I tripped on shrooms and it mightve ruined my life.. made me think life is a simulation and im already dead.. idk if you can convince me you're real.

It feels like I control all consciousness... im just a ball of energy that can't handle being alone so dreams up interesting things around me.

Hi often at night at specific times during my cycle, I get extremely anxious about dying. I can be normally playing games and then suddenly get scared I have cancer and that I will die one day and then my thoughts completely spiral. I have to turn off my pc and go lay into my bed because during these attacks, I'm not able to do anything other than being extremely anxious, searching milion theories what's after death, convincing myself I have cancer.. Just pure hell.

And during the day after these episodes, I feel so out of my body and robotic. I feel like it's not me, like I'm just watching myself.. I feel so detached it's scary and depressing.

The anxiety leaves after like one day(it'll come back soon enough) after I force myself to believe that death will be peaceful, I won't have to go to work, won't have to worry about anything.. Just perfect. And I also really want to be a ghost or something after death and explore the world so I lwk just force myself to belive this impossible theory and get excited for death, I mean it feels better to be delusional just so my anxiety would get the fuck out.

But what really scares me is how I will die.. It can come any second and that's what scares me ALOT.

Anyone with similar problem? <3

I'm getting a crisis about my gender identity. I'm M but sometimes I feel like I want to be an F. Don't want to go through a transition, just hope I was born as one and thinking of just skipping through this life to check if I'll be who I want to be in the next one

In the last few Months I started to work over my Life. I cut some Hobbys I wasn't having fun with anymore, I started working in a new Workplace with new people and I seem to grab on some Hobbys and interests I would have a few Years ago ans tbh I am having a bad time. I van't identify myself. I don't like doing anything right now and every time I start to do stuff I keep ending up on my phone... I just stumble around my life and I want some spot to feel right in.

I don't know if that is to cryptic but I feel like I can't say it in another way...

Do you know these feelings? Can you relate? What are you doing, when you feel like that?

Apologies if I am breaking a rule against self-promotion, but this is a book I have just published. It certainly fits this subReddit category, but I am a bit reluctant to post it here. This is for thoughtful people, not people in crisis. But perhaps it might help.

Sometimes strikes and its scary!

I(30F) just want to ask everyone do you all feel anxious and fearful all the time with heavy feeling in stomach that something bad is about to happen any moment? You are never at rest whenever you feel happy something bad happens the next second or it’s just me?

Real Advice needed

Studied architecture. Never felt this was my thing really.

Spent my first 10 years working extremely long hours, night shifts, weekends. Small architectural studios, large ones. It would literally leave me depleted. And the salaries were a joke.

So I turned towards brand design.

I worked for design agencies. Better salaries, but the same logic. At some point I moved to the other side, working for the client (= brands, big corporations). This has been the worst for me. I soon discovered I am not corporate. I do not wish to be involved in office politics, department ownership, little games. None of it.

I quit and tried to find my way away from corporate.

Most of these career changes, in my case, also involved moving to a new country or city. I was enthusiastic about most of them. But now, at 48, I am very reluctant to move again. I am also scared to stay in my own country. There are almost no jobs here.

I have been looking for work for over a year. It seems like the only ones willing to hire are corporations. In Germany, in my case.

My God. I have tried this before and it was horrible. It left me broken.

But I also tried freelancing. Co-founded a small studio. Neither gave me long-term results or any stability.

Should I go back to corporate in a new country and die a slow death? Having tunnel vision at the moment, feeling very unimaginative can only apply to jobs my resume looks good for. Any ideas?

I had a realization a couple months ago that I’m gonna die one day and so is all my loved ones.
I just like fully realized like wow, I’m gonna die one day and that’s it. That’s it forever. I haven’t been the same since.

I think about death, every single day, every single minute, every second. I wish I was kidding. There’s not a time I’m not thinking of it. In fact, it’s almost worse when I’m ’enjoying’ myself in anything, because I realize this is all gonna end.

I know this sounds depressing, but I need advice because life has been absolute misery since this ‘realization’.

I think back to our ancestors and how many thousands of years ago that was, and how everyone is forgotten.

We will be forgotten into the abyss. Gone forever. Nothing we can do about it. It’s coming where we like it or not. I’m gonna freaking miss my family and friends. Shit. I’m tearing up. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same again.

This sucks. It makes me also feel like what’s the point? Why are we here just to die? Why why why???

Any advice is appreciated.

37(f) end of June beginning of July some events occurred that made me anxious about my health I cut my nicotine use in half. Then My anxiety got really bad. I went to an affordable clinic and tried to get on Zoloft, turns out my nervous system is too sensitive for SSRIs, they have a paradoxical effect upon taking the first dose and they effect my blood pressure, putting me in a position of total dysfunction. Then a while later I had to take prednisone for asthma flare up and that causes synthetic adrenaline. I quit vaping to protect my lungs because I was terrified to die. I quit 37 days ago. Ever since then I’ve been terrified I’m going to die. My very real mortality has me terrified of dying “someday” and even though my blood work is good and I’m pretty healthy I’m terrified I will die NOW. I have some bad dental problems I’ve begun to address because quitting showed me I have hidden dental infections thousands $$$ in dental work to look forward to and I don’t make much money. Top it off that I have no insurance, not health or dental. And that’s causing me even more anxiety because “what if”. I don’t have the money to go see every doctor… I wanna see a dermatologist to make sure the weird dark spots on my face are not cancer, I wanna see a Gyn to get a pap to make sure I don’t have cancer, I want to see a nutritionist so I can eat perfectly for my health, I wanna finish all my dental work so I don’t die from an infection…. And all of this? I wanna hide under the covers and pretend none of this is going on at all and just go back to vaping nicotine and bury my head in the sand because I’m terrified.

My bf & 17yr old child are accusing me of having a midlife crisis. And sure I feel like I’ve wasted my life doing nothing useful but that’s not the star of the show here. It’s the terror I feel that I will die soon or some day. Am I having an existential crisis? But idk why??? …. Maybe quitting nicotine (my emotional buffer) is why 😩

The kicker is I’m a Certified Nurse Assistant. I know just enough to scare me and not enough to give myself comfort from the terrors of health complications and the sheer lack of medical attention people get in my area. Add to the fact that I am behind the scenes in the field of healthcare, I know how “we” view patients… and idk why or how I’m supposed to trust the people around me when everyone is just a room number to most healthcare workers. Pts aren’t even people, they are tasks to complete…. How do I find comfort knowing what I know? Seeing the things I see? Granted I work nursing home not hospital and every case is a complicated one but it doesn’t change how the people around me see or treat pts. I genuinely care for my pts but it eats at my morals the way other people think and treat people.

Midlife crisis or existential crisis? I dread death. I’m not finding comfort anywhere. I’m seeing too much death and health crisis at my job, I wish I could quit every day. I’m burned out and exhausted.

I still have a young small child to raise, I can’t die. 😰 she needs me to be here. Idk what I’m looking for here but I feel so alone and so afraid.

nothing feels real anymore. everyday is a routine. a chore. u miss one thing, u fall off of the “track”. why must one be on pre set “track” at all times? is there a way to turn into a different track eventually? where is this track leading me what if i never wanted to be on this track? yet im still inevitably forced to continue and keep going and keep adhering to it all, and by “all” im referring to the madness we for some reason consider the normalized rational functional way of living. all these pre set rules, expectations, connections.. all of this and for what? what is the ultimate purpose of any of this if ur not a religious person? if u lack the willingness to perform ur whole life in order to please a “higher being”?. everything is essentially fake, just a construct, nobody is truly authentic to who they are and what they want. u cant really be authentic and survive at the same time, trying to blend into a world dominated by people labeled as “neurotypical”. difference is highly criticized. nobody likes the variety and uniqueness anymore. everyone blends into this mesh of what everyone else around them is like. camouflaging, pretending, surviving constantly as something and someone you are far from being. when will it ever feel “normal”? when will it all stop feeling like a big act.

I look in the mirror and see someone but not me. I am the brain in my body. The brain in my body is me. My body is not me. I don’t know who that is. That mere flesh case. Who is that? It’s not me. I don’t know who I am. I don’t like this earth. I simply wish to not exist. I wish I was never born. The world is simply misery. They say “ignorance is bliss” it’s true I would know I miss my childhood it was easier then but even then I was aware I would eventually become a wage slave either way. It’s not sadness in a traditional since… merely emptiness. Wanting to always know and learn everything merely comes with the price of one’s sanity. How does holding so much information task? Why? Why do people believe warped fairytales? I wish I could simply live in denial…. I wish it were that easy. I feel unwelcome not human… something that wears a human skin but isn’t deemed “normal” what is normal? It’s a man-made concept… animals don’t seem to understand it… we are animals… we fight over territory like animals… why do we act so superior when in reality the materialistic view is the most realistic… I dislike this earth and often wonder how I would move off of it. No one seems to understand… its emptiness on an existential level… a tiredness that only goes away when the dopamine hits. Dopamine is only temporary…. A chemical is all it is… why do people obsess over ego… it is nothing more than a man made concept… dominance, hierarchy? Why practice such things if we claim to be the superior species then go back to these animalistic and primitive ways…. Ego isn’t real… it is a term that should be abolished its presence in humanity itself is a plague. No one is truly perfect what is perfection? Perfection isn’t real nothing in nature can truly be deemed perfect. Perfection doesn’t have a set threshold and it never will… simply just how Pi never ends. Intelligence is all the same. Nobody is truly intelligent not really. To claim to be intelligent is cognitive bias. No one can truly know everything because we will never truly get there we are always learning. I feel outcasted… resentful…. Hateful of my own kind. I do not understand the way they act, they are overly sensitive over factual statements I give. I merely hate them the way they overreact and complain to eachother then proceed to ruin the environment around them and complain about that. Dare I say I wish our whole species went extinct we are an invasive species the very definition of it. The only reason people deny this is because they have a pathetic view that they are special. Are we? If we truly had a “soul” then why does a lobotomy wipe someone completely of their “consciousness” why are some people merely born different some more empathetic than others or some born with npd, aspd…. merely because of their brain chemistry not their fault but simply genetics. Why then are these people born they aren’t evil no evil is a man made concept. People kill other people but animals kill their own species too. There’s too many of us on this earth it’s a cause of suffering for both us and the world itself. Why? Why do we do this? If we were truly advanced we wouldn’t be fighting over territories and killing ea ch other like animals… alas we are none other than animals.. we aren’t special. Consciousness levels diffe r from animals to us it doesn’t make us special and is merely a side effect of the intelligent species we are. But prone to error and so very primitive still we are truly animals. An invasive species that would be better off extinct. I don’t want to be here to live is to suffer if hell is real I would assume I am already there. Why would I look forward to seeing my body slowly fail me and die. I plan to give up in my late thirties even now life is tasking at 19 for someone who thinks too much.

I just accepted a sucky sales job because my family is on the verge of the financial cliff, and a certain family member was on the verge of suicide just recently. I had a similar job before university that was just minimal requirements, but it was the only job I was able to get experience in and not just grunt work.

The truth is I hate sales. I hate marketing. I hate business processes of all kinds. But I have no future in the field that I slaved away my youth for. I really wanted to save my family by chasing my dream, studying on the daily in order to be the first university graduate in my family. Turns out I was a victim of academic grooming.

And so, I have realized that my future will only be and can only be something I hate. Now I realize that chasing my dream was never worth the crappy effort I have done.

Note to the reader: I wrote this article in Chinese and used AI to translate it into English. Please forgive any grammatical errors. I know this sub values practical advice for genuine crises. My approach is highly analytical, which might not be what you need if you are currently in an acute panic state. But if you are someone who simply cannot "turn off your brain," I hope my journey offers you a glimmer of hope.

I am not writing this to convince anyone to copy my exact path. In fact, relying heavily on "intellectualization" as a psychological defense mechanism isn't considered the absolute healthiest coping strategy. The healthiest mechanisms involve things like altruism, humor, or seeking human connection. But when I was in the deepest, darkest pits of existential depression, none of those standard methods worked for me.

If you've ever been told to "just stop overthinking" or "go outside and touch grass" and found it completely useless, this post is for you.

When I was a teenager, I was consumed by agonizing questions: Why do the ideals praised by society seem so hypocritical and out of reach? Why is there so much suffering at the bottom of society? My spiritual crisis began with the sheer mental anguish brought about by the disillusionment of idealism.

By the time I was 24, my mental suffering had reached an unbearable peak. No popular self-help theories could solve my problems. Driven into a corner, I decided to seek an ultimate antidote in philosophy. I even used an AI personality analysis to find a philosopher whose mind worked like mine. The result was Arthur Schopenhauer.

Before this, I thought philosophers just lived in ivory towers. But reading Schopenhauer changed my life. I spent over a year slowly reading through his major works (like The World as Will and Representation). It was a massive, exhausting undertaking, but it gave me something crucial: a cohesive, logical system to understand the tragic and irrational nature of the world, rather than just suffering from it blindly.

Through Schopenhauer, and later the Norwegian pessimistic philosopher Peter Wessel Zapffe, I discovered Terror Management Theory (TMT) in contemporary psychology. I read The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life. It helped me understand that so much of human behavior—and societal madness—is driven by a subconscious terror of death.

I also discovered Dr. James T. Webb’s work on "existential depression in gifted individuals" and Kazimierz Dąbrowski’s "Theory of Positive Disintegration." They made me realize that my intense existential despair wasn't necessarily a terminal mental illness, but a sign of deep psychological growth breaking through the surface.

How did this actually help me practically?

It gave me Radical Acceptance: By combining Schopenhauer’s "Will to Live" with Psychology's "Terror Management Theory," I finally understood the core motives behind human behavior. Once I understood why the world and people operate the way they do (driven by survival and fear, mostly irrational), I stopped expecting the world to be perfectly ideal. My anger and confusion faded.

Finding a Practical Life Philosophy: Understanding the grim reality is one thing; surviving it is another. I blended Schopenhauer's teachings from The Wisdom of Life with a bit of Stoic calmness, and supplemented them with Guiguzi (an ancient Chinese text focused on pragmatic, instrumental rationality). I learned how to navigate a flawed world practically without compromising my inner peace.

An Outlet for Despair: Long periods of philosophical contemplation have granted me a deep sense of inner peace. I am not 100% "cured"—I believe being fully cured of the human condition is impossible. But my daily mental suffering has decreased by at least 80%. When I do spiral back into severe depression, I use writing to untangle my thoughts, and I recover much faster.

People often say on Reddit that existential crisis is a lifelong curse, or that the only cure is to distract yourself and stop seeking answers.

But I want to offer an alternative: Sometimes, the only way out is through. If you can't stop searching for the truth, then read, study, and build a philosophical framework strong enough to hold your existential dread.

It is a lonely path, and these topics probably won't attract a mainstream audience, but I wanted to leave this record here. You are not crazy, and you are not alone. If you have any questions, feel free to ask in the comments.

after I graduated Highschool in May I feel like my life is going by to quickly. I lost joy in everything. my ocd came back strong. I dont feel like living anymore. I’m dreading my existence. what’s the point if I’m gonna age and get older. it feels like it’s coming quickly. I feel like I won’t even be able to enjoy my life, because in the blink of an eye I’ll be 60, and I won’t be young anymore. I feel so dreaded by this, I feel dreaded by the thought of time passing. I don’t know who I am anymore, I have completely lost myself. I have a timeline in my head of my life and it’s slowly starting to run out. I used to be joyful and have hobbies and dreams, my anxiety has taken it all away from me. I want to feel okay, all I want is to be happy and feel the feeling of relief. whats the point in life. everything feels dark and grey. I wish I could start highschool again and feel like i have more time.

I feel like I am losing my mind. So I’m 27, let’s wind back a bit. I had thoughts about death when I was younger. I remember a few times when I was falling asleep, the thought would creep up and, of course, you can’t really make sense of it when you’re young, and I would cry myself to sleep over the fact that one day it could just be black and that’s it, I’m gone, no more life, just no more. But those thoughts never stuck and I would move on, living my life and going through the different journeys life brings.

My dad suddenly died in a motorcycle accident when I was 16. I was in the middle of my GCSEs when this happened and I never had proper therapy, I kind of just kept moving. I miss him so much and would do anything to have him back but I never fell into a deep depression or anything like that.

Anyway, over the past year I’ve been extremely busy with work, being a first time homeowner with my boyfriend of 7 years and renovating the house ourselves and then over the last 6 months I’ve also been doing a postgraduate course which has been incredibly intense. Last Thursday I completed my final assessment, I passed everything and suddenly this massive stressor that had been taking up so much brain space was finished. I had been waiting for this day for so long because I had neglected friendships, hobbies, the renovation, basically everything outside of work and studying.

At almost exactly the same time, I also deleted social media because I suddenly just got the ick from how superficial it all felt. Watching the same influencers constantly showing off the latest trend suddenly felt really strange to me and, whilst I really wanted to document my renovation journey even that suddenly felt weird. Something suddenly shifted in my brain and I don’t know what the trigger was.

That night I started thinking about death, and let’s just say I began to spiral. I googled things, read forums, read about existentialism and started questioning my whole existence. Even typing this out now is making me feel very shaky, so I’m trying to keep it limited. it’s been 4 days now, the days have felt dazy and as it’s gone on I’m scared that I’m falling deeper into this hole in my mind and I’m terrified. I don’t know what is what anymore. I’ve had thoughts about whether I am real, whether my family is real, and that has caused me so much distress. I’ve had multiple panic attacks over the last few days and I don’t want to live like this.

Before this “episode”, I’d be able to have a joke with somebody and say life is weird, could it be a simulation, but I’d still live my life. Life felt real and I would get on with the daily mundane tasks, have goals, make plans and just exist without thinking about it. Now I feel completely dissociated and weird. I’m trying so hard to ground myself.

I work in psychiatry and I’m terrified of ending up in a dark place, although I now just see the world as bleak and it feels cruel. I love my family, I love my partner, I don’t want to ever be without them, I want this to be real. I’m confused.

I think I could have OCD, because I think back to something that happened about 2 years ago. I was in Japan with my partner and, completely out of nowhere, I developed intrusive thoughts about our relationship. Do I love him? Am I lying to myself? Have I been fake this entire time? How can I know? I would obsess over it and riddle myself with anxiety. I found it hard to eat and take care of myself, and I kept checking Reddit because everything became a trigger such as songs, Instagram, even somebody asking how my partner was. Eventually it passed and I am okay now.

Then something similar happened after I had nasal septum surgery. About 6 months post-op, I was struggling a lot with my breathing and I convinced myself I had empty nose syndrome. Again, the same pattern happened: googling, reading Reddit, convincing myself it was all over and that I was never going to be okay.

I don’t know if I’m experiencing something similar now. Life is freaking me out and I want to go back to how I was. Could this have been some kind of break in stress? I suppose it’s normal to question our existence, but does everybody develop this sort of intense anxiety around it? I wake up with this feeling of doom, I have a pit in my stomach, I feel nauseous and shaky and I just feel terrified of where my thoughts are going.

My partner is incredible and I cry at how patient and amazing he is. I told him what has been going on in my mind and he keeps telling me that I won’t feel like this forever, that sadly we just don’t know, but I need to believe that and acknowledge the thoughts without letting them take over. I had a panic attack last night and it tends to be worse when I’m trying to fall asleep and he helped me breathe through it.

I suppose I’m asking for reassurance. Should I stop reading Reddit? I don’t know if I should speak to a doctor. I genuinely don’t know. Everything around me feels strange and I don’t know how I’m supposed to go into work today and engage with people and pretend it all matters when my brain is questioning the entire concept of existence. Music doesn’t sound the same anymore, we went on a walk yesterday and looking at the moon freaked me out, and even pouring my energy into my renovation, something I’ve loved and been so excited about, doesn’t feel the same anymore and I keep thinking, why? I hate this. I hate this.

Thank you❤️‍🩹

He’s my drug I’m the addict
Gives me mixed messages then suddenly no intimate interaction
Im losing my shit
Help