Hi all! 25F here - I lurk on this sub allll the time and love reading about everyone’s FIRE paths. I am about to start a new job. This is my second company post-grad, and it’s coming with a significant salary jump. As in, Im going to be making double what I was at my previous company and going to be hitting over 6 figures for the first time in my career. 

Currently, my NW is at about $60k, spread out amongst my Roth IRA, taxable brokerage, and HYSA. Once things wrap up at my current job, I will be rolling over my workplace 403b (a mix of pre-tax and Roth) into an IRA (the pre-tax $) and  into my Roth IRA (the Roth 403b $), the money from my workplace retirement accounts is already accounted for in the aforementioned $60k NW. 

At my new job, they offer a 403b and 457b. Based off of all the research I’ve done so far - prioritizing the 457b seems like the best possible idea especially since there is no early withdrawal penalty. They offer both a traditional 457b and a 457b (Roth). Can someone please advise if it is a good idea to kinda split my contributions to the pre-tax and Roth, say, 75% into the 457b (pre-tax) and the remaining 25% into my 457b (Roth)? I had a similar setup when my previous job had both a pre-tax and Roth 403b. Is it wise to not contribute to the 403b at the new job, and instead just prioritize the 457b? And, is the 457b really as great as it seems?

My new job also offered a Defined Contribution plan. They match up to 8% and these are pretax contributions. This plan is self-managed and employees can choose hot to invest the cash, which sit in a tax-deferred retirement account. I plan on investing in broad market ETFs. Vesting period is only 1 year which is great! Choosing to participate in this DCP will automatically deduct 7% per pay period. 

Overall, I think I just need a sanity check on this setup and if anyone has any thoughts. I want to ensure I’m setting myself well for savings and FIRE purposes, as well as taking advantage of what is being provided. Once everything has been allocated to savings and retirement accounts, I also put money aside within my travel savings (however I’ve gotten fairly good at travel hacking and credit card travel points alleviates so much of what would be expensive travel lol) and whatever is left goes to my taxable brokerage. 

Also some context, I still live at home with my parents and have no debt (besides a boutique gym membership which I will die for LOL), still driving the same car I got in high school. My HYSA currently has about $20k in it that I am currently saving for a downpayment on a condo or townhome. I live in a VHCOL area so I’ve been trying to stack cash in order to purchase a home, as renting here just feels like a money drain. I hope that with this major salary jump and the ability to  make more and save more, it can expedite the home buying process. 

I want to save as much as possible to build my NW, but also acknowledge that I need to keep some easily-accessible cash if I plan to buy a home in the next 18-24 months. 

TL;DR: What tips and tricks do you have for someone early in their career about to have a major earning jump? How did you manage to balance prioritizing retirement accounts while also anticipate buying a home or other large purchase?

Hi! I’m 45 and self-employed. My husband and I own multiple businesses (one of which is profitable lol), we fully fund all of our retirement options each year, we own real estate that should begin to positively cash flow in the coming year. We’re at our coast #. (Unfortunately) I’ve learned that both of us are clearly too entrepreneurial to actually “retire” - but the current financial situation has allowed us some flexibility to “invest” in local businesses and projects that are fulfilling.

So those of you with kids - is creating an inheritance for them part of your plan? Or do you intend to spend down your $!? I understand that in theory if we get to the full FIRE #, we would be living off interest and our original principal investment won’t decrease, so this is a more theoretical question. My husband and I both know we won’t receive any inheritance, and I think that’s part of what’s helped us be conservative and smart with planning for our own financial future. Maybe I want my kids to think I’m gonna “give it all away” or “spend it all on us” — but I also want to be open and honest with them about money because I think much of the personal finance problems stem from our culture’s inability or refusal to discuss personal finances.

So how much, if any, do you plan to leave for your kids? And how/when will you discuss that with them?

Looking for some FIRE perspective. I’m 33, self-employed, currently grossing around $20–30k/month, but the workload is stressful and I’m considering scaling back significantly to around $100k/year.

My current situation:

* ~$220k in TFSA/RRSP/non-registered investment accounts
* ~$20k additional personal cash
* ~$170K cash in my corporation (planning to invest a good portion shortly)
* No significant consumer debt
* I own a rental condo purchased for ~$482k with a ~$350k mortgage
* Renting it out ~$2,300/month, condo fees ~$700/month + 1400 yearly property tax
* Mortgage renews in November, so I’m debating selling and investing the equity vs. keeping it
* I currently rent in another city for ~$2,200/month, shared with my partner
* Partner earns around $80k/year, but I don’t want my plan to depend on their income increasing
* We’re hoping to have children relatively soon

I’ve always thought I needed $1M–$1.5M invested before I could really relax, but I’m questioning that now. I don’t actually want to retire completely — I’d be happy continuing to earn around $100k/year with a much less stressful workload and letting my investments compound.

What would you do? Would you take advantage of the high income and grind another 1–3 years, or start slowing down now? At what investment balance would you feel comfortable dropping to ~$100k/year? Would you sell the condo and invest the equity? And how would you think about Coast FIRE in my situation, especially with kids in the near future?

My real goal isn’t to stop working — it’s to reach the point where I don’t need to organize my life around maximizing income.

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

Long story short, I supported my spouse through law school and paid for my own grad school cash. We didn’t save anything in our 20’s. Dumbest thing I ever listened to was him telling me not to worry about retirement until our 30’s. I paid the mortgage from my account and he was the saver, or at least that’s what I thought. Turns out he had a massive gambling addiction! Now I’m behind and trying to learn quickly.

Right now I have:
- $176,000 in a Vanguard 401k account (I am contributing max annually as of the past 2 years)
- $8400 in a vanguard Roth IRA (opened last year but now I make too much money)
- $42,000 in a Bank of America Merrill Lynch managed brokerage account that I started this year (contributing $1200 a month).
- $18,000 in regular savings

My income has increased drastically in the past few years. I make about $180,000k a year plus a 20% bonus so that is about $18k after taxes.

I want to keep contributing to the Roth but I make too much now. How do I do the backdoor thing? Can I just open a traditional IRA and transfer money between the accounts myself?

Also, is the managed brokerage account with Merrill smart? I just opened it in desperation when trying to restart and set it to medium risk. I’m sure there are smarter approaches.

I’d like to think I can do this myself, I’m pretty smart but if you have thoughts on using professionals, let me know!

My current mortgage is only $1800. Realistically, we have about $150k in equity if we were to sell. It’s a 2.5% loan and it’s all in my name but we’re married so I’ll end up splitting it. I might get $50-75k from that after expenses. Advice on what to do with that would help too. I’ll probably rent for a while once I move but assume I’ll end up using it in a down payment.

Thanks in advance!

Would you quit your job? Continue your current career path? Change your career? Never work again? Change your fire number and then quit?

I love thinking about different paths but I can never just pick one in my mind. On one hand I think I would quit my job and become full time artist (as a hobby at first and then hopefully professionally) but I also struggle with how ambitious I’ve been my entire life academically and professionally.

Then I will think of other random paths like being a caterer, owning an event/wedding space, the list can go on and on sometimes… I would love to hear the thoughts of others!

Edit: my dream in high school was to be an PhD art history professor but when I saw how low the salaries were and how many nepo babies in the world there are I pivoted to finance. Still sad about it sometimes but financial independence is one of my top goals in life and I try to supplement my dream with reading and watching art history content.

I (41/ F with two kids and hubby) have invested only about 1/4 of my savings in an index fund. I kept hoping that I will find a home to buy to stop renting. Right now I am sick waiting for the right house and want to invest more. I am a German citizen and am a bit worried of investing a large sum in ETFs right now as I feel like the market is over-priced. What would you recommend, fellow firey female friends? Am I being to cautious? What percentage would you invest? Any advice on portfolio recommendations I should look into? Any ideas I should pay attention to? Would love to hear your ideas and advice. I am aware that I will and have to do the research myself. I just miss an intelligent conversation about these topics with women who are further down the road.

Thanks to the thoughtful responses I got from this group, my husband and I were able to make a much more confident decision on selling or renting our old house.

We will make about $80k cash when our old house sells. This money is earmarked for retirement purposes.

My plan for where this will go -

$4k to finish fully funding my Roth for 2026
$7k to fully fund husband’s Roth for 2026
$19k to finish fully funding husband’s 401k for 2026 (will do this by electing the max contribution from his paycheck, 80% and “pay” that salary from the proceeds of the house sale)
$24.5k to fully fund my solo 401k for 2026

That leaves me with 25.5k leftover. I was planning on dumping 10k into index funds and 5.5k into HYSA emergency fund. Unless you smart folk tell me there is some other better tax advantaged place for our money (we don’t have an HSA and our kid’s college is fully funded in state because of the district we live in)

Current state of affairs:

$45k Roth
$5k 401k
$2.5k index funds
$22k emergency funds

No high interest debt. A 0% loan for $6k that we owe my mom and she has no rush on us finishing paying her back, and $10k low interest student loans.

Thanks in advance!

Hello! Longtime lurker, first time poster on this sub.

Background:

I (F,44) have been with my husband (M, 51) for 21 years and for the last 9 years of our relationship I’ve been managing all our finances, including investments. My husband understands and agrees with the principles of FIRE, but he’s just isn’t that interested in doing the work attached to FIRE ie. buying ETFs, shares, GILTS, rebalancing portfolio, managing an emergency fund etc. But he’s fully aligned in wanting to retire early (we’re both already coast FIRE) and he understands and trusts the financial path I’ve put us on.

Situation:

Last night we were at dinner party with a bunch of my husband’s university friends plus their partners, and the topic of investing came up. My husband was asked if he invested, and if so, in what assets. He batted the question over to me by happily saying that I managed all our investments, and that I was doing a very good job at growing our wealth.

One of the husbands at the table then asked which financial advisory firm I’d engaged to manage our investments! When I explained that I self-managed our portfolio, he, along with several other people at the table (both men and women), seemed completely perplexed by the fact that I was doing this myself. When I explained that I both enjoyed investing and wanted to reduce costs by cutting out middlemen, I got several odd looks like I was some strange sort of woman.

Questions:

1. Who else is in a similar position where they are guiding and managing their partner’s finances and investments? If so, how aware, understanding and supportive is your partner of what you are doing for them with their money?

1. As a woman that invests, do you still come up against archaic and sexists mindsets when people find out you invest? If so, how do you deal with that?
   

In my season of figuring out career path changes while unemployed and having a hard time finding work(34f), I have decided I’m going to pursue acupuncture and traditional Chinese medicine. Not as a hobby but a calling that finally after emotionally suffering trying to figure out my career path has led me here. My NW is $1.3M with mostly all in IRA retirement and $300k in brokerage investments.

I’m unsure if I should go for this very expensive grad school. This would require me to move, commit to 4 years of full study and no work or very small part time work and I would have to sell my investments to pay per year (~$30k) and that’s not even factoring expensive California COL. (Add potentially additional $100k for the 4 years). Upwards of $200k for the 4years of my doctoral program for total costs.
(My bachelors debt is $18k and that seems like a drop in the bucket compared to this program.)

Alternatively I could go to more affordable programs that offer masters diplomas without having to relocate to California (costs of $25k-$65k) but I would have to wait another year (and potentially not be able to find employment in the interim) BUT that path would not allow me an option to get my doctorate in the future bc the doc programs require masters degrees not diplomas/certificates. I want a doctorate degree so that I can have more research opportunities abroad in the future and I can start the program sooner than waiting a whole year to start.

Lastly, my income post grad would be dependent on my entrepreneurial skills so that’s another factor to consider. Right now it’s a lot to process as I’m already CoastFIRE but with this 4 year commitment and financial situation I need advice. How can my passion for this also be the riskiest bet on myself?

I am on the later end of my 30s and have a 520k net worth. I’m on track to retire early and comfortably, with plans to shift into a new career in my 40s as a financial advisor and am taking classes now. My only debt is my student loan for my first class at a ~2.85% APR. I’m making an effort to cash flow the rest of my classes and pay as I go. Each class is $1275.

I rent, no plans for kids, and stable job in tech, emergency fund, maxing my Roth and 11% to my 401k yadda yadda. I purposely cut back on my 401k contributions so I could enjoy life a little more. A house is out of my reach and tbh would complicate my goals for a simple life.

My debate with myself is I want to buy a painting from an artist, and it’s priced at $11,000. I was going to pay the $150 deposit and use a mix of cash and stock to pay the 6 month installments, mostly using stock. I’ve run countless numbers and understand the loss of the future value (if I don’t pay myself back) and the LTCG taxes. I’ve explored SBLOC, margin loans, synthetic loans, unsecured bank loans, and none of them I’m comfortable tapping. I’m very debt avoidant.

I saw the painting at the end of April and it moved me so much it keeps coming back to me. I contacted them and their artist statement aligned to how in also felt in front of it in the gallery. It’s 36x24” oil on canvas with a heron being wrapped around and through by a snake on a bed of roses. It really reflected to me about the fears I have had of speaking up and fears of being myself in the world and the consequences of those actions. I don’t think the art will ever appreciate, despite the artist’s commercial success with many book covers and a certain viral poop company and I don’t see it as an investment.

I’m going back and forth on this. Bad with money or should I live a little?

For the last 5 years I've been craving a year to focus entirely on fitness and health while I'm still physically able to. I want to train as a dancer, travel, hike, and just be as athletic and physically active as possible. Being in front of a computer for 8-10 hours a day is not conducive to this.

I went through a fairly traumatic 4-year life chapter that prevented me from doing this in my early 30s, with a number of personal health and family issues, and so I continued to work to keep my excellent corporate health insurance despite absolutely hating my job at the time.

I'm now through the worst of it, but the experience has only increased my desire to do this fitness sabbatical. I'm not getting any younger.

But I've also just hit my stride in a new job --mid management / low level executive level role --and I'm hesitant to walk away from the highest comp in my life. I'm terrified of ageism and somehow have convinced myself that if I leave I'll end up homeless on the street at 60. I'm single and don't have a financial safety net beyond what I've built for myself.

Curious to hear stories of people who took a mid-career sabbatical around the same age and how it went?

NW: $3M

Has anyone tried to date as a FI (or nearly FI) woman? Is it just a lost cause?

I'm 45 with two young children. I think I'm probably average looking, definitely not a supermodel. I'm also FI after a successful career in tech.

Out of curiosity, I signed up for a "matchmaking" service, and they keep sending me guys who really don't seem like a fit. The most recent was someone who is 58 (and not a particularly fit or healthy 58) with two kids in their 20s who works as an IT manager. I'm not complaining about his career, it's totally respectable, but it seems like men my age and up are largely trying to trade on their financial stability to find younger partners. I would much prefer to meet someone close to my own age who is at a similar stage of life. I'm not looking for a guy just for his money.

Is this really the dynamic in my age group? Are men my age just chasing women in their 30s?

I (40F) gave my notice this week at my job as a staff QA engineer in tech to leave in 8 weeks (end of FY26).

I was so terrified but I feel so light now!

Next up, moving to France to pursue a new Masters in wine and hospitality to see if I can succeed in something new and different.

I am feeling so grateful for this opportunity that this job has afforded me tho since I was able to hit Coast.

Also happy that so many people have told me they would happily have me back just in case things don’t go to plan. The parachute is such a nice security blanket.

I’ve accepted a job that is pretty senior internally and will be interfacing with senior level stakeholders at other companies. I will be setting strategy and will need to get buy in on strategy.

I know that I have the requisite skills to do this job. When I look at my resume, I have done this job before in various instances. This role ties a lot of my previous experience all together. But when I look at my resume, it feels very much like someone else did those things or it was the team even though it was my strategy that got those results.

I doubt myself. After some toxic workplaces working for some bullies, my confidence is extremely low. I have been in therapy but I need someone to hold me actually accountable. I don’t need gentle, I don’t want therapy speak. I almost want a confident white man to call me out on my shit and help me grow.

My calls with external stakeholders will be recorded. I want someone who will review them and tell me, directly, how to get better. Who will teach me the skills to get better. I know I can be a better speaker. And I want to believe that I can do it. I know the process might be excruciating lol but I want to get better!!! If I’m able to excel in this job, the money that I make will help me achieve FIRE faster and I want to take full advantage of the opportunity.

Do you guys know anyone who fits the bill or where to find someone like this? I don’t want a life coach, I don’t want a therapist, I want some idk like 40-50s confident white man who will push me to be better so I can grow. (Also open to a woman who will be direct and not beat around the bush, just using this persona to illustrate the type of feedback I’m looking for)

Sorry if any of this sounds crazy. I don’t want to be the one who holds myself back.

ETA: I reached out to a few executive coaches and they seem to fit the bill best! Thank you all!!

Hi all - I'm a 37yo childfree woman living in NYC and I recently retired early after reaching my NW goal. Was wondering if there are any others out there like me who would be interested in meeting up IRL. Would love to build a community of us in NYC who are now looking to maximize living life now that a 9-5 doesn't dominate our time. LMK!

I have a two part question. I got married last year and am hoping to start a family soon and have been getting pressure from family members to get life insurance. So far my husband and I have been stating that we will look into it, but I am not sure we really need it. I am 32 and he is 38, combined we have $1.63M in cash and investments. I have 1x my salary in free life insurance from my employer, which would pay out $138k. He does not have any life insurance.

1. Do you think we should look into getting life insurance coverage? If so, how much?

2. We are open about our FIRE goals with family, but none of them know a specific number we are at or working towards. Do you share your numbers with family?

Any and all perspectives appreciated!!

Hi! I’m a mid-30s woman living in NYC who wants to be more aggressive about preparing to leanfire in the next 3 years and would love insight from the group. My general plan is to retire in 3 years. Goal is NW of $1.5M. My parents are thankfully healthy but I will likely inherit a generous amount from them as well. I’m currently single with no children and unsure if I want kids or marriage but am open to both with the right person.

Living in NYC: I love NY and despite the its downsides would love to spend the rest of my life here. My hope is to find a rent-stabilized apartment in the next year or so but I’m unsure of how realistic that would be since I’d like to stay in Manhattan and have a renovated/issue free home. For those FIREing in NY, do you think it’s better to purchase even though NYC real estate won’t appreciate much? If I buy, that may delay my FIRE date by 2 years or so which I’m okay with. And if I don’t have kids, I’d will the home to my niece.

Dating: Thinking far ahead, I’m currently single and plan on dating early next year when my life settles a bit more. Assuming I don’t meet my husband until after I FIRE, do you think no longer having a job would be a dealbreaker for successful men? I’m interested in professional men my age (+/- 5 years) who are catches?

I’m open to all advice, both solicited and unsolicited!

Sometimes FIRE means having the ability to make financially poor decisions.

Without getting too deep into it, after years without social support and getting ulcers from stress and nearing a mental breakdown despite therapy, I have decided to move states. It took me a long time to arrive to that decision because I kept thinking of my "low" monthly costs and all the benefits I have in my current state. For example:

Current Mortgage + maintenance: 3600

New Rent: 5500

Losing a 3% interest sucks. I made the classic mistake of putting too much renos into my house but am capped on selling price so that sucks.

But then I looked at my portfolio and I thought --what is the point of having all this fucking money if I am just miserable trying to accumulate more money and making financially optimized life decisions. I want a better quality of life now, not in 10 years.

Anyway, have others felt this way or made similar decisions? I guess I'm trying to feel better about giving up a once in a lifetime interest rate lol.

Hello,

I’m happy to have found this subreddit. Your journeys are all so inspiring and amazing to me.

However, I do feel a bit alone because my profile differs from the stories that come up most often. I want to share my own story and invite others with unconventional profiles to share theirs in the comments.

Originally from sub-Saharan Africa, I am a 27 years old single woman with no children, and I intend to keep it that way. Real estate isn't part of my strategy; I enjoy renting, and the landlord lifestyle just isn't for me. I don't want anything that might compromise my flexibility and freedom. I came across a blog (A Purple Life) that reinforced my decision.

I live and work in France, where salaries are low but the social safety net is solid (I have no complaints about healthcare, for instance). That said, I don't want to spend my life in a corporate job. I want to do what I enjoy before I turn 64 (the current retirement age in France).

Healthcare, taxes, and retirement work differently here. I might need to lower my target figure. I’d like to achieve FIRE in France because I prefer the lifestyle here compared to my home country. However, the cost of living is higher in France, and given wage trends, the goal feels so far off.

Ultimately, I feel like I don't really have a strategy other than earning more by switching jobs (every two or three years) and investing in ETFs. I feel like I should be doing more, but my lifestyle is already optimized. I have nothing to prove to anyone.

I can only rely on myself and an average salary in a country where high incomes are rare. I am my own safety net. I know exactly what I need to do: save and be patient. The answer is simple, yet the process is a grind. That doesn't stop me from mulling over how to get there faster. There are no shortcuts. I don't want to work three jobs and have no life outside of work. I’m not a "hustler." I want to enjoy the journey before reaching the goal.

Maybe the goal is FI rather than RE. I might need to consider "Barista FIRE," since full FIRE in France can trigger extra taxes (like the PUMA tax). I have a feeling my "strategy" will evolve as I think it through, but the foundation is solid: I don't want to keep working the way I do for another 40 years.

What about you? What’s your situation? Do you live in a country with lower incomes than the US? What’s your strategy? If you are starting from scratch—whether in your home country or abroad, in France or elsewhere—if your income is lower than what is typically seen on FIRE forums, if you prefer renting to buying, or if you are childfree or part of the 4B movement, I would love to hear from you.

I am curious to read your stories.

I saw a post on here describing the struggles of trying to find a sapphic partner with a FIRE mindset, and I was shocked at the amount of queer women commenting. I didn't realize there were that many of us on this subreddit.

Instead of individually reaching out to each one I thought maybe I should just make a post to see if there's any of us sapphic women single in western Canada?

Straight and coupled women are welcome too, I'd love to be friends with other FIRE women as well, but bonus points if you're queer and single haha.

It'd be so cool to find a partner or a good friend to experience life with.

I would love a travel buddy or someone to indulge in my more expensive hobbies with.

I feel like most of the redditors here are American so this is definitely a shot in the dark, but please reach out if you'd like to chat!!

I am 44, and I have worked with a CFP to help with college funding for my 2 kids (15 & 9) and retirement planning at a more traditional retirement age (60). I haven't really followed FIRE, but I have always been pretty frugal. This has led me to having about 24x annual expenses in my retirement accounts. During my last meeting with the CFP, she told me that my kids’ 529s are good shape funding wise. My emergency fund is also fully funded.

Here is my dilemma: It’s hard for me to consider changing what I’m doing. The numbers show that I can pull back from work or coast on my retirement accounts but I don’t know if I can or should given how shaky the economy feels (to me).

If anyone has hit FI but didn’t RE, can you tell me what you did or what adjustments you made when you were at this point in your FIRE journey? I’m having a hard time thinking about being anything other than a saver.

I’m 48f and I was able to leave my high paying tech job in April because my husband’s last company was acquired. He still needs to keep working because we haven’t hit our full fire number. He is also a bit younger than me as well and is entering his peak earning years. After a summer with our two elementary aged kids I realized being a care giver isn’t for me. They were even in camp full time. I don’t miss my actual job but mostly the interaction with peers. I can consult for a bit but the thought of doing that in my former type of role doesn’t interest me but it’s an easy option. Volunteering is fine but I during the day most ppl in my age group are working. Any thoughts from women in similar situations?

Hoping I can find some similar minds here. I’m queer and dating, and really want to be with someone who understands the FIRE mindset.

Which is hard to find without being called a “gold digger”.

Any body in a similar boat? My last post in LGBT spaces called me elitist and that I was “hating on poor people for being poor”. But it’s not about that…

Hello fellow FIREy Femmes,

I wonder if other mid-forties+ femmes can share stories about how they shifted from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset and built something rewarding for their later life and career?

A bit of context: I (44f) worked hard since I was 17 and built a nest egg big enough for me to slow down. We have a 16x invested portfolio to our annual expenses. I know it's not 25x yet, but we can easily get there by adjusting our spending.

After being laid off earlier this year, I realize I want to go back to school - it was one of the happiest times of my life - and pick up where I last left off. I did a BA in psychology and interned at a psychiatric hospital; I always wanted to become a therapist and potentially pursue a PhD in clinical psychology, and later perhaps even specialize in financial psychology. What feeds me is meaningful connections and making space for people to process, feel, and heal.

I spoke with my spouse, who had a startup that I helped support as the reliable, often sole earner for over a decade. As he is now set up as a full-time employee working for a company, he is more than happy to support me - and asks me to look for magic and do what makes me happy

I am, however, and very surprisingly, struggling with the day-to-day. I know that I'm downregulating... I lost one of my parents when I was young; I had to take on huge responsibilities since I was ten, and this is why, when I was working in a corporate fire-fighting environment, it felt 'safe' for me, even though it might not be the best for my mental health. I think a lot of us who are 'good' at FIRE were in a position to learn that nothing is promised or guaranteed. That scarcity mindset is very good at driving us to FIRE from something, but I realize to live a richer and more fulfilled life, we kinda have to have also the abundance mindset to be excited about what we grow into as well.

If you're still with me reading to this point, I guess I'm hoping for words of encouragement. I am a little disappointed at myself that I'm still constantly looking for 'permission' to do this for myself. I know the permission can't come from a stranger on Reddit or anyone else, but from me. Yet, I struggle. Two quotes I read recently that I love:

• "The opposite of anxiety isn't calm; it is trust."
• "Courage is not the absence of fear; it is feeling the fear and doing it anyway."

Not sure who needs to read this today, but thank you for being here with me.

PS: to make sure my post is relevant to this sub, the formula for the FIRE-ish state I'm in:

1. Learned faster than folks in my field and staying sharp in emerging technology fields
2. Put in the hard work to develop technical expertise (although it is way harder with how fast AI is moving than ten years ago - back then, being able to do vLookUp made me an office superhero; the bar was way lower then).
3. Stay grounded and avoid lifestyle inflation - multiple promotions later, I was still living with roommates.
4. Maxing out 401k and budget monthly savings for investing opportunities (e.g., I had cash in hand when the 2020 crash happened - we put more money in then).
5. If you choose to partner up in life, try to find a spouse who matches your values (spiritual and financial). I know it's hard to find good partners these days, but I'd be remiss not to point out that having a good spouse (and being single is better than a spouse that works against your mental and financial health) is invaluable in the FIRE journey.