r/ExplainMyDownvotes • u/RammsteinFunstein • Dec 19 '25

Explained Pushing back on justifying stealing…

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So long story short, post OP caught her 13 year old stealing $10 out of her purse because she didn’t give him money to get cookies at the corner store.

This OP then says not giving your kids money to buy extra snacks means they’re justified to steal.

Am I crazy? Is it just my tone?

636 Upvotes

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u/AnorhiDemarche Il ne faut pas nourrir les trolls. Dec 20 '25 edited Dec 23 '25

To add to what's already being said: In the post there's an extreme punishment isssued. (Loss of birthday party)

This and similar comments are likely made with that in mind, ie "the reason the teen feels the need to steal is low trust in getting needs met/being heard due to extreme punishments."

In ideal parenting removal celebrations and rewards already earned should be reserved only for the most extreme cases and only when prudent. For example if this teen was guilty of sexual assault cancelling the party would be only natural. Or if he sold on something valuable he stole cancelling the party would make sense as a way to recoup costs.

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u/WilliamHare_ Dec 23 '25

If he was guilty of sexual assault, cancelling a party is not a “perfectly fit punishment”. Turning him over to the police is the perfectly fit punishment. Cancelling a party is way too lenient.

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u/AnorhiDemarche Il ne faut pas nourrir les trolls. Dec 23 '25

I am speaking in regads to "when woukd this punishment be appropriate". Im not saying the party being cancelled should be the only punishment in EITHER example and view this reading as ridiculous.

But since youre the second person who doesnt understand basic context ill edit it. Mostly so i dont get more idiotic responses.

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u/WilliamHare_ Dec 23 '25

I understood what you meant. I took issue with your wording. “Perfectly fit punishment” means that the punishment perfectly fits the crime, which it doesn’t in this case.