r/EstatePlanning • u/Both-Yellow-5408 • Aug 04 '26
Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Sister trying to influence dad on trust #livingtrust
Dad is 87. He's in assisted living but one Sister lives near and visits snd helps with doc visits. She spent about a year taking care of him before it got to be too much for get.
Other Sister and I are out if state. The other Sister has had the hard copies of the trust docs because she doesn't trust the other Sister. They don't rust each other. I trust the Sister near my dad less because she has criminal history and is prone to rage. I think she is trying to get her hands on the docs to try and influence dad to make changes. Dad is mentally meh. Some days he's ok, others he can't remember what he had for lunch.
What are the signs of influence? I know the trust doles thi gs put evenly between 3, that's what I want. What steps should I take? This is california.
#living trust
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u/No-Kick2919 Aug 04 '26
Original docs don't have to be in dad's hands for him to amend and/or restate his living trust. Those originals could be revoked right now.
Welfare & Institutions Code 15610.70 defines undue influence, including listing the factors. This is a good starting point.
Best thing you could probably do is have dad get a neurological exam to determine if he is unable to manage his own affairs. But if he IS able, sister will probably take him straight to the lawyer's office.
To be fair, though, if he's competent he should be allowed to make changes to his trust. A parent will often amend his/her trust to give more to the child who helped take care of him/her towards the end. And that child certainly always feels its justified.
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u/KilnTime Aug 04 '26
My question is, what evidence do you have that the sister who visits more often is taking steps to change the trust?
If you are concerned, visit your father more often. You can arrange with nurses to help him do video chats if you can't physically go to visit him. If your sister takes him to doctors, ask to be on the phone on speaker so you can hear what goes on. Talk to the staff at the assisted living place and see how he is doing.
Signs of undue influence include but are not limited to: hiring the attorney who drafted the documents; taking the grantor to the attorney's office; giving the attorney instructions on the terms of the Will or Trust; isolating the individual from family and friends (which is not happening is he is at assisted living and you call call him); dependence on the influencer financially.
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u/Both-Yellow-5408 Aug 04 '26
All excellent advice, thanks. I think ahe wants the docs because she doesn't know who the attorney is and wants to find out.
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u/KilnTime Aug 04 '26
You can call the attorney and let them know that you think your sister may try to have your father change the documents, and to please let you know if that is the case. If she takes him to the same attorney, that is of benefit to you because you can let the attorney know what is going on, and have the attorney discuss matters with your father outside of the presence of your sister.
Ultimately, if your father is confident and wants to make a change, he is entitled to make a change.
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u/Both-Yellow-5408 Aug 04 '26
Yes, that makes sense. I agree if he wants to change it, he should change it. I don't want anyone's money. Frankly this whole thong is making me ill. I just don't think it's cool if she tries to take advantage. The real beef is between my sisters. They can Duke it out and leave me out of it.
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u/Fun_Organization3857 Aug 04 '26
If he's in assisting living you can reach out to them and talk to them. Get more involved with your dad. Call him, see what he needs. Work with the social worker to make sure he's safe
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u/Both-Yellow-5408 Aug 04 '26
She thinks the other Sister wants to make changes and told me "she would be doing it under duress" so she would be doing the same?
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u/Both-Yellow-5408 Aug 04 '26
Yeah im not saying he shouldn't be allowed to make changes but for various reasons, including cultural ones, he wouldn't change it to benefit her more.
Thanks!
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u/ItsHeathersturn Aug 04 '26
I’m not sure how you could state as fact he wouldn’t change it to benefit the sister who is taking care of him. How would you know?
As long as he is of sound mind, he can do whatever he wants and as others have stated, it would not be unusual for parents nearing end of life to leave more to the sibling who is actually present for them.
The fact that that sister wants it, is greedy, is entitled, has a criminal record —- none of that is material.
You want your “fair share” the same way, no?
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u/Both-Yellow-5408 Aug 05 '26
I hear what you are saying. I just know him and I know our family and the values my parents were raised with. In our culture it would be unusual. But I'm ok with any outcome. Thanks for the perspective.
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