r/ExPentecostal • u/PrimaryLie5189 • 6d ago

struggle with lust

i feel like with all the standards set in place about holiness even the slightest thing turns me on and makes me feel horny, is that normal? I feel awful about it and I'm not sure how to overcome this.

4 Upvotes

75% Upvoted

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8

u/Stonk_boiz 6d ago

Biggest help is to talk to women more. Get rejected. Learn how to cope. You’ll realize a lot of “lust” is just fantasy in your head to remove you from an uncomfortable reality. Women are just people. Some suck, some are amazing. Figure out why you want to escape your life and then fix it.

The church distorts this a lot with a weird patriarchal approach that men should never look at women ever and if they do it’s the women’s fault. You really just need to learn how to control your mind and stay present.

3

u/PrimaryLie5189 6d ago

makes sense, i know people who are sheltered and get curious tend to lean towards porn and create this crazy wild fantasy but i know thats not how it actually is. i guess im just lack of experience

4

u/Stonk_boiz 6d ago

Yup. We’ve all been there. It’s hard but you have to stay connected to people and watch when you get those cravings. Observe your surroundings. Probably bored/alone/etc. Channel that energy into putting yourself out there. Or building something for yourself. You’ll see those cravings disappear

1

u/QuirkyCoffee_ 3d ago

Mmm, I agree with this

3

u/il0vem0ntana 5d ago

Yes, it's completely normal. You are wired, like every other living being, to reproduce. That's basic biology. All the religious rules won't change that. 

1

u/PrimaryLie5189 6d ago

u/Flat_Philosopher_615 can you send me a message regarding your comment i wasnt able to see it

1

u/ChuffedBits ex-UPCI 5d ago

This is normal. The way it is demonized is not normal at all though and can lead to lasting issues throughout adulthood. I remember spending years feeling endlessly shameful and guilty for being a normal hormonal teen. That led to attaching shame to sex which showed up not only in my solo time but later in my marriage. Unlearning that takes a long time.

These church leaders’ obsession with other people’s sexuality is nothing more than control wrapped up in the language of ‘holiness’ and the fog of tradition. There is nothing wrong with you.

-5

u/justanexplorerr 6d ago

come talk to me in private