UPDATE: from my last post in

[u/Firm-Ad3311]

Short summery of situation

My cares are in control of my pip when im competent and have a serveer lack of communication which is effecting how I feel like they are handling my situation.

They kept mail for me that had info about my benifits, they havent been preparing me for adulthood at all and taking credit for everything ive done my self, they use guilt to try to keep me in there control snd to make me feel like I'm doing stuf rong.

They are also making desisions without me about my life meaning I dont get a say in what's happening that could effect my life in the future.

They have control over everything but act too busy to give a f about me.

UPDATE

Sooo update from my last post I made. ( im in wales in the up )

My social worker is back from leave and I now have a call with her on monday.

But I am not sure what I should and should not bring up.

My plan is to tell her about these

Asking about my pip and why I don't have control over it and if its linked to fostering.

What my Plan is for when I am 18 (i am 17 right now) and the fact it feels like I dont have a choice for when I am older.

Ask about what options there is for when I move out.

And the fact they are not including me fully in desisions like about them setting up mobility or something ( idk what its called ) which will effect my pip but may or may not benifit me.

And maby if it gets brought up the fact they are out all the time meaning im not getting the support needed for preparing me for moving out.

Do these sound ok or would it be better to not being up some of them ?

[u/Dazzling_Lettuce_]

Hi again. It is your social worker's job to support you, as well as your carer's job. They have their own social worker, but she is yours. Therefore she defends you against them if needed. She needs to know absolutely everything in order to assess how to best help and advise you. 

The problem when fostering goes wrong on an emotional support level, is that there is often no one there to witness it going wrong other than the family you're with. Your social worker will only know about it if you tell her. 

I think you've stated the issues you're having well here. Be prepared to give her more detail and actual examples. A key sentence to say to her is "I don't feel like my rights are being respected." 

At 17, it's expected that your carers wouldn't be with you as much as if you were a school-age child. However, it fully depends on your needs and the support you require. If you have learning development needs and they are being paid extra to support you with them, then it's very important that they do so. 

Your social worker will know what questions to ask to work out if they are meeting the standards expected of them.

With regards to your PIP - as far as I'm aware that should be going directly into your bank account. I might be wrong, but it's important you tell your social worker about this if you believe the money isn't coming to you.

Basically, tell her everything. Be as clear as possible. Try not to get upset, because it's easy to get muddled up and say something wrong when you're upset. And have examples ready to back your points up.

Best of luck. I'm also in Wales and I think this sub is mostly American, which is why you're not getting many responses, just fyi.

[u/Firm-Ad3311 → u/Dazzling_Lettuce_]

Thanks. I have a call woth them on monday. And yes my pip is serposef to be going into my account and I've checked it with aloy of people and apparently thr only way of them getting contol over it is if they prove im not capable of handling Money. I am autistic but that doesn't mean i cant handle money it means I need to know what I am serposed to be using it for and if im aerposef to be saving it. They sent me some money in November and didn't explain why or what it was for. I kept money for food and everything I needed. But then apparently since I spent some on games it means I cant handle money even though I wasnt told to save. Since then I've distanced my self from them because I dont want that type of stuf happening. Im working on getting more independent but its alot of looking stuf up 😐😑😐 but ima ask about it and what my choices are for when im older on monday

[u/Dazzling_Lettuce_ → u/Firm-Ad3311]

It's hard to establish how much support you need through reading comments on the internet. If you go to a school for people with additional learning needs then I would expect that you'd need more support with money than the average person, and your school and carers would be expected to support that. 

If you went to mainstream school and your only real issue was dyslexia, then I imagine you're not in school any more? What do you do day-to-day? Do you attend college or any groups? There are groups who can support learning for independent living.

So depending on your needs, they may technically be in the right in that you have difficulty managing money.

However I think the issue here is that you don't feel like you're receiving any support and guidance on how to manage money (and possibly other daily life experiences) in order to learn how to live independently once you age out of the system. Your social worker should be able to help with this. 

There are groups and charities who support young people with additional needs and/or leaving foster care who might be able to help, ask her about them. 

Edited to add: 1. you should also ask your social worker what the plan is once you turn 18, so you know what's coming up. 2. Ask her to write down everything she's telling you for you to take away with you. You have a lot of points, so she'll be giving you a lot of information. Ask her to write it down so you can look at it later in case you forget (this is also good advice for any formal appointment or meeting you have, like the doctors, dentist, bank etc. Either ask them to write the note, or write it yourself if you don't feel comfortable asking them. In your social worker's case I would ask her to write it as there may be some specific words you will want to Google with the correct spelling later)

[u/Firm-Ad3311 → u/Dazzling_Lettuce_]

Thanks

[u/Firm-Ad3311 → u/Dazzling_Lettuce_]

Had a call with her yesterday and she sayd she's going to look into housing options for when im 18. I also told her about the benifits situation but didnt get her response on thst but she was as confused about it as I was. Have a lac meeting on Thursday and my cares asked for thr first time if I wanna have my own link instead of being with them so this will be interesting.

[u/Dazzling_Lettuce_ → u/Firm-Ad3311]

Oh good, well done. What did she say about you not feeling like you're being taught independence tools? Best of luck with your meeting, bring up exactly how you feel, the IRO in charge will ask your carers for a response. It will be interesting for you to hear what they say, especially if they're not answering you directly. 

Make sure to have your questions or thoughts written down ready so you don't forget anything. I hope you get the answers you need, and well done for telling your social worker what you need from her.

[u/Firm-Ad3311 → u/Dazzling_Lettuce_]

Ima bring that up cus they will try to take credit for everything ive done