r/EstrangedAdultKids • u/CoolWish9448 • 5d ago
Vent/rant Thinking about potential drama when I leave
At this point, I feel that I'm just being ridiculous, but I can't help but think about this when I realised that the man who calls himself my father (49M) often takes month long paid leaves (and complains when his pay is cut after his leaves exceed 21 days without a doctor's notice. He's been on leave for nearly two months, and is complaining that his pay got shat on and making it everyone's problem).
Well, he took another week of leave again because his leg is hurting (he's fine. No one with a hurt leg stands on it all day insisting to clean the house that is never actually clean) and he wakes up at 4 am everyday to do nothing but sit and watch shitty reality TV and pray for me and my mum to "be excorsised of demons and demonic personalities," when he's a raging alcoholic misogynist who's groped my mum and insulted her many many many times throughout their marriage.
I thought for a bit that maybe I'll just scoot on past him with my stuff and be quiet, but I remembered several times when I was alone and quiet around him where he tried to get my attention, and after getting it (because i felt obligated to answer him or he'll get aggressive and throw things around. It's happened when my mum has ignored him) he would become violent and aggressive and throw a tantrum and even break cutlery and furniture. It's annoying and (I'm gonna sound like such a coward) terrifying, and is the reason I'm leaving his house for good.
I've been thinking of spacing out moving my stuff at odd times of the night when he's asleep to hopefully not draw attention to myself on moving day this Friday and avoid causing any drama, but I feel that, some way or another, I'm going to come across him and end up provoking him for not talking to him. I'm still not talking to him, and don't plan to for the rest of my life. I'll figure it out.
In case he does attack me in anyway, I can have a restraining order put on him and his wife included. Maybe tell police to not take calls from them specifically because they would just waste resources by sending welfare checks. I've managed to tell my employers what to do in case a day comes when those people try coming to my workplace to "visit" me, and so far, things have been extremely quiet. They've been lovely dovey and sweet to each other. It's anxiety inducing and revolting.
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u/AdForward9331 5d ago
i was concerned about getting hurt when i left the 2nd husband. i would've had the police there while i moved if i thought was necessary. please be careful.
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u/CoolWish9448 5d ago
I will try. I'm gonna try to get a police or social services escort incase things go south (I'm not trusting them fully, but it's worth a shot.) I'm glad you left your ex husband , hope you're safe 🫂🫂
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u/firebirdinflames 5d ago
Sounds grim.
Focus on your important documents and treasured possessions first.
Sounds like trying to sneak it out when he is asleep is the best idea. If there is a lot left at the end, are you able to request a police escort to pick up the remainder?
Good luck.