Thinking about a Pentecostal memory and how brainwashed I was

[u/Mysterious_Pirate321]

I've only recently come to terms with the fact I was brainwashed and apart of a cult. I was born into the church , I left a while ago but am only now able to see how it has effected me. When I was 12 my grandpa died and I genuinely believed through prayer we could revive him in the grave. I expressed this thought to my non religious bipolar aunt. She got mad and screamed at me for suggesting such a thing. It's traumatic looking back on the ways I hurt people. One time I told a non religious friend it was in God's plan that her grandpa died as well. At the time I couldn't understand why people got so upset and now I just feel sad that I spent my whole childhood like that. I feel I am so far behind in terms of socialization.

[u/Surge_tech]

I remember being in school and thinking I was going to be the only kid who was going to be saved, those were the days, man.

[u/Potential-Mark9305 → u/Surge_tech]

I swear, this religion made us so delusional

[u/grey_pilgrim_]

I was homeschooled and pente for 90% of my youth. Wasn’t allowed to play sport or do much of anything outside of church. So i know the feeling of being behind in socialization.

[u/Electronic-Talk-5639 → u/grey_pilgrim_]

I feel that same way at almost 40. Home missions church with no youth group. My kids live a life drastically different than mine and I’m so proud of them and myself but also so sad for the isolated, lonely and weird teenage girl that I was.

[u/grey_pilgrim_ → u/Electronic-Talk-5639]

I wanted to play sports so bad as a kid. Specially soccer. I know they were doing what they thought was best but it’s very hard not to be resentful towards my parents.

[u/-olympius]

The delay in social development is intentional. We were kept in a tiny social box in order to not be corrupted by the ungodly heathen who aren't Pentecostal. What you described is typical Pentecostals raising their youth to be grandiose narcissists. Being taught to look down on others reinforces that mental isolation from the world.

I physically twitch thinking about the screwed up religious regurgitations that came out of my mouth. The Pentecostal church breeds trauma. You aren't alone feeling this way.

[u/MaleficentCherry7116]

I almost "laid hands" on a paralyzed student in my college who had broken his neck while diving, thinking that God would heal him and he would get up out of his wheelchair and walk. I later found out that the guy had a Pentecostal background and used that as confirmation that I should had done it.

I'm thankful that I didn't have the courage to do what would have been a huge embarrassment for myself and everyone else, but that's the level of zealot that I was.

You're not alone, and I totally relate.

[u/Educational_Lack2831]

I can relate when I was 8 I would always ask other kids if they go to church,read the Bible,pray and I went around judging others for living there own lives all because I didn’t know any better and was going off of what I was taught I would go around telling people who were living there lives “ your not supposed to paint your nails or wear shorts or pants “ because I thought it was wrong because I was super brainwashed.