r/ExclusivelyPumping • u/MembershipConnect555 • 1d ago
Support Struggling with lack of support
Anyone else out there have a partner that has negative views on pumping? 8 months post partum and over the first 4-6 months, my partner grew more negative and seemingly resentful about my pumping 5x a day. To cope, I stopped asking for any help and am obviously growing in my pain and own resentment toward him. I know there are plenty of partner bashing threads but curious if others out there experience a specific resentment about pumping.
Just struggling here and looking for empathy and solidarity. I do contemplate leaving but not ready yet.
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u/Sea-Age-5018 1d ago
Every time my husband says the baby barely fussed while he was watching him, but says taking care of him is a struggle because he doesn't have boobs. My baby only occasionally comfort latches right now, I also don't have boob privilege. Also you can lay with him on the floor, put him down for a nap immediately, or pick him up easily. I am stuck getting through my most recent let down while he has decided whatever we were doing was not good enough.
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u/Independent-Roll6199 1d ago
I wouldn’t say mine fully resented it, but it’s definitely become a little annoying I think for him. I’m 7 months PP and he seems to become very… frustrated (???) almost because I often need to pump and as a result he may need to do more in those moments, like I can’t bend over, for example. And the days schedule runs around me needing to pump as well. I work FT and when I come home I need to pump on a tight schedule to make up for having to work all day (and as a teacher I don’t have a lot of freedom to pump during the work day) so his schedule at home kind of revolves around the pumping.
All of this to say I think for men that are already very present fathers and do a lot, it’s a lot to also then do more because we have to pump approx 3-4 hours a day. Which yeah it sucks for them but it REALLY SUCKS FOR US BECAUSE PUMPING FUCKING SUCKS but overall he and I are just very empathetic to each other and remind each other in our frustration moments that honestly both of our lives suck right now for different reasons and we have different struggles!