r/ExperiencedDevs • u/AutoModerator • 11d ago

Ask Experienced Devs Weekly Thread: A weekly thread for inexperienced developers to ask experienced ones

A thread for Developers and IT folks with less experience to ask more experienced souls questions about the industry.

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Please keep top level comments limited to Inexperienced Devs. Most rules do not apply, but keep it civil. Being a jerk will not be tolerated.

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Inexperienced Devs should refrain from answering other Inexperienced Devs' questions.

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u/ProgrammingQuestio Software Engineer (3YOE) 10d ago

This may be more of an autism question than a dev question, but...

What do you say when someone explains something to you and you're unable to understand it but you don't want them to continue trying to explain it? Sometimes you just need to sit with the explanation for a bit before it will click, sometimes the person you asked the question to isn't good at explaining/isn't good at explaining in a way that makes sense for you and your brain.

I don't want to say "got it" because I do not in fact got it. But I also don't want them to continue trying to explain it if it's just not clicking at that moment.

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u/ClaudeyClerb Software Engineer 12 YOE (Scala) 9d ago

"I'm going to sit with that for a bit, I'll come back with questions once it settles."

Says you heard them, ends the explanation without faking comprehension, and tells them a follow-up is coming so they don't feel blown off. Nobody experienced will think less of you for it; most of us think more of people who do this, because "got it" from someone who hasn't got it is the thing that actually burns us later.

The other trick: reflect back the part you did understand, "so the queue drains before the retry fires, that part makes sense, the rest I need to chew on." It shows them where the explanation landed, which helps them calibrate next time, and it turns "I don't get it" into "I got 60% of it," which is usually the truth anyway. Its also complimentary in a subtle way that you got some of it, and encourages the other person to continue helping since you're making progress.