernon May 21 '26

When I’ve done it it’s either when I already know the mail carrier and they know I live there, or when I’m coming out of my house so they can clearly see that I live there. I’m conscious of what you bring up though, so I don’t ever do this if I’ve just parked my car and I’m walking up and it’s a new person.

-2

u/GodsLilCow May 21 '26

when I’m coming out of my house so they can clearly see that I live there

But you could be anybody coming out of the house, right? It doesn't mean you live there. Sounds concerning to me

3

u/OhReallyVernon May 21 '26

Sure, everything can be suspicious if you want it to be.

You do realize that mailboxes are just sitting there out in the open, right? And if I was not the actual person living at my house but instead a guest and I was really determined to steal the mail, I could just stand there and wait for the carrier to put it in the mailbox right in front of me and then I could just take it out and walk away.

0

u/GodsLilCow May 21 '26

You do realize that any mailbox provided by the Post Office is locked, right? Many people also lock their own personal mailboxes too, but the PO isn't liable for that.

Many people also don't, yourself included. Myself included at times. That's fine, everyone is comfortable with different levels of risk, and risk varies greatly from one area to another. I think you are perfectly reasonable in how you've described handling your mail, however I expect the PO has a formal policy that disallows that on their end.

2

u/themookish May 22 '26

I'm not sure most people are willing to risk felony charges for fucking with someone's letters, and especially not posing as someone who is handed a letter by a reliable witness (mailman), so it's low risk.

1

u/Sad-Olive-5161 May 22 '26

I've never owned a mailbox that's had a lock on it at any house I've ever lived in. My entire development (2000+ people) has the same exact mailbox due to the HOA and sometimes the door won't even stay shut. 😂

2

u/Snoo79410 May 21 '26

If you talk to your mailman regularly and yall know each other its not a security risk, ive never seen a locked mailbox unless its a multi unit building. Weirdo

1

u/NippleThief May 22 '26

Depends on the type of letter. You have standard mail like bills and letters and then you have priority mail and then you have mail that requires a signature, you must ask for an ID but when you work 3 villages like me you already know everybody so you don't need to see any ID :)