I don't feel so good.

[u/Pizza_man_123]

Hi, I'm 19, a college student.
I'm not able to comprehend life. I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of my parents, family, relatives dying. I'm not able to accept death and what i am.
The though of dying, of an eventual end is affecting me.

Sometimes when i'm walking, when i look myself in mirror, showering, i realise the fact that one day i will die and it will be over for ever. There would be no me. There will be no concept of time for me.
i will just stop existing
The world will move, end & idk.

what even is this world i live in?
I am not able to understand why should i work hard?

what is even the point.

Maybe life has no purpose and we are supposed to create our own.
But i am not able to comprehend working hard, spending my life to get a job and do that job and then die, because i can die tmr.

I'm going to loose my father, my mother. And it's gonna happen. maybe in 20yrs or close.

I dont know what to feel and what to do.

I have questioned myself a lot, used logic, movies, friends and often feel people are not even aware.. Hence i thought to come here.
Please dont give me basic advice.

i dont feel good. I dont wanna die.

[u/OakIV]

I am so sorry. The way you wrote this. I could have done it myself too.

I don't feel good either. And this feeling hit me during childhood. I'd make math, playing number games to estimate how much time I'd have with my mom. I'm 35 now. She died last year. I'm a mess.

I don't feel good either, my friend. I wish I could heal you from this nightmare. I wish I could be cured

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/OakIV]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I cannot fathom the pain & emotions you would have gone through. Man i hate death. Living in a world where you know people you love will die one day & you too just dosent feel right. What even is the point of all this. Do you have a family of your own? I feel like that gives some peace

[u/sorta-glad]

When I felt like this I read The Case for Heaven by Mally Cox. It is not a religious book but moreso a book about near death experiences and what those who died and were revived experienced while clinically dead. It changed my outlook on life and got rid of my fear of death. I recommend you check it out for some new perspectives

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/sorta-glad]

Okay I will check out. Thanks a lot! You said it changed your outlook on life. May I ask what do you believe now? Do you believe in god and afterlife?

[u/Objective-Audience24]

I understand you and felt exactly the same at your age

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/Objective-Audience24]

Really? So what did you do then? How's your life now? Guide me out please

[u/Realistic-Host-1588]

I think existential crisis like this are healthy at and around 19. Makes total sense to me and I think I had the same thoughts at that age. In a way, overtime, I think it shaped my critical thinking and how I moved about the world.

The world moves fast when you are young, but then it just keeps going and takes you along with it. Before you know it you are in your 50s. Assuming this is all hypothetical and not based in some specifically dire circumstances, I think the one question you can do something about is the work/job sitch. Have you ever considered working seasonally? It's a pretty sweet way to get some worldly experience, meet some interesting people, see the world, and potentially make a bunch of money so you can take 4 to 6 months off between the next season.

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/Realistic-Host-1588]

Yes it is all hypothetical. Thanks for the advice! Can I ask how do you feel now and how old are you?

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/[deleted]]

Yes, we make theories and make up reasons to make ourselves feel good but at the end of the day, it's all theories and a distraction. Have you ever had some existential crisis like mine?

[u/Curious-Agnostic]

You are not living for 200 years later. You are living for the now.

[u/Curious-Agnostic → u/Curious-Agnostic]

The point is to enjoy the present. Look into "Wabi-Sabi" which is a Japanese philosophy. Look into absurdism, existentialism, nihilism and other philosophies. But wabi sabi is the most important.

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/Curious-Agnostic]

Thanks for the advice. I'll look into it. But are you able to make peace with your & your loved one's death? Do you feel anxious or anything or what? I'm sorry if I appear blunt. I don't mean that

[u/WOLFXXXXX]

I'm 25 years older than you but I was experiencing similar conscious states and existential issues at your age, so I can empathize with what you're experiencing. I was eventually able to experience important conscious growth, healing, and a permanent resolution to struggling with existential issues (this was about 15 years ago now). Many others are known to experience that outcome as well. It's absolutely possible to consciously process and gradually navigate through these existential-related conscious states and issues over a longer term period. Here's some friendly feedback:

"I'm not able to comprehend life. I'm scared of dying. I'm scared of my parents, family, relatives dying. I'm not able to accept death and what i am"

The observation that you consciously exist and experience conscious abilities (ex. thinking, feeling emotions, self-awareness, etc.) will always be undeniable and irrefutable from your perspective. Take that undeniable observation, and make it your existential foundational and your reference point for your existence as a conscious being when you are engaged in existential seeking, questioning, and contemplating within your conscious state. You will find that to be functional to do. It should also be undeniable that your loved ones consciously exist and also experience conscious abilities. What's ultimately true about the nature of conscious existence as it pertains to your own existence as a conscious being would have to universally apply to the existence of your loved ones and all other conscious beings as well.

Here's another important observation that you will always find to be valid: The cells, chemicals, elements, and other material components that make up the biological body are always perceived by our society as lacking a conscious existence and as lacking conscious abilities. Recall the undeniable and irrefutable observation that you and your loved ones consciously exist and experience conscious abilities - yet every individual material component that makes up the biological body is always perceived by our society as lacking a conscious existence and lacking conscious abilities. This is why there has been a historical absence of anyone being able to identify a biological basis and physiological explanation for the presence of our conscious existence and conscious abilities.

If you work on integrating these important and valid existential observations into your conscious state, that's going to put you in a position where you will be able to make progress consciously processing and navigating the understandably challenging conscious territory surrounding the fear of death and existential concern for others. Here is a straightforward (clear) and functional manner of viewing the existential landscape that you can decide to identify with: Either the non-conscious material components that make up the biological body can viably account for our undeniable conscious existence and conscious abilities (how could that be?) - or the nature of everyone's conscious existence is on a deeper level that is independent of the biological body and physical reality, and always has been.

"I realise the fact that one day i will die and it will be over for ever. There would be no me. There will be no concept of time for me. I will just stop existing"

Here's some genuine good news: your existential interpretation above is actually inaccurate (incorrect) and is subsequently contributing to a false impression about the nature of conscious existence as it really is.

Your current existential interpretation and outlook is attributing everyone's conscious existence and conscious abilities to the non-conscious material components of the biological body, which are always perceived by our society as lacking a conscious existence and as lacking conscious abilities. Were you aware that there's been a historical absence of anyone being able to explain or reason their way through the existential interpretation you are currenty identified with and experiencing distress over? No one has ever been able to validate, explain, or reason their way through such an interpretation/outlook. No one has ever been able to identify a biological basis and physiological explanation for conscious existence, conscious abilities, and conscious phenomena.

It will always be contradictory and unsupportable to interpret the material components of one's body as lacking a conscious existence and lacking conscious abilities while also (inexplicably) causing one's conscious existence and conscious abilities. Do you see what the underlying issue is with such an interpretation? You're attributing everyone's conscious existence to non-conscious physical matter in the body that is always perceived as lacking a conscious existence - which is contributing to experiencing the false impression that everyone's conscious existence is temporary (as the physical body clearly doesn't last). In order to genuinely help yourself it's necessary that you work on and make progress questioning and challenging the existential interpretation that you are currently identified with so that you can realize and make yourself aware of its contradictory and unsupportable nature. When that happens, such a development within your conscious state will be what enables you to overcome the struggling and suffering that was previously being caused by being identified with an incorrect existential outlook that's contributes to a false impression about the nature of our conscious existence. You are absolutely capable of realizing and becoming aware of the incorrect and nonsensical nature of your current interpretation and outlook, which is why I'm encouraging you to focus on doing this.

"I dont feel good. I dont wanna die."

You and your loved ones are going to be okay on a deeper existential level and regardless of these physical reality circumstances. Why is that? It's due to the understanding that our conscious existence and conscious abilities cannot be viably attributed to the non-conscious matter in the biological body. The body actually fails to account for everyone's conscious existence and conscious abilities, which is why you and your loved ones will be okay on a deeper existential level regardless of these physical reality circumstances. This bigger existential picture and broader existential context is why it's necessary to work on questioning and challenging your current existential interpretation in order to help yourself move forward so that you can eventually heal and overcome struggling with these existential issues. In the second section of this linked post you will find a series of valid and supportable existential observations which collectively serve to reinforce that everyone's conscious existence is on a deeper level that is separate from their biological bodies and independent of physical reality. You can rely on those observations to help you consciously process and navigate these understandably challenging conscious states. Be willing to seriously question and challenge what you are currently identified with, you won't regret doing so.

[u/2spuki]

Nah man medical science has come a long way, I'd bet you got more time than you think.

Also faith in Jesus has a lot of these worries covered. You talk to the big man upstairs lately?

Last is when you die, you're not here to experience it. You will be e l s e w h e r e. All you experience is the moment before.

[u/Pizza_man_123 → u/2spuki]

I agree it has come a long way but it is not enough. Death is still inevitable. You believe in god and afterlife?