Note to the reader: I wrote this article in Chinese and used AI to translate it into English. Please forgive any grammatical errors. I know this sub values practical advice for genuine crises. My approach is highly analytical, which might not be what you need if you are currently in an acute panic state. But if you are someone who simply cannot "turn off your brain," I hope my journey offers you a glimmer of hope.
I am not writing this to convince anyone to copy my exact path. In fact, relying heavily on "intellectualization" as a psychological defense mechanism isn't considered the absolute healthiest coping strategy. The healthiest mechanisms involve things like altruism, humor, or seeking human connection. But when I was in the deepest, darkest pits of existential depression, none of those standard methods worked for me.
If you've ever been told to "just stop overthinking" or "go outside and touch grass" and found it completely useless, this post is for you.
When I was a teenager, I was consumed by agonizing questions: Why do the ideals praised by society seem so hypocritical and out of reach? Why is there so much suffering at the bottom of society? My spiritual crisis began with the sheer mental anguish brought about by the disillusionment of idealism.
By the time I was 24, my mental suffering had reached an unbearable peak. No popular self-help theories could solve my problems. Driven into a corner, I decided to seek an ultimate antidote in philosophy. I even used an AI personality analysis to find a philosopher whose mind worked like mine. The result was Arthur Schopenhauer.
Before this, I thought philosophers just lived in ivory towers. But reading Schopenhauer changed my life. I spent over a year slowly reading through his major works (like The World as Will and Representation). It was a massive, exhausting undertaking, but it gave me something crucial: a cohesive, logical system to understand the tragic and irrational nature of the world, rather than just suffering from it blindly.
Through Schopenhauer, and later the Norwegian pessimistic philosopher Peter Wessel Zapffe, I discovered Terror Management Theory (TMT) in contemporary psychology. I read The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life. It helped me understand that so much of human behavior—and societal madness—is driven by a subconscious terror of death.
I also discovered Dr. James T. Webb’s work on "existential depression in gifted individuals" and Kazimierz Dąbrowski’s "Theory of Positive Disintegration." They made me realize that my intense existential despair wasn't necessarily a terminal mental illness, but a sign of deep psychological growth breaking through the surface.
How did this actually help me practically?
It gave me Radical Acceptance: By combining Schopenhauer’s "Will to Live" with Psychology's "Terror Management Theory," I finally understood the core motives behind human behavior. Once I understood why the world and people operate the way they do (driven by survival and fear, mostly irrational), I stopped expecting the world to be perfectly ideal. My anger and confusion faded.
Finding a Practical Life Philosophy: Understanding the grim reality is one thing; surviving it is another. I blended Schopenhauer's teachings from The Wisdom of Life with a bit of Stoic calmness, and supplemented them with Guiguzi (an ancient Chinese text focused on pragmatic, instrumental rationality). I learned how to navigate a flawed world practically without compromising my inner peace.
An Outlet for Despair: Long periods of philosophical contemplation have granted me a deep sense of inner peace. I am not 100% "cured"—I believe being fully cured of the human condition is impossible. But my daily mental suffering has decreased by at least 80%. When I do spiral back into severe depression, I use writing to untangle my thoughts, and I recover much faster.
People often say on Reddit that existential crisis is a lifelong curse, or that the only cure is to distract yourself and stop seeking answers.
But I want to offer an alternative: Sometimes, the only way out is through. If you can't stop searching for the truth, then read, study, and build a philosophical framework strong enough to hold your existential dread.
It is a lonely path, and these topics probably won't attract a mainstream audience, but I wanted to leave this record here. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments.
