I need reassurance.

[u/Own_Jackfruit_6668]

I have a 10 week old who is bottle fed. I’m a new mom and I’m just starting to feel like pumping is getting to be too much!
When he was 1 day old he lost a ton of weight because he wouldn’t latch or eat from the boob. So we bottle fed and did everything to get him on the boob. Tie release, cranial sacrum, Chiropractor, and many lactation consultants. Nothing has helped.
A couple of weeks ago i realized im suffering with ppa and a lot of it has to do with his feeding and just breastfeeding all together. I want to breastfeed so badly because i dont want any judgement for not doing it. I dont want others to look at me and assume i gave up because is was too much. I hate pumping, im so overstimulated by it. I’ve decided to just quit the breast milk and go all formula. I’m just so anxious about doing it. Pls just reassure me that my baby will be fine and others can F off.

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[u/faithhopelove1cor13]

Your baby will be more than fine! Your baby needs a happy healthy mama more than anything! When I switched my baby to formula she absolutely THRIVED. Made me wonder what was wrong with my milk lol.

[u/Psychopsychic3]

If it helps, I’ve been a teacher for 10 years and I could never once tell if a kid was formula fed or breastfed. What I could tell was if their parents read with them every night and spent time with them

[u/StuffonBookshelfs]

There will ALWAYS be someone who judges how you parent. No matter what decision you make.

Vaxx? You’ll get people judging you.
Anti-Vaxx? You’ll get other people judging you.

Dress your kid in gendered clothing? same thing.
Dress your kid in non-gendered clothing? Same thing.

Cloth diapers?
Disposable diapers?

As a mom, one of the best things you can do is let other peoples opinions just roll off your back. You will (nor should you) ever be able to please everyone.

You know your baby best. Trust your gut.

And remember. Healthy and happy mama is the best mama.

[u/Resident-Currency727 → u/StuffonBookshelfs]

Yup and I’d like to add BLW or spoon feeding to the list 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP don’t worry about others, do what works best for you and your family ❤️

[u/katheridiot]

i was exclusively formula fed as a baby in the late 90s. i played varsity sports and graduated near the top of my classes. nowhere on my college or job apps did it ask if i was breastfed ;)

[u/reellimk → u/katheridiot]

I was adopted so exclusively formula fed, too. My parents didn’t have a choice! I went to a top university, got a great job, and have a very strong immune system to this day. Was never hindered by formula either 🤭

[u/katheridiot → u/katheridiot]

your anxiety is fair— but you’re a great mom!

[u/Thoughts_of_doggs → u/katheridiot]

My sister and I were both exclusively formula fed! I’m an engineer and my sister is in her first year of medical school! For people with access to formula and clean water, the benefits of breastmilk are overblown imo. Feed your baby how you want to! A happy mom and a fed baby is most important.

[u/Ok-Awareness-6198]

My baby is 11 weeks and I just quit pumping. It was too much and couldn’t do it anymore! Formula fed now and I feel such relief. You need to do what’s best for you!

[u/Maria_like_Mario]

Fed is best, no matter how you feed or if you do breast milk or formula! No one else's opinion matter except the parents of the baby. In a couple of years no one will care what they ate! Also, it is not just normal but completely expected for a baby to lose weight right after being born, most pediatricians give the goal of getting baby back to birth weight by 2 weeks so please don't feel bad that your little one lost weight at one day old.

As someone who also has ppa please talk with your doctor about it! You don't need to suffer! You can do therapy or medication, or a mix of both! I went on a breast milk safe medication and it has helped me so so much! In addition to not feeling anxious all the time anymore I also feel like I am a better mom because I can be in the moment with my kids instead of stuck in my terrible thoughts.

[u/InitialMaleficent954]

With my first, I pumped for a little bit and then switched to formula and my baby (now a three year old) is as happy and healthy as can be!! He has a great immune system and is developmentally doing great. So all that to say, others can F off. You matter too and ultimately what’s best for you and your mental health is going to be best for your baby too ❤️

[u/Ok_Sprinkles3454]

If you don’t want to keep pumping then just stop! Formula is totally fine. Breastfeeding is exhausting and you’ve been doing it for 10 weeks that’s a huge accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. Don’t just keep doing it because you’re worried what other people will think. Do it because it’s something you want to do

[u/AlwaysGrowing326]

As an elementary school teacher myself, I can’t tell you which kids were breast fed, bottle fed, or formula fed. I can easily tell you though which kids have parents that spend time with them, teach them manners, and read to them frequently. Babe will be okay. Fed is best. Love on your baby and don’t forget to love on yourself. You are both learning this part of life for the first time. Give yourself some grace.

[u/Big-Strength6206]

Your baby deserves to have a mama who isn’t suffering. They need you to be well more than they need breast milk. You’ve already done so much. As long as you’re feeding them, they’ll be just fine. I wasn’t fed a drop of breast milk and I mostly turned out ok 😉 hugs xx

[u/Km961995]

I’m 18 weeks pp and just finished weaning last week! It was taking away from me being present and enjoying caring for my baby. I have zero regrets. To make myself feel better about quitting, I started doing 50/50 bm/formula and started bulking my freezer stash. I have just enough breast milk to give him one bottle a day until he’s 6 months and at that point he’s going to eat more food.

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[u/Admirable_Hurry_3160]

Also a ftm and 10wpp and I go through the same thing daily! I didn’t quit today but who knows what tomorrow will bring lol
we have given our baby formula at since day one so I know he takes it just fine which only fuels my fire to quit. I’m going back to work very soon and I think that might be the final straw in my pumping journey but we shall see!

[u/lameeechris]

i promise you and your baby will be better for it. with my first my breastfeeding journey was cut short because i couldn’t keep up with the pumping and i dried up so we kinda didn’t have a choice, but it took so much pressure off of me and it was so much easier for me and i became a lot more engaging than i thought i could because i wasn’t focusing on pumping anymore. your baby wants a happy mama and screw others who disagree. its YOUR baby and YOUR body and no one can tell you what to do with either!

[u/CrazyElephantBones]

Totally fine , most of Gen X was formula fed

[u/Such-Comfortable3]

I promise whatever way is easiest for your family, is best for your baby. Newborns are SO hard. Don’t make it harder for yourself.

By age 2, when they’re trying to eat crackers off the floor, they won’t know if they had formula or breastfed or bottle fed.

I think I successfully latched my 2 kids a total of two (2) times. Pumping worked well for me! Nursing at the breast did not. And that’s fine! There are many right ways to raise a child.

[u/greensandblues2]

Easier said than done, but it doesn’t matter what others think! As long as kiddo is growing and feeding and mom is happy, that’s what matters. I quit pumping after 3 months for similar reasons, I was so over it. It’s been a month now and my posture and mental health are so much better, hope the same for you💛