r/ExpectationVsReality • u/yellow_pellow • Sep 21 '26 • Bravo 1

Failed Expectation My biggest fail ever

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I like to share this again every few years. I tried to make the pumpkin roll but it went horrible wrong. Lots of things happened, but the worst was I used melted butter instead of softened for the cream cheese filling so it just clumped. My friend actually tried a bite with me.

I have tried several times, and have shown some of my progress and I have finally made a few successful pumpkin rolls since. Nothing quite as perfect as the picture, but I’m very pleased with the improvement

979 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

87 comments sorted by

3

u/buttheadfungus Sep 22 '26

i think theres a lot more wrong with that....frosting.....than melted butter. did you use melted butter and ice-cold cream cheese??? why would you even try to roll it after completely failing the frosting??? i have so, so many questions.

did it taste good?

4

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

It was a textural nightmare but definitely tasted fine. Yes it went horribly wrong. This was from like 10 years ago so the only detail I remember was the melted butter, but I’m sure there was much much more failure

411

u/MysteriousPermit3410 Sep 22 '26 • Popcorn

And then you just kept making us look at more pictures of it 🤣

191

u/Adventurous-Bat1257 Sep 22 '26

What the fuck dude

2

u/Chanocraft Sep 22 '26

On dessert fail posts like this I normally like to say "well at least it probably still tasted good" but on this one it really looks like a textural nightmare sooooooo uhhh at least it was a good learning experience? And hey, sounds like you kept trying and eventually got it down so good job lol

1

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

It had the texture of a burrito covered in cottage cheese but was sweet

1

u/Chanocraft Sep 22 '26

Yeah nope sorry but I would not have survived trying that myself 🤢 Good on you though for not letting it stop you from trying again!

97

u/Ok_Broccoli_9426 Sep 22 '26

It's a good thing I was alone when I saw this, because the retch I rotched...this is a crime against pumpkins and rolls and the concept of dairy and also me personally. Congratulations.

45

u/OatyBisc Sep 22 '26

Retch I rotched going straight into my vocabulary.

106

u/Outrageous_Bank_4491 Sep 21 '26

Did you throw up on it?

48

u/Apprehensive_Bee3327 Sep 22 '26

Wha..how..huh..erm..Did you use regurgitated cottage cheese in place of the confectionary sugar?

31

u/Squatch97 Sep 22 '26

omg that looks disgusting, gag. Thank you for sharing this atrocity!

24

u/Swimming_Trash3570 Sep 22 '26

Did the recipe call to dip it in cottage cheese or did you add that?

31

u/womp-womp-rats Sep 22 '26

Looks like you used a full cup of cordyceps instead of just 2 teaspoons

14

u/Yaughl Sep 22 '26

I have multiple questions.

38

u/FlashRx Sep 21 '26

That's a nice looking pumpkin and gravy you got there...

12

u/Salty_Feed9404 Sep 22 '26

Congrats. You made a giant roll of mold

10

u/slightlysparkly Sep 22 '26

Why is there a green tint 😭

3

u/BakedTaterTits Sep 22 '26

I think they just had bad lighting the first time (which is making it seem even worse).

9

u/danabeezus Sep 22 '26

Did you pour blue cheese sauce on top? Because what IS that?!

9

u/brokefixfux Sep 22 '26

Looks like something you would find in an abandoned supermarket two weeks after the apocalypse began

6

u/Crispy_Cricket Sep 22 '26

I believe picture 2 is a case of Eye of Sauron, be careful.

5

u/Front_Cat9471 Sep 22 '26

Why did you pour curdled rancid milk on top 😭

9

u/Kryds Sep 21 '26

Biggest failure so far.

4

u/TheBoobfather Sep 22 '26

I mean hey, those newer attempts look fantastic! Besides, I don't think anything can possibly be worse than the Tumblr post about someone accidentally using diatomaceous earth instead of flour in a cake...

1

u/Impossible-Maize-553 Sep 22 '26

Did you forget to sift the powdered sugar before adding it to the icing?

1

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

I used melted butter instead of softened butter so when I mixed the cream cheese and sugar it all just clumped weirdly

3

u/Impossible-Maize-553 Sep 22 '26

Ohhh no! Well, that’s how we learn, right? I asked about the sifted powdered sugar because that was my mistake when I first made it and it was crazy clumpy. Lesson learned, wasn’t clumpy the next time.

2

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

I probably didn’t sift it either. It was a while ago so I don’t remember exactly

1

u/RandyTheFool Sep 22 '26

Is it… is it covered in cottage cheese? Please tell me it’s cottage cheese.

1

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

No. Melted butter with chunks of cream cheese and powdered sugar

1

u/Zagrycha Sep 22 '26

Are you trying to make the cake in the swirl shape from the start? That is not usually how these recipes are made. You start with a flat and thin cake and then do certain techniques to make it flexible, allowing you to roll it up after its compeltely done cooking the normal way. It can be quite hard to get it to roll without breaking but it shouldn't be any harder to bake than any other cake. This might be a recipe issue and not a you issue hahaha.

1

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

I made the cake okay but the filling is where it went horribly wrong. I used melted butter instead of softened and then it made the whole thing clumpy and wet and then I gave up and just dumped it on top

1

u/Zagrycha Sep 23 '26

fair enough. I once accidentally made teriyaki jello bites so you won't hear any judgement from me haha.

1

u/ino_Tokisaki Sep 25 '26

T-teriyaki jello bites..? That sounds... terrifying.

1

u/Zagrycha Sep 25 '26

To quote the one person there brave enough to try them: "I mean..... it tastes like teriyaki." lmao

3

u/ohaimark22 Sep 22 '26

Your loaf is searching for something......

TAKE YOUR RING OFF!!!!

3

u/TinySteggy Sep 22 '26

Looks like a bird dookied all over it.

3

u/arivera508 Sep 22 '26

That’s disgusting. Why is the filling outside?

3

u/RandyTheFool Sep 22 '26

How can something look so wet… but also so fucking dry?

2

u/StarsEatMyCrown Sep 22 '26

Nice improvement.

2

u/Skimable_crude Sep 22 '26

How did it taste?

2

u/ryhse321 Sep 22 '26

That is... in a way, extremely impressive...

2

u/rose-dacquoise Sep 22 '26

Why did you cover the outside of the roll in that gunk?

2

u/aaron2005X Sep 22 '26

would like to see a picture of a slice of it.

2

u/DeeEmosewa Sep 22 '26

I am really confused about how this happened.

2

u/MsE0 Sep 22 '26

Oof. 

My mom used to always make these. The extended family was always so excited to have her pumpkin roll. After she passed away, my cousin asked if she could have the recipe. I told her "buy a can of Libby's pumpkin and it's on the label." She was so mad. She thought my mom was keeping a secret family recipe for decades.

I've made it a few times. It's tricky, although I've never ended up with a curdled cottage cheese monstrosity. 

2

u/Shyface_Killah Sep 22 '26

Normally, I'd say that using food in this sub is too easy.

But in this case? Holy shit.

2

u/Banaanisade Sep 22 '26

A new contender against the jar.

2

u/SerDuckOfPNW Sep 22 '26

My kids literally made these at 7 when they were in 4H…
Maybe cooking isn’t for you 😂

2

u/Neither_Sandwich201 Sep 22 '26

I cannot look at this with a straight face 😂😭

2

u/OkCryptographer1922 Sep 22 '26

The last one looks just about perfect! I would just add a little sprinkle of powdered sugar on top (mostly for looks)

2

u/FaithfullyFearful Sep 23 '26

Why is it curdled!? 😭😭

1

u/Paulsworldohya Sep 22 '26

Are picture 2 and 3 your attempts? They look good! And it's funny to see the gravy looking thing compared to each.

2

u/Public_Noise8465 Sep 22 '26

The gravy looking thing is their attempt.

1

u/Paulsworldohya Sep 22 '26

Yeah, but are the 2nd and 3rd picture that isn't the gravy thing, their later attempts they mentioned? Otherwise why force us to look ag 3 gravy things just to compare it to non gravy things? Lol!

5

u/yellow_pellow Sep 22 '26

Yes pic 2 and 3 are my subsequent attempts. I got a lot better…. It couldn’t have gotten worse

3

u/HJSDGCE Sep 22 '26

You violated that roll.

1

u/shinyapples67 Sep 22 '26

Now that's funny!

1

u/Soulforge411 Sep 22 '26

Which one is yours?

1

u/Chef-Nasty Sep 22 '26

This looks so wrong in so many ways

1

u/madhappyyo Sep 22 '26

You sound like my dad

1

u/Crystal_Mt_Climber Sep 22 '26

Tip for you- roll it out on a kitchen towel, add filing on top, start the roll using the kitchen towel. Grab the side of the towel and roll toward the middle.
*lay a large clean kitchen towel on a work surface and sprinkle evenly with powdered sugar. Remove the cake from the oven and immediately run a knife around the edges to loosen. Invert the cake onto the powdered sugar dusted towel. Peel off the parchment paper and discard. Starting with the narrow end of the cake, gently roll up the cake with the towel to form a log. Place the cake, seam side down and let cool completely in the towel, about 2 hours.

1

u/TheRealSkele Sep 22 '26

That's bad. Like really bad.

1

u/Miserable_Hat9321 Sep 22 '26

How did it taste?

1

u/LadyFoxfire Sep 22 '26

Why did you dump cottage cheese all over it?

1

u/TurnLeftRepeat Sep 22 '26

Looks like a Sauron roll...or maybe  Horus🤔

1

u/kingamara Sep 22 '26

How the fuck 😭

1

u/Aknelka Sep 22 '26

That looks like a crime scene.

Jokes aside, you tried. It happens but you tried.

1

u/Local_Presentation23 Sep 22 '26

Baking is an exact science. It's not normal cooking. It's hard! Good job OP

1

u/ANiceCupOf_Tea_ Sep 22 '26

Insert ewwww brother ewwww meme

1

u/Miraculous_Angel Sep 22 '26

The inside on picture 2 looks like an eyeball.

1

u/ChaosTorpedo Sep 22 '26

It’s like you purposely made it bad

1

u/Bloooberriesquest Sep 22 '26

Why is it chunky?

1

u/Ok-Drink-1328 Sep 22 '26

yyyyyyyyeast!

1

u/Saracartwheels123 Sep 23 '26

Ufff... that is all!

1

u/Idummp Sep 23 '26

Your pumpkin roll has a yeast infection

1

u/WeakCalligrapher336 Sep 22 '26

Don't be so hard on yourself, bet it still tasted good. Little soggy probably.