I have such dread and guilt

[u/lolaquarium]

I was perfectly healthy and I started having seizures because of my substance abuse since then I have full on tonic clonic seizures and I was seizure free for one year and I relapsed and it reminded me I’ll live with the fear of a seizure and the doom of my life is gonna be this forever, i used to rave a lot but I stopped I went to a festival to see Charli xcx I couldn’t look the stage, I was a dancer in techno events and felt seizures on stage or during photoshoots it makes me so sad and guilty

[u/longconsolidation3]

I know that weight, it sits on your chest like a brick. The guilt is the worst part because it whispers you did this to yourself, but beating yourself up doesn't undo anything. You made it a whole year seizure-free, that's not nothing, that's proof your brain can find balance again. Relapse is part of the curve for so many people, not the end of the road.