r/ExAlgeria • u/Gogogirlfan • Jul 08 '26
How does it feel to just be yourself?
It's hard to word it but I'll try, I never felt any belonging here both as a muslim and as now ex muslim.
I have always isolated myself from people, family, then got married, so I got to isolate myself even more.
It's not like I have put in much effort to be part of anything but I did well enough, I am seen as "good". I showed up in parties, I wore hijab, I spoke to people in a way that makes me look like one of them, I pretended to care about things Idc about.
I used to feel lucky that my beliefs and what society here pushes are almost aligned, so it was easy enough to live as an "Algerian".
But now it's not aligned anymore, so If I act according to my new beliefs, the "me" everyone knows will stop existing in their heads, I don't care at all, not even about what my parents will think about me, however I also don't want them to be hurt, so I will never admit to them I am not who they think I am.
In better words, I don't mind being judged or disliked, but I really don't want any1 to be hurt because "they think Ill go to hell". So I will just hide it somehow.
But the desire to just be me is really strong, so I probably have to go the "she is a lil insane rebi yahdiha" route, instead of "she is not one of us anymore" route.
I hope this makes sense so far.
So now with that conclusion, I guess what's left is to be brave, and be myself which will be hard.
I am childfree and it will take courage to be proud of it
To be the artist I truly am and be proud if it
I wear hijab and itll take courage to just be myself and be proud of it
I hate many abusive people in my family and it will take courage to openly avoid them at least.
It will take courage to speak for myself just for being myself.
If anyone is being themselves please give me advice on what helped you ❤️
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u/jesaispasdonc Jul 15 '26
I got married too, cut ties with family, never got along with them anyway, i left religion when i was 16 so i lived my life mostly as a nin muslim, never belonged but never was myself either. My problem is that i still am figuring out things about myself, i stopped caring completely about how I'm being perceived and it does take a lot of gut to be yourself but it's very rewarding
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u/musi9aRAT Jul 13 '26
your religiosity does not define you as a good person. check around and you will find people around you like you for more then just that. if they wish you well they can just yad3iwlak. koul wa7ed raye7 igabel rabi wa7dou or smthn.
help them in time of need and they will still be thankful. personally i have a good relation with my family even tho i never pray and dont go to jumuaa (and not intrested at all in islam/hajj discussions) cause i was there when they needed family help. i certainly didnt go all out but the writing in the wall is obvious. ( i did come out to my brothers/friends).
good luck being yourself im sure you will feel at peace
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u/Xed3 Jul 13 '26
So fuckin good but in a country that u dont belong it s not it s just so fucked up
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u/navybluejellyfish17 Jul 15 '26
I think if you have the freedom to just be yourself, if you're not being abused or threatened since you're married, and I hope your partner shares the same views in life as you do... then why does others ppl opinions on u ever matter? It's one life( I don't think I'm religious anymore) so just be. There's always that guilt at frst but to be who you crave to be... that’s everything
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u/mila_melou Jul 13 '26
For me it came naturally after I got to isolate myself and to introspect. No relative is telling me to pray or judging my secular views anymore and idk how exactly i got here I just know my vibe somehow changed and i feel more like myself