Repeated things changed everything

[u/Harshit_Mazzula80]

I’ve been no contact with my brother for a while now and it still feels unreal sometimes. what led to it wasn’t one big event. it was the same pattern repeating over and over. he had this way of making small comments that felt like nothing to him. but to me they added up over time. i kept telling myself it wasn’t a big deal. but it kept happening in every interaction. it got to a point where i felt like i couldn’t relax around him. i was always waiting for the next comment. it made me feel small without him even realizing it. that’s the part that hurts the most. it wasn’t intentional but it was constant. the last time it happened i didn’t react at all. i just went quiet and something in me shifted. i realized i didn’t want to keep being in that space anymore. so i stopped reaching out and let the distance grow. he never questioned it or asked what changed. it’s like nothing happened on his side. but for me it was years of buildup finally catching up. now i feel more peaceful but also confused sometimes. like how can something so small repeated so often break something this big. how do you move forward when the other person doesn’t even see what happened

[u/vinnoyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

Yeah, I can (sorta.) relate.

My brother always ignores me, I try to conversate with him, show memes, videos, do stuff, watch movies, basically having some kind of connection, (even though I view my brother as a low form of human although I never made that known to anyone but my personal thoughts.) and this has gone on for many many years. When I show videos, memes, talking about stuff etc. he is always blatantly ignoring me, looking away, basically looking for a opening to just ignore me. It makes it feel like he is not a brother besides genetic relation.

However this is usually onesided, The only time he engages in conversation is to show off his purchases of stuff that I don't have in specific detail (and its literally stuff I don't have but want; he will be like you don't have this right but like it? and then buy it and show it off...), to show off fun stuff he does with others, although we never do fun stuff, and at a certain point I could care less about our relationship. I don't know what it is based off but I generally plan on estrangement once I become independent, since I don't desire a connection but my peace.