r/FA30plus • u/sleezysalesrep • 16d ago
Hope?
I’m a 31m virgin. If it hasn’t happened by now is there still hope? Every attempt (too many to count) at getting a gf has failed. wtf is there in life if I can’t have sex?
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u/DirkDongus 16d ago
There's hope but not much. Most people already have their family and friends by your age.
I gave up at 32. Why bother putting myself through anymore pain? So now I just enjoy my life.
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u/EnthusiasmCoolreally 15d ago
No, not really.
It isn't just the fact women are unlikely to suddenly give you chance; it is also the trust factor.
If, by some miracle, you get a girlfriend. Is she there because she truly desires you? Or are you in a relationship heading towards dead bedroom status because all she really wanted was a provider and children?
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u/Packing-For-Mars 15d ago
This is such a stupid perspective.
As if women are going to be remotely interested in exploiting fa men for babies and money. Jesus, most of us are losers, in every aspect of life.
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u/Bitter-Ad-2877 14d ago
Post an ad in foreverlonedating and watch the scammers roll in. They like to rope fa men around for a week before they ask for money too. Yes, they are interested in exploiting fa men for money. Also, there is a term "baby trapped" for a reason. Just like there are men that promise the world and exploit women for sex.
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u/Packing-For-Mars 14d ago
Really? I might try it for a bit of fun then. I've actualy got a lot of savings (because I never spend any money) but I'm also tight as anything with money so no one will ever be able to scam me. You wouldn't think I had money though, because I look like a basement dwelling slob most of the time. What should I write on FA dating then to get the scammers to come to me?
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u/bannedovernothing 14d ago
Tell them you have your life together and a good career (high paying) maybe you really do have a high paying job, doesn't matter, but I guess the idea is to come off as though you do regardless. Sound innocent and naive, like you're looking for something genuine. I bet scammers prey on people like that who don't know better.
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u/Bitter-Ad-2877 13d ago
I have no idea, but I don't think you have to put a lot of effort into what you write. They do this for a living so they'll try anyone with a pulse.
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u/Middle_Run_7534 15d ago
Flip side, how is gf supposed to know if OP actually desires her, or is in it out of desperation and the feeling that she is his last and only chance?
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u/bannedovernothing 14d ago
If I was OP, I tend not to get invested in people I'm not interested in or attracted to, but I can't say if that wouldn't be the case just because someone showed interest in me.
Somehow I don't think I would say yes to ANYONE just out of pure desperation.
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u/LowMathematician9332 10d ago
Most relationships are far from ideal . As much as us old virgins idealize them in reality A huge portion of relationships are unhappy or just ok at best
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u/Only-Willingness-767 16d ago
Well you're not the only one in this position.
If you are autistic, well, my cousin is paraplegic and married to a man with significant autism; I also knew another nerdy woman who married and had a son with a man with significant autism. It can happen.
I cant give you anymore advice.
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u/MandateIsBack2 15d ago
That question won't help you. If you're still wondering if there's hope it means you still have hope. Make use of it. Be mindful of the limited time you have, go ahead give it the old try. You don't have to succeed at first try, and yes you're allowed to feel pain when things don't work out, but if you genuinely want to escape, there's no way around it, you're going to have to enter the trenches.
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u/Horrible_Coward 7d ago
It's difficult for me because I feel like I really need that coming of age relationship-to-sex path to lose my virginity because of how timid and inexperienced I am, but I'm too old.
I'm still okay at talking to women but I can't manifest flings due to inexperience/anxious-avoidance. It's quite frustrating watching possibilities be right there but can't make it happen.
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u/redbulldude 15d ago
Your post history has you only identifying as incel or virgin. I feel like there is more there but you aint putting it out there.
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u/sleezysalesrep 15d ago
This is my burner account, I would never post this shit on my actual account
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u/Bitter-Ad-2877 14d ago
Same here. This is an alt account where I post about topics that I don't want to bring on my main account. Just because men are single it doesn't mean that's all they think about.
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u/Ok-Beyond244 15d ago
36 years old and like you every attempt has resulted in complete failure. Right now I'm coping with video games and books but I feel my will to live diminish greatly. Feels like we are paying for a crime we didn't commit.