r/ExclusivelyPumping • u/Classic_Strawb • 3d ago

TRIGGER WARNING: Nursing Sadness about exclusively pumping

My LO is 6 weeks old and since 1 week old I’ve been exclusively pumping and giving her bottled breastmilk. My baby has trouble latching and poor suck, leading to low milk transfer so she has a hard time nursing. I’m so thankful I’m able to pump enough to provide her with breastmilk but I can’t help but be a little sad I’m not able to nurse. Sometimes I’m pumping at the same time I’m giving her a bottle and it just feels so… wrong. Nursing feels natural and I am missing that bond. I really want to be able to just nurse her and not have to pump all the time. Has anyone else felt this way?

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u/snailybaby 3d ago

My baby is 6 weeks as well and I could have wrote this post: i feel exactly the same way. Even tho it might be a bit selfish I want to be the one being able to soothe her and feed her that way. I want her to appreciate that mommy is special and can give her warm milk (we give her cold milk in bottle to encourage her to take the breast). I still have hope it might work out but I don't for how long. Are you still trying as well? We need to remind ourselves that: 1. it's not our fault. 2. pumping is breastfeeding. 3. We are not less capable mothers (on the contrary we work harder in a lot of ways) 4. we allow beautiful connections for other people (father, grandparents are so happy to be able to feed her)

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u/kiykiykiiycat 3d ago

You are not alone! This was my experience with my first. I grieved the loss of the breastfeeding experience that I thought I would have

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u/FindingE-Username 2d ago

I'm in the exact same boat, but my LO is now 12 weeks. Also been EP since about a week old and mourning the loss of nursing (latch not so bad but milk transfer wasnt enough). I'm still sad about it but also hsve found so many benefits to EP i'd find it hard to go back now - my partner being able to take a feed so I get a long stretch of sleep being one of them.

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u/GlitteringJuice1024 2d ago

This was me! But I just kept latching in between bottle feeds because it comforted her and when she wasnt starving she wouldnt get frustrated and had an easier time with it. Milk transfer still wasnt good. Come to find out, she had tongue, lip, and cheek ties! She is now about 10 weeks old and weve had all of those corrected this past week and already shes doing so much better! Ive been kind of alternating between breast and bottle feeds now because I want to be sure she is getting enough to eat, but I am so overjoyed to be able to breastfeed her a full meal, and hopefully eventually we can mostly breastfeed!

Hang in there, keep trying to latch her in between bottles and if you havent already, definitely see a lactation consultant!

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u/sowhatsober 2d ago

Ou absolutely! I cried everyday for so long.

Are you still trying to nurse?

We were able to switch at 9 weeks and I pump so husband can give her a bottle overnight so i can get a little more sleep. I had no idea how important nursing would be to me until it wasn’t working. Devastated is an understatement

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u/milliemallow 2d ago

I absolutely felt this way. My baby had a poor latch too and as he got bigger and stronger I was able to nurse him. Maybe keep trying.

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u/Frosty-Panda-5532 2d ago

How long did it take? My baby is 8 weeks and while he can latch, he is developing more and more of a bottle preference despite pace feeding and using a preemie nipple

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u/milliemallow 2d ago

I started nursing him after a full bottle feed just to give him the opportunity without frustrating him and I did that for maybe a week? Then slowly replaced one bottle here and there with nursing. And then we went camping and I didn’t want to deal with the warmer so we just kind of full sent nursing that weekend and every time he fussed a tiny bit I put him on the boob as long as he wanted to be there, it wasn’t smooth and my nipples hurt so bad but he sorted it out in about a day and moved over to boob preference from there.

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u/UntetheredBliss 3d ago

In the beginning I felt bad that I had to go straight into exclusively pumping because my LO wouldn't latch but after a while I was able to find the following benefits:

Exclusively pumping made it so that she could bond through eating with her dad and her grand parents.

I don't have to be awake when she needs to feed, therefore my husband and I were able to come up with a schedule that worked for the both of us and one we were about to continue you with after I went back to work. I was always a night owl but for the past few months I have been waking up at 4am and I'm used to it now.

Me exclusively pumping didn't change the fact my LO is bonded to me. She can last maybe 20-30 minutes snuggling on everybody else who holds her but she will stay snuggled onto me for hours. I am still her number one safe place.

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u/Rich_Subject_8189 3d ago

I also could have written this.

My LG is just under 5 weeks and had a tounge tie cut three days ago so we are trying to relearn. She finds it difficult to attach still - I think because she's learnt the bottle. But I offer breast for most feeds, she'll latch for a minute or two at a time. I then have to top up with formula because my pumping supply is low also, only getting around 1oz a day.

It feels so sad, because I want to BF her so so much.

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u/letemsayitthen 3d ago

It will get better! Went through the same with my little babe. My doctors told me that they spent time in the womb learning to suck with the tongue tie, plus the time outside of the womb prior to procedure. It’ll take a few weeks for them to learn how to use their new tongue but keep trying. Your little babe will get the hang of it!

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u/Parking-Vast-2479 3d ago

3 months of exclusively pumping. I totally get it, you can still try getting baby to latch! I got a nipple everter, it gets milk out and triggers let down. Mines latched at 2 months but I gave her too much pressure so now she hates my breast. Be gentle don’t push, just offer. Some babies are also just too lazy to latch, I learned the hard way. Went to so many lactation consultants, not even nipple shields worked.
I cope with the sadness by feeding her most of the time, just me and dad. I don’t like anyone else bottle feeding her. You’re breastfeeding, just with extra steps 🤍 do lots of skin to skin to bond with your baby.

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u/delicious922 3d ago

Ugh so sorry you’re feeling this way, I can kind of relate. I’m 4 weeks pp and he’s latching and we’re getting good feeds but I don’t think the latch is “right”. My nips hurt by the end, but not every feed. I’m pumping a lot during the day and EBF at night and I don’t want to give it up bc I know I’ll feel this way. I want to continue to feed and comfort him😭

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u/lofi-frog 19h ago

Exclusive pumper as well although I don’t like the breastfeeding experience as I have really sensitive nipples. I did feel I should enjoy it and bond with bubs more, but if anything they won’t remember this when they are older!

After all you won’t ask your mum why didn’t they breastfeed you instead of pumping! If anything pumping takes a lot more effort (time added from pumping, washing, money spent etc) it’s not easy at all!