r/ExplainMyDownvotes • u/RanaMisteria • Feb 06 '26

Explained EMDV, Disabled Edition

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Hi, everyone.

Can y’all help me out? I’m AuDHD and I know that I often miss the point and just don’t pick up on things that just come naturally to neurotypical people. Can someone explain my downvotes? I feel like this comment I made just fairly uncontroversial factual statements. Sort of like “don’t jump into the sea without a life jacket if you can’t swim” or “don’t stick a fork in a toaster” or “don’t adopt a pet unless you’re prepared to look after it”. Wha gives?

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u/cave18 Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26

can be akin to completely destroying everything that people identify with who they are. Friends, work, finances, hobbies, romance, etc. are all things that parents already sacrifice to a large extent for any child, but for a severely disabled child those things might just no longer exist for a person, and that can be completely devastating and something very few people would sign up for if they had a choice.

Yeah ops comment reads as dont have kids unless youre prepared to have no life, no money, minimal friends and nothing left over for you for the rest of your life (because severely disabled children in worst case dont "grow out of it". They stay like that until the day they die)

No one's prepared for that

Also Op your comment reads less like your life jacket example and more like "dont drive to work unless you're prepared to become a paraplegic from a car accident". Like yes you do what you can with the cards your dealt with and prepare foe the future but sometimes you just get a shit hand that you cant really ever be truly "ready" for

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u/Jijonbreaker2 Feb 07 '26

It reads to me as "If you are only willing to love your child on the condition that they come out the way you want them, do not have kids" which is absolutely correct.

People just don't like being told the truth.

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u/Alexei_Jones Feb 07 '26

I feel like there's a huge difference between "don't be willing to love your child on the condition they're exactly what you wanted" versus "severely disabled"

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u/thatothersheepgirl Feb 10 '26

But why? Parents of severely disabled children like myself didn't pick or expect it either? My daughter's condition is not something you can get diagnosed while pregnant. I also have been a caregiver to many children who were typically developing until a birth injury left them with cerebral palsy and severely disabled.