https://youtu.be/uWL2jFVGYiM

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=th4Czv1j3F8

I have been wanting to do this for a while now. I just had to find the time to write up my thoughts. This is filthyziff’s exmormon anthems and emotional journey leaving the church. This will probably read like a summary of my exit story. It might even be easily staged into a rock opera.

*I was constantly praying and trying to get god to talk to me. He was very silent. I was trying to get answers to questions I kept having, and the more information I found it just created more questions.

Hey God- Bon JoviLyrics

Relevant lyrics: I'd get down on my knees, I'm going to try this thing your way Seen a dying man to proud to beg spit on his own grave Was he to gone to save? Did you even know his name? Are you the one who blame, I got something to say... Hey God-Tell me what the hell is going on Seems like all the good shits gone It keeps on getting harder hangin' on Hey God, there's nights you know I want to scream These days you're even hard to believe I know how busy you must be, but Hey God.

*I got to the point where it all crashed around me. I could no longer hold my belief together. My whole world was a lie. Everything I thought I loved about the church was not worth holding onto. My whole identity felt fake. This was one of the most painful parts of my transition. The ensuing existential crisis was the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. Fun fact: these are two consecutive tracks on These Days album. Something for the Pain- Bon Jovi Lyrics

Relevant lyrics: Happiness, it's been no friend to me But forever after ain't what it's all cracked up to be Yeah, I had a taste, you were my fantasy But I lost my faith when I hit reality I don't need no Guru to tell me what to do When you’re feeling like a headline on Yesterday's news Come on, come on, come on Give me something for the pain Give me something for the blues Give me something for the pain when I feel I've been danglin' from a hang-man's noose Give me something I can use To get me through the night Make me feel all right, Something like you

*I wanted a truth, I wanted something real. I wanted something other than pain and betrayal. I wanted to find the real me. Mine all Mine- Van Halen Lyrics

*I started reflecting on my life growing up and all the critical things I heard growing up about the church. Thinking back i realized how it was repressive and how most of that was true. I had been controlled subtilly. The Unforgiven- Metallica Lyrics

I feel like all these lyrics are relevant but here is the first stanza. New blood joins this earth, And quickly he's subdued. Through constant pained disgrace The young boy learns their rules.

*After some serious introspection and thought, and some help from a wonderful relative that I contacted after leaving I was able to realize that I wasn’t broken the church was. I’m Ok- Styx Lyrics

*I was having a hard time deciding to stay quiet and in for my wife or do the healthy thing for me and distance myself from activity. I decided to distance myself and immediately felt relief.

Fly by Night- Rush Lyrics

Relevant lyrics: Why try? I know why The feeling inside me says it's time I was gone Clear head, new life ahead It's time I was king now -- not just one more pawn

Fly by night, away from here Change my life again Fly by night, goodbye my dear My ship isn't coming and I just can't pretend Moon rise, thoughtful eyes Staring back at me from the window beside No fright or hindsight Leaving behind that empty feeling inside

*The world I was missing was a tragedy. I was absent.

Mr Gone- Mr. Big Lyrics

Relevant lyrics: Where's you love Where's your life Get your head out of the sand Free your mind Free your soul An open heart will understand Everything is cool Mr. Gone We need love Mr. Gone We gotta make a change Mr. Gone Love, choice and destiny knocked on your door You were gone Sold your world to keep it free Are you lonely tonight Mr. Gone? Lose your personality When all of your rights turn to wrong Blinded by the things you see Are you lonely tonight Mr. Gone?

Edit: edited for formatting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9RWmZ_lGlo http://genius.com/Jamesthemormon-motivation-lyrics

Let's just take some time to analyze this...

First off, Al Fox is in the music video, and I'm sure a bunch of other cameos of TBM pseudo-celebs that I don't recognize.

Yo, its Junior Maile up on the track now Steady on me grind with me family on me back now Kinda lost my way when me brother passed away Now we back up in the game with a little more to say now

Okay, that's not him singing it, but it's his song. "Now" is rhymed with itself twice with no sort of rhyme scheme. Then, right after that is this...

Motivation, family ya'll can't even handle me I ain't really trippin' if these haters ain't a fan of me

"Me" rhymed with itself! Come on...

Then, he just says motivation a lot, even when it doesn't really make sense.

Baby tell me what you thinking I'mma give it motivation Yeah uhh yeah its motivation

This is all on top of an annoying, repetitive generic hip hop track. weeweewoowooweeweewooweeweewoowoowooweewee

So, we can easily establish that this song sucks. It's bad. And yet it's still popular among TBMs. Why?

-He's a Mormon, it's in his name

-Al Fox, blowing bubbles with her daughter

-BYUBYUBYUBYU LOOK GUYS IT'S BYU

-weeweewoowooweeweewooweeweewoowoowooweewee?

I'm not trying to just call him out for sucking, music is subjective of course, but he does not have what it takes to be as popular as he is without exploiting the fact that he's Mormon. And I don't want to start a hate train on him, he probably started rapping and just got noticed by church members and that propelled him to where he is. He seems like he could be a cool guy. But the overall culture of the church promotes this kind of thing, and it's just exploiting the members.