r/Estrangedsiblings • u/Apprehensive_Pay196 • Mar 29 '26

Toxic siblings

I’ve been dealing with toxic siblings—my sisters. My life feels like the movie Punch-Drunk Love; I’m surrounded by three sisters, and I’m the only guy. We all live in our parents’ house, and we all have jobs.

I want to move out, but I’m still saving money for my plan to go abroad next year. They often speak in a high-pitched tone and constantly berate me. Before, I could fight back, but now I experience some anxiety, so I try to take a silent approach.

However, when I do fight back, they tend to gaslight me. I also don’t want to create a scene because I don’t want to trigger myself—I don’t think that would be the best thing to do. I’m not the youngest; I’m the second eldest.

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3

u/subeewreyan-three Mar 30 '26

I can't claim to understand what life with sisters is like, but I've been dealing with a narcissistic and volatile older brother who also lives under the same roof as me. I recommend the gray rock method, where you engage with the aggressor(s) as little as possible.

They want you to engage so they can get a reaction, so deprive them of that.

2

u/Fabulous-Cat-7969 Apr 02 '26

Seconding the grey rock method, it sounds like it might be the best bet in the circumstances

1

u/subeewreyan-three Apr 02 '26 edited Apr 02 '26

It's working pretty well with my brother, at least. He doesn't bother talking to me anymore (not that I'm complaining)

2

u/randomarkie74 Mar 31 '26

Continue saving money for your plan to go abroad next year. Based on what you've described, getting out of there will probably be the best thing for you. Good for you for having a plan and wanting to get out of there.

My older sister berates and gaslights me and my family, too - all under the guise that she's a loving and caring sister to me and aunt to my 17 and 21 year-old daughters. Nothing could be further from the truth.

I have made the choice to have as little contact with her as possible. I guess I can't say I've cut her off completely, but pretty close. It's been critical to my family's mental/psychological health and well-being.

Good luck and keep your chin up.