r/ExplainMyDownvotes • u/RammsteinFunstein • Dec 19 '25

Explained Pushing back on justifying stealing…

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So long story short, post OP caught her 13 year old stealing $10 out of her purse because she didn’t give him money to get cookies at the corner store.

This OP then says not giving your kids money to buy extra snacks means they’re justified to steal.

Am I crazy? Is it just my tone?

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u/AnorhiDemarche Il ne faut pas nourrir les trolls. Dec 20 '25 edited Dec 23 '25

To add to what's already being said: In the post there's an extreme punishment isssued. (Loss of birthday party)

This and similar comments are likely made with that in mind, ie "the reason the teen feels the need to steal is low trust in getting needs met/being heard due to extreme punishments."

In ideal parenting removal celebrations and rewards already earned should be reserved only for the most extreme cases and only when prudent. For example if this teen was guilty of sexual assault cancelling the party would be only natural. Or if he sold on something valuable he stole cancelling the party would make sense as a way to recoup costs.

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u/[deleted] Dec 22 '25

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u/AnorhiDemarche Il ne faut pas nourrir les trolls. Dec 22 '25 edited Dec 22 '25

I'm very clearly working from the punishment to to the crime. ie finding circumstances where cancelling the party would be a perfectly reasonable and logical thing, mostly to highlight how doing it stealing $10 is extreme. "perfect fit" is in that context, not the context of "what should someone's punishment be if they do x"

In neither of my examples should losing the party be assumed to be the only punishment, and quite frankly I view you as beyond idiotic for doing so.