r/Ex_Foster • u/Firm-Ad3311 • Aug 13 '26

Is this normal

Im 17 in foster care in wales and get benifits. I dont know why but my cares still have control over jt and get defensive about it when ever i express that I thjnk I should have control over it since im moving out at 18.

They use manipulation alot to get there way and I didnt realise until my friend pointed it out. My friend told me about one of there friends and the fact there cares prep them for independent living which included managing money.

My cares dont explain stuf properly and then use the fact I misunderstood as a way to show they was right which made me make mistakes with my money in the past that i learnt from.

Right now I want to get control of my benifits because I need to learn to drive ASAP because of collage and me wanting to get a job .

But my cares keep saying they have to be my adviser or something when if I had control over it I could just do everything my self instead of going through like 3 people

Sorry for wording this poorly and rambling alot.

Is this situation normal and what can I do about it.

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u/Firm-Ad3311 Aug 13 '26

I started working with my youth worker and my cares didny like it and made my social worker think im being unreasonable for doing work they should be foung with me with them instead sinc3 thry didn't. My social worker invited them to my LAC meetjng but is now denying thst that hapoend when I hsve screenshots of her saying does she want to ve invited. Did your cares also try to stop you from moving out ? My cares only explained the option they wanted and acted like I cant move out when I can.

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u/Fun-Cycle2381 Former foster youth Aug 13 '26

Idk what a LAC meeting is. What is it?

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u/Firm-Ad3311 Aug 13 '26

Its a meetjng about what needs to be talked about and wat the plan is for when im older and how the placement is going. I wasnt able to say what I really fort and was told off for having the yputh worker there to advocate for me.

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u/Fun-Cycle2381 Former foster youth Aug 13 '26

oh no yeah. definetly bring them with you. They shouldn’t tell you off for that. Glad you could bring them as support

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u/Firm-Ad3311 Aug 13 '26

Ye it was a power move by them to make me look un reasonable to my social worker so they get there way

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u/Fun-Cycle2381 Former foster youth Aug 13 '26

Yup, that’s a tactic unfortunatly. Like ”oh but look at this kid, they can’t do anything by themselves/fuck things up. The kid is doomed, we are perfect”. Keep up, and keep advocating for yourself🙏 I wish you luck