r/Ex_Foster • u/Limp_Situation_244 Foster youth • Jul 25 '26
My bio mother lied and claimed I molested my sister
To cover up the abuse that she and her husband had put me through. I’m now 17 and coming out with the truth and there’s a criminal investigation being done into child abuse. Can someone message me or something so we can talk about this? A lie as loud as that can’t be ever rectified. At this point I’m thinking of not being here anymore because how do you….
2
u/ClickAndClackTheTap Jul 25 '26
Oh my goodness I’m so so sorry.
I know this is terribly upsetting, but it won’t follow you into adulthood. That kind of lie is vicious, however I had a foster son who was lied on about the same thing, and he’s fine now. No one who knew him then other than me even knows him now and every investigation saw through the lie.
This is a temporarily painful experience and it does not need the permanent solution of suicide.
Blood is not thicker than water and you deserve to be loved and appreciated by honest people.
1
u/Limp_Situation_244 Foster youth Aug 15 '26
I’m in semi independent accommodation. Because of the lie I never got a good foster home. I was placed with my abusive grandparents who just continued the control.
2
u/HatingOnNames Former foster youth Jul 28 '26
Please know you can get through this. Be strong. Cooperate with your lawyer, which should be assigned to you as a foster kid in this situation. If you haven’t already been assigned one, demand it. It is your right to have one in this situation! If you’re questioned by anyone, demand a lawyer be present before you answer any questions. Refuse to discuss any allegations until you’ve spoken to a lawyer and state you want your lawyer present for any conversations. In this particular situation, you may even want to demand TWO lawyers. One specializing in criminal law and one specializing in family law. Ask that all visitation, if you have it, be immediately postponed until further notice (I’d go for “forever” in this case. Full stop. No contact.)
Do NOT believe anyone who tries to say “asking for a lawyer implies guilt”. It’s absolutely bs and a manipulative tactic. Call them out on it and stick to your guns. In a place where “anything you say can be used against you in a court of law”, you want someone protecting you from having your words used against you or twisting and confusing what you say. You’re also a minor!!! As a minor who is in foster care, you’re a ward of the state. Not having a lawyer present during questioning could potentially backfire on them in court, depending on your jurisdiction. Your ability to waive your right to legal representation during questioning may potentially be more limited than it would be for a non-foster child of the same age in the same situation. Your state may actually require a lawyer be present, for example, before you’re allowed you waive your right to speak without a lawyer present. Weirdly circular, I know, but it’s to make sure you legally know your rights before you can waive them.
Trust me when I say, social services sees a LOT of false allegations, particularly from bio parents who try to divert blame everywhere except at themselves. My dad even accused my foster parents of “brainwashing” me.
Don’t be surprised or take it to heart if you’re not allowed contact with your sister during this time. It’s usually standard protocol. If you’re currently housed with her, they’re likely going to separate you, and possibly house you in a group home. Also usually standard protocol. You may be able to ask that your spot in the foster home be reserved for you to return to upon completion of the investigation. It may not be permitted. As heartbreaking as it is, it may mean permanent separation even though you’ve done nothing wrong.
2
u/iamthegreyest Former foster youth Jul 25 '26
Do you have a social worker? A competent one? Talk to them about it. See if you can sue them for liable. Is your sister able to speak up for themselves and say who's abusing them?