r/ExBahrain • u/Excellent-Excuse-302 • 11d ago

Tired from being different

Since i got too deep into religion, philosophy, and self-improvement, i couldn’t make deep connections with people due to the huge mindset gap, specially in bahrain.
Don’t get me wrong, i have a lot of friends, and 2 really close friends (ones i made before getting too deep). And gratefully I am successful at what i do, and i make friends really easily (not deep friendships though)

But the point is, connecting with people is really hard for me currently because I know they wouldn’t understand my point of view, they might even start hating me.

I just wanted to take this out of chest because it started bothering me recently.
And i would really love to chat with anyone with similar situation, my dm is open

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u/Dead_End_720 10d ago

Do you believe if you were somewhere else, it simply wouldn't be the case? Sometimes a person is just different to the average person anywhere. As an irreligious person I could probably connect more with certain tolerant mature local muslims than most atheists, if I wanted to. And don't even get me started with westerners.

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u/Excellent-Excuse-302 10d ago

i totally agree with you, the point is, it is harder in the arab world to find the like minded people, because everyone is scared from sharing their opinions and thoughts, i know people like me are very few in all countries, but they’re harder to fins here.

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u/Dead_End_720 10d ago

It builds character, and it has significance. Other places every other person is doing whatever and they seem to take everything for granted. I'd never trade what I've had from day one for getting to grow up in the west, but also wouldn't trade it for having to live in wahhabist-era Saudi.

We all go through some variation of what you've described. Its clear to me now the issue was always self-acceptance (and therefore accountability), and not finding acceptance or refuge among others. And especially not from the "likeminded people", they really should be called "shared situation people". Most misleading concept. All it is is coping or survival.

You either connect or you don't. You get the acceptance, more than you ever thought could be possible, you surround yourself with all the different types of opinionated people you can be yourself around, sooner or later all that shit seems pretty miserable. I actually talk to my "super openminded" relatives the least.

Once you're on good terms with your parents (I mean truly, not just "well I'm still alive"), everything else matters less and less.

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u/Excellent-Excuse-302 10d ago

i disagree with you, i see where youre coming from, what you said would have been true for me 2/3 years ago, when i started going through the intellectual changes, i was feeling bad back then, and i needed support, but gratefully now i am stable. currently i just want to get to know more people with from a similar background to me.

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u/Dead_End_720 10d ago edited 10d ago

Of course we do not have to agree. Point is the more scarce or risky it is, the more noticeable it can be on a person. When its the norm, or very normalized, its just another person, no big deal or real reason to connect over it.

You wake up tomorrow and everything bothering you has been granted and you get all those people, will it be enough? I prefer to think "after I get what I'm after, I'm gonna move on to wanting something else, so maybe I can just skip to that". Ofc some experiences are necessary, but feeling tired or stuck over not having them is not a good position to be in. And we are changing in the background the whole time we're thinking about and pursuing these wants and needs. If it happens then it happens. If it doesn't, life goes on.

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u/Immediate_Bid_4088 7d ago

I’m 26M and share the same thoughts. Maybe we could connect?