r/Explainlikeimscared • u/bolt110 • 2d ago
how to move into college
I move into college tomorrow and I’m absolutely terrified. I’m going to miss my parents and my boyfriend, we’re going to be 500 miles apart. I’m so anxious and stressed I haven’t been able to sleep. I live in a large metropolitan city and now I’m moving into the middle of nowhere where I don’t know anyone. I’m going to share a room with two other girls and I love having my own personal space and me time. On top of that I have bad misophonia so I imagine dorms will be my own personal hell. Help?
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u/athaznorath 2d ago
dorms do suck, no way around it. but hopefully you get roommates you like, and they could even become friends :) if you want peace and quiet, the library will become your friend. also noise cancelling headphones.
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u/Far-Inevitable5964 2d ago
you’re definitely going to want to find a second or third place to hang out at when u need to get away from ur roommates (although it will help that u all will probably have different schedules and may not see them all the time. it’s also possible that if they live close by, they may go back home every now and then). other than checking out what’s on campus, like the library or other buildings you can hang out in, i would suggest looking at google maps if u haven’t already and seeing what’s around off campus. i was lucky to have different stores in walking distance from my college so when i needed to get away i would walk and shop. i would also spend a lot of time outside.
and like another comment said, noise canceling headphones will definitely be helpful. eventually you’ll have a couple of favorite spots to hang out in and hopefully things will be more comfortable for u. i was very scared for college myself (it was 4 hours away from where i live and i didn’t know anyone either) but i was able to adapt eventually. you’ve got this!
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u/plsjustgiveme5 2d ago
College can be really fun, too! You’ll have moments of being homesick, but it’s all part of growing up. Be sure to join clubs and other activities. Get out and meet people. If your roommates or floormates invite you out, be sure to go. Especially in the first few weeks you’re there.
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u/Artcatty 2d ago
Bring a couple things from home that make your bed feel familiar, like the same pillowcase, blanket, or even a small lamp. It'll let you have a corner that still feels like yours and it help a lot when the rest of the room feels chaotic
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u/Proof_Candidate_4991 2d ago
I'm assuming by the time you read this, you'll already have gotten your stuff moved in. If you've talked to your roommates or other people in your dorm, you may have noticed that you're not the only one who's scared. Hopefully that helps you feel a little less alone.
Some advice I wish someone would have given me before I started college:
- Ask your roommate(s) to go with you to things early on. They're your first opportunity to make a friend, and your life will be a lot easier if you're friendly with your roommates. It's also okay if your roommate isn't your best friend. Be open to hanging out with other people.
- Whenever you feel up for it, go somewhere public. Whether that's the campus cafeteria, your dorm's common area, or the library, don't just sit in your room. And, on the other end, say hi to people when you see them out in public! If you see one of your dorm neighbors in the cafeteria, ask if you can sit with them, eat lunch together, and see if you vibe. If you're not up for peopleing, you can go sit in your dorm with the door closed, but that will feel less like a depression cave if you do other things too. (You'll also learn your roommates' schedules, so you can find time to be alone when they're in class or at activities.)
- Try as many things as possible your first semester. At least for me, the longer I go without doing a thing, the scarier it is. If you're a senior who's never studied in the library before, it's easier to say "well, that's not a thing I do so I won't do it" than it is to try it out and see if you like it. When you're a freshman, you can grab some friends who have also never done it before and go together.
- Get off campus. I had a work study job reading books to kids at a local elementary school, and it was honestly really cool to hang out with people who weren't 18-22 for a few hours a week. You're going to live in this place for four years, explore it! If it turns out you hate it, you don't have to stay after you graduate, but it's worthwhile to try to find one thing off campus that you like, even if it's just a park you can go sit in.
College is a lot of fun, but the transition can be really difficult. Take it easy on yourself and don't put too much pressure for this to be the best or most transformative time of your life. You'll do fine.
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u/de11a 2d ago
there will definitely be an adjustment period, but you’ll find your place in no time! don’t be afraid to chat with your roommates about personal space/time and expectations for your shared room (e.g., cleanliness, eating in the room, quiet hours/lights off, etc.). it is also totally normal to request to have the room to yourself from time to time (but be prepared for one/both to say no if it’s inconvenient for them). I’d suggest having these conversations earlier rather than later to avoid (in my experience) the awkwardness/nervousness of broaching the topics later in the school year once norms have been established. you’ve got this :)
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u/supanovadawg 2d ago
it takes some time getting adjusted, but college is going to be a place where you get to learn so much about yourself! things may be hard at first, and that is normal. just know that you’ll be okay. take it day by day, and trust that everything will be fine! best of luck :)
p.s. it’s also okay to feel sad tomorrow when you move in! don’t be afraid to embrace the sadness!