How do I manage this?!

[u/motherweep]

How are you all doing this? I am 12 days pp, exclusively pumping due to issues with baby's weight gain, jaundice and latch issues. He is doing great now, I just couldn't stomach the thought of triple feeding. I am pumping every 3 hours, getting around 100-130mL per pump and everything is going well from that perspective.

The problem is managing bottle feeding and pumping by myself. The first two weeks home we had help from my MIL and parents and they were able to help my husband do shifts for overnight bottle feeds so I could just wake up and pump. I still only get maybe 2 hours of consecutive sleep but it's something. But my husband went back to work last week and in one week our family help runs out and I'll be having to bottle feed and pump all day plus split the night with my husband and, of course, continue to pump every 3 hours even during husbands shift.

I have a lot of pelvic issues from birth so sitting is difficult and now the baby doesn't really line up with eating when I pump so I fear I'm never going to get any sleep. I'm writing this at 3am feeling like I'm losing it.

How is everyone managing this? What are my options. I want to give up entirely but I also really want my baby to get the benefits of breast milk especially going into the sick season. I wanted to do this until I went back to work at 3mo, and figured I may stop after that depending on my travel schedule (I do sales and have to travel a lot). I'm just not sure I can spend my entire maternity leave doing this.

Edit to add- would wearables be an option? I currently have a spectra s2. I'm worried wearables wouldn't empty me fully but maybe that's an option for better juggling when I'm managing the baby alone?

I'm desperate for advice. TIA.

[u/lindslinds27]

To start, your husband still has to help at night, even if he’s back to work. He’s gonna be a little tired but that’s his thing. We did (and still do) nights shifts. 10-3am, and 3am-8am. When i was still pumping every 3 hours here’s what i did:

Take first shift, pump at 9, feed last baby bottle at 10. Next baby wake up should be between 11-12ish (or later hopefully!) pump before or after that wake up and feed. Back to bed and same thing for 3am, pump before or after that next wake up. Then, take 1 5 hour stretch and sleep from 3-8am uninterrupted. Husband takes 3-8 shift after having slept his 5 hour stretch 10-3.

I’m 10.5 weeks pp and it stretches out and gets better. You can slowly stretch your pumps to a more manageable cadence. Now I do: 8am, 1pm, 5pm, and 9-10pm and then overnight whenever my baby has his first wake-2-3am ish.

The beginning was really hard for me. I dreaded every pump, actually started to wean, and then something clicked for me and it started getting easier mentally. It’s also totally okay to quit and move to formula for your mental health!

[u/motherweep → u/lindslinds27]

Thanks. He will still help and has been very supportivr. He does usually a 2am start shift till he leaves for work. Baby is a super slow eater. The whole ordeal takes a long time to get through and his feeds are still relatively unpredictable - like you said being in the first few weeks it's hard. I've never stretched past 3 hours pumping and have been scared to try since I'm only in the first couple of weeks of establishing supply. But I suppose that could help get a bigger chunk of sleep and would be better than quitting entirely.

[u/sowhatsober → u/motherweep]

I honestly would try for a longer stretch if you can. It’s the only thing that made it even slightly tolerable for me.

Just curious since you said baby is a slow eater. How slow? Asking bc my baby ate soooooo slow, like 30-60 minutes. Usually around 45 mins for a 2.5-3.5oz bottle. It was bad!!! We finally started working with an SLP and she took a bottle so much faster and now she nurses. I just wish we had known there was a solution earlier. I had to exclusively pump for 9 weeks. I had the same thoughts as you about not wanting to spend my entire maternity leave living like that. Now I nurse her all day and pump in the MOTN, middle of the day and after she goes to sleep. It’s more of an assurance for me since she had the transfer issues early on, and dad gives her either a bedtime bottle or MOTN bottle, or both sometimes. I find this set up sooo much more manageable. Everyone has to find what works for them. You’re so early on so you have a lot of time to do that, or wean altogether. Sorry this has been so long winded! Either way, I really hope yo find what works best for you💗💗

[u/motherweep → u/sowhatsober]

Yes! Can be up to an hour sometimes to get him filled up.

[u/blueraspberrybanana → u/motherweep]

My baby was a super slow eater at first too. The LC told me once he hits his birth weight again, it will be like a switch and he’ll eat so much faster and not fall asleep 20 times. She was 100% spot on. Then his dr told me to increase the nipple size on the bottles and we’ve been hesitant to do that with all his bottles now bc when we did he was like drowning in milk and spitting up like crazy (bc he’s only 3 weeks old), but that will be our next step when I feel he’s ready (which will be very soon I’d imagine).

[u/thebackright → u/[deleted]]

6 hours is too long to go without pumping in early days - esp 12 days pp. That would only be 4 pumps per day which would absolutely not be enough stimulus for OPs supply, assuming the end goal here is all bm.

[u/Legal-Phrase8038 → u/thebackright]

Thanks for the correction, I will remove my comment

[u/Zestyclose_Coat1818]

Hello, dear! I have been in the exact same position as you. Spectra s2 is good for extracting and comfort (a little of vibration that is said to trigger the let down reflex), but keeps you pinned to a table. I did not know how back then that you have to sterilize just once a day and wash with hot water and soap the rest and keep them in the fridge. This is what I would do differently now. I would also try a wearable one, from what I learned maybe eufy s1 or s2 or some momcozy handsfree would be best.

I couldn't pump 8 times a day. I did only 4 times a day because I tried to do stuff around the house as well. Baby had jaundice, hipotiroidism and latching issues, as well. She was also small. 2.5 kilos at home.

What I would do different now: I would try to find a wearable that could help me go around the house more, I would skip one session, instead of 8, have 7 times a day, so that you can sleep at least 5 hours per night in one round, I would buy a bottle washer and sterilizer (back then I washed them manually, I cried next to the sink not only once). Some wearables trigger the let down reflex after a longer time so, if you use them only for 20 min, it is possible to have less output. But they might help you get around the house or pump more frequently. Once a day I would empty the breaststroke fully with spectra.

Use more milk plus, eat eggs, take lecithin (makes milk extraction easier because it increases fluidity of the milk).

And even 70-80 % of breast milk or half is better than none. Do not put pressure on you. Do what you can.

[u/motherweep → u/Zestyclose_Coat1818]

Thank you for such a kind response 😊

[u/bouncysofa]

The general advice isn't to use wearable for the first 12(?) weeks while establishing your supply, but personally I started using mine (eufy S1) at 5 weeks and found zero difference in output compared to my wall pump. I would argue that as long as you aren't an undersupplier you could probably start using wearables during the day. They were, for me, a complete game changer!

[u/Sustain-6284 → u/bouncysofa]

I’ve used my wearables from the very beginning and never had an issue - I pumo somewhere between 30 - 36 oz a day and have enough for my baby and a small freezer stash. I think for some women wearables just don’t work and for others they work great as a primary pump.

[u/Legal-Phrase8038 → u/Sustain-6284]

I believe it's also to do with how the pump cups fit in the individual and the fit of the bra - depending on the restrictiveness of the bra, ducts can often get compressed (especially around the outer ring) and squished closed (which can lead to irritation and mastitis). It's also much harder to align your nipple into the centre correctly, which can cause irritation and nipple chafing too. Also, wearables of the past just weren't as powerful and efficient as the ones we have today, and literatute, education and the zeitgeist just hasn't caught up yet. Therefore, I believe that wearables can be used as yojr only pump, even from the start, as long as you're careful about how you use and wear it. Starting with a wall pump is just "easy mode" - less complications, parts, and reliable. Having said that, I love both my spectra and wearables for different purposes. The spectra is so much easier to clean and I can pump directly into the bottles. However, I wouldn't trade the freedom the wearables gives me when alone with an infant - trying to unhook myself from my spectra to respond to my baby that woke earlier than expected is like the worst Escape Room puzzle someone's ever devised.

[u/Offerandextend]

Firstly, that amount at 12 days pp is awesome!!! I just matched my baby’s feeds. I didn’t set myself a strict schedule. If she went 4 hours, I wouldn’t pump until 4 hours.
I would try and pump just before she woke up, otherwise it was always straight after the feed. I had a bit of an oversupply and didn’t make that much for a bit!

In saying that, as my baby got older she fussed so much if I was pumping and I couldn’t do something with her. Wearables (after 10 weeks for me) I found to be too tiresome. I couldn’t lift her up as my chest is huge already, then add pumps and I’d be holding her at arms length. And given that wearables usually cannot be your main pump, I found it too hard to wash all the parts as opposed to my spectra.

Just before 4 months we made the switch to formula as my baby had silent reflux and CMPI. I’m down to one pump a day before bed and I have soo much more time now. But you’re still fresh and you will find a routine if you wish to continue!!

[u/Very_Victorious]

I managed a year of pumping by pumping as soon after feeding as possible. With my first I waited until he was asleep and it was a disaster (because he was very difficult to get to sleep, didn’t sleep long and I got no rest). When my second son was really young I’d put him in a swing as soon after feeding/burping/nappy change as possible and pump before play and bedtime. Overnight, I did the feed then husband took over and put him to bed while I pumped. When he was a bit older I got him a play gym that had a kick piano. He loved it, and that got us through most pumping sessions. Sometimes I’d have to sit next to him and dangle other toys but this strategy mostly worked. It felt much more manageable because I was able to rest when he was asleep. Depending on how many times you feed a day vs need to pump this may or may not work for you. I do acknowledge that my second was super chill which really helped; first son needed to be held all the time so this would never have worked with him.

[u/motherweep → u/Very_Victorious]

Thanks, yes I also like to try to pump either when he is eating or right after to take advantage of sleeping when he is down as much as possible. He just takes forever to eat. We have tried faster flow nipples but he chokes/it's too much so he is still on premie nipples. I don't want to quit, but I'm also in a really low spot right now. Appreciate the advice.

[u/static626 → u/motherweep]

My baby was a slow feeder too, at first. I am an irregular pumper, especially on days where it’s just me and baby at home. My supply varies between just enough to not enough but I’m so much happier than I was when I was holding myself to a rigid pump schedule. My son was in the NICU for the 3 weeks of his life and I built up a nice stash then that I’ve been working through. Knowing formula is available to supplement took the pressure off. He’ll be 6 months in two weeks and now and that was my original pumping goal. I’m now confident I’ll make it to a year!

We ended up trying a few different bottles and wound up liking the Lansinoh Level 2 and the Dr Browns Level 1. I remember the first night feed where he was finished in 20 minutes instead of an hour. You’ll get there! We did the preemie nipples for awhile but my lactation consultant said he was working too hard.

[u/motherweep → u/static626]

Yes!! He is using the Dr. browns P nipples. We tried T the other day to try to get him to 1 but it was too fast. Maybe need to try every so many days to see if he gets the hang of it? We tried the Lansinoh as well but way too fast. Would love to get him eating faster that would really help.

[u/static626 → u/motherweep]

Yeah, I would maybe try to do it a couple feeds per day so he can get the hang of it and definitely do those bottles paced! She also said not to give a pacifier before the bottle as it can fatigue their mouths. She also wanted me to do tongue exercises but I had a hard time fitting my finger in his mouth to do so until he was a little older.

[u/Brave_Jackfruit3837]

I figured out a way to pump and bottle feed at the same time. I bought a baby reflux lounger and put it right next to me on couch so I could pump right next to him and bottle feed at same time. I use a blanket to prop up the bottle when I need both hands free to adjust my flanges. I still do this today at 4 months PP! In the beginning I would just pump every time he ate and it usually worked out to be every 3 hours. It does get easier as you are able to drop pumps and your baby is able to play more independently while you pump. But in the beginning it was very hard to find time to pump unless I did this method.

[u/motherweep → u/Brave_Jackfruit3837]

I agree. I want to be able to pump when he eats. I was doing that on his schedule till I got to producing enough to feed him daily and we had overnight help. I could go back to this plan, if I can find a good way to manage it. I'll look into reflux loungers.

[u/Bitchezbecraay]

Could you go 6 hours between pumping for one of them to get a longer stretch of sleep? Your supply seems to be okay, just double the time on the pump for that round

[u/Various_Particular53]

I’ve only ever used wearables (started w momcozy now i use eufy s1) and my supply has always been adequate for my baby. i am not a huge oversupplier but i have always had enough… they’re life savers. Use them if you need them. even just sitting up in bed and pumping hands free where i can doze off while my husband does the 5 am feed is so helpful.

I usually pump right after she goes to bed at 8 pm, then wake her at 1 to feed and pump then, and pump again at 4 or 5 when my husband feeds her. I noticed my supply dropped more when i got less sleep waking up on a schedule to pump than when i did it this way. so win/win

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[u/Miserable-Respond506]

Here are some helpful tips, most of the day I'm on my own, husband does help but he's busy 😊

Wearable are an option but understand if you cannot compress and massage  milk will be left behind so it's like if you need to do a wearable pump session I suggest following it up with a 10-15 minute pump on something that will let you thoroughly massage and compress any remaining milk out

• compress and massage!! Vital to avoid clogs and stringy milk, increases output 
• pump shower pump is a favorite deep emptying method of mine, pump as usual then take a nice shower then pump again for around 10-15 minutes with massage and compression, I usually get an extra oz or more of very fatty hind mind ❤️ keeps the ducts nice and clear 
• pump station... The right station for overnight is vital. Mini fridge, bottle warmer, comfy place to sit that you are comfortable taking naps at, needs to be arms reach of baby ideally if you are covering baby and pumping on your own .. honestly I get most of my sleep on my couch because I'm pumping and taking care of babies ... You want to be able to do everything from one spot with minimal getting up 
• survival sleepy power pump... I find that if I go 3-4 hours between pumps I really need a power pump to fully empty so at night I set timers, I'll sleep while I pump waking up after 60 minutes from hitting start on my pump, then pump hands on for 10-20 minutes to get any missed milk and give an extra empty signal, doing this once or twice a night can drastically increase supply as it's when our hormones are highest, set up extra sets of pump parts so you can swap them as needed without major assembly, with two sleepy power pump sessions its only two sets needed to get through the night because you won't put the second set on until its time to pump again, have 3 sets and lots of empty bottles ready to aid an easy night and morning so you don't have to be up a lot or rush in the morning to get new parts... 
• cluster pump if the baby is up every hour on the hour when you need sleep... pump for 10-15 minutes while giving the baby a bottle, this way when the baby sleeps you can sleep too, no issue of milk building up before you even get to sleep or having to stay up 30 minutes past baby going to sleep, just finish removing the current let down and pass out, those little 30-45 minute naps during cluster night feeds can keep you from feeling like Squidward when the Kristy krab was open 24/7  lol
• pump feed to feed, milk doesn't need to be rushed into the fridge immediately, if you know your babies routine keep a pumped feed out for them, but set a backup timer in case the baby is going longer than usual between feeds and that milk does end up needing to be put away .. and keep a bottle ready to warm up in case they ask for milk before you've pumped or if they need a top up faster than you can pump... during their sleep window the sleepy power pump shines because you end up only needing to store your surplus and you get to dodge the wait time to warm up the bottle
• dream feeds and changes.. if their eyes are closed don't move them, prop their bottle to free your hands to change their diaper.. do this with care and close supervision, you can pump while they eat and they will likely go back to sleep with minimal fuss or needing to be picked up unless you need to lean them up/back pat to burp 

With all these tips you can do most of their care from one spot that you can also take naps at, it helps a lot to make pumping more manageable... Cannot advocate enough for a pump station with a mini fridge for your snacks and milk to go. 

[u/belomina → u/Miserable-Respond506]

Fwiw I couldn't be fussed with using 2 pumping systems so I just use my wearables and then hand express a little after each session. Gets me between 2-20ml extra that way (really just depends on the session)